April 10, 2010

The Elusive Date Night

Date night. 

A time to rise up and shed the smell of dirty diapers and macaroni and cheese, and replace it with the alluring smell of perfume and fruit flavored lip gloss. A time to talk without interruption and remember each other as husband and wife, not just mommy and daddy.

Wait... oh maybe that's why Luke and I have always been pretty bad at going out on date night. Pish, and here I always thought it was lack of planning. But Luke can't stand any type of perfume, scented lotion, or body spray. They make his eyes water, his throat scratchy and he gets a headache.

Believe me, sometimes, church is pure torture for him. Such an overwhelming mixture of all kinds of weird smells.

But we've always been great planners. Especially Luke. I mean, he decided a whole day in advance where he was going to propose and a whole two minutes in advance how he was going to do it!

So it is with our date nights. We give the babysitters a whole hour's advance notice!  I just don't understand why people don't cancel their "planned weeks in advance" activities just for us!

Pish, some people, so rude.

And then there's the ones who never answer when we call. They've probably put our number under the "do not answer upon pain of death" list.

But last night it was probably a good thing we weren't able to find a babysitter at the last minute. Turns out my in-laws dropped by to pick something up.

Since we at least had a heads-up they were coming, we understood the significance of having someone enter the premises without their body armor or protection gear. With all the toy booby-traps and dangerous Barbie VS Car wars going on, we have to be prepared for visitors. We also knew we would need to give the place a clean make-over. After all, We can't have people damaged while they're here!

Man oh man. We've got some mad skills when it come to cleaning up in a hurry. You'd never know it was a dangerous junkyard only minutes before.

Yup, we're THAT good.

So with our house parkly clean and the kids in bed, Luke and I plopped down on the couch in a heap of tired, frumpled flesh where I promptly dozed off on his wonderfully broad, manly chest.

A few minutes later I woke. Stealthy wiping the drool from my mouth I give him a big, fat, smile.

Kissing isn't the only way to exchange saliva ya know.

So instead of going out, we stayed home and swayed to the sultry sound of the dishwasher massaging our dishes clean. And to the broom as it gracefully rubbed our floor till it was smooth once again, void of all crumb bumps and imperpections.

Except for that one spot where I melted the linoleum when the casserole dish exploded. Eh hem, oops.

We whipped out the grand HP laptop computer and spent the night romantically seperated. Him lounging on the floor and me crafting on the couch while we watched re-runs of the "Bob Newhart Show" till one in the morning.

Realizing we had both fallen asleep, I stepped over him and left him there on the floor. Knowing full well that no matter how much I poked and prodded, he would not get up to come sleep in the bed.

Knowing your spouse that well is what marriage is all about.

And so is date night.

The End.

16 super cool people speak:

Linda said...

Ummm yes. That about sums it up. Though it has gotten easier since we have grown our own babysitters. It is cheaper that way too! Have a great weekend.

Heidi said...

I have the same reactions to perfumes, colognes, lotions, etc.... All those poor guys who think they're impressing me, but they're really only making me sick.

The cleaning skill comes in VERY handy when you're trying to sell a home that has 7-8 children living in it and you always get a call that they're coming to show the house in 30 minutes and has to look like no one lives there....Yeah, RIGHT! But we managed it. Over and over again. A true blessing that.

P.S. I look forward to these date nights!

Garden of Egan said...

I feel the same about smells. I want to scream when someone walks by with a perfume that I can taste. For the love people, tone it down.
Sitting in church I can get up and leave, sitting in the temple...not so easy.

Sounds like you had a totally vampy date night. You really know how to party like a rock star.

How totally romantic that you stepped over him and left him on the floor.
Now, did you go to bed and lock the door so you could sleep in?
Remember he's asleep on the floor in the LR so the kids hopefully thought he was a trampoline or something. Then he was awake fixing Captain Crunch. Is that how it went down?
If not, I need to teach you a thing or two.

Braden said...

In a funny way, I actually prefer these kind of date nights to the earlier kind when my wife and I were dating. Those were fun and exciting. But I like that our relationship has mellowed and matured over the years to the point that just being together is enjoyable. The more planned, formal, romantic ones are great, too. But this is one of the perks of years of marriage, I think.

One Cluttered Brain said...

Ahh. The sound of silence and clean! A wonderful feeling. i have one thing for you to know--I hope you don't hate me--but syliva is spelled--SALIVA not the way you spelled it... I really liked that quote--Kissing is not the only way you can exchange saliva...I just thought you would want to know it was misspelled. i would want someone to tell me.

Anyhoo--I love quiet nights alone with the hubby too. Ahh. So nice. Thanks for sharing!

Charlotte said...

My oldest can watch our kids now and I have an instant babysitter. Our dates now include spontaneous runs to the store without the kids to buy things we forgot and other such errands. Much more romantic (and less slobbery).

I've given up trying to wake my sleeping husband to bring him to bed, either.

Amber said...

Out date nights turn into family nights. Baby-sitters? Psh! We bring the whole gang along!

Tonight that didn't go very well. Daughter decided that she wanted to exercise her vocal chords in the middle of a nice restaurant. I guess we might need to invest in a sitter.

I like to wake up my husband. If I don't, he won't sleep very well.

Kristine said...

And here I thought we were the only ones with date nite like that :)

MommyJ said...

I like at home date nights too... the kids even know that on these nights, they will go to bed early and Mommy and Daddy will eat good food that is NOT shared with them. All because we love each other.

There is also much happiness to be found in a relationship where drool is no longer something to be embarrassed about. Not that I would know from uh, personal experience or anything.

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

Two solutions here...call inlaws during the week and say hey we are dropping YOUR CUTEST grandchildren off at 5:00 p.m. Saturday night, have dinner & root beer floats ready!
Then there is always 'LOCK THE DOOR SUNDAY AFTERNOON' kiss time to look forward to...don't answer door if they start pounding!

Mother Smith said...

I had to smile over your blog, this morning...Fortunately, in the early years of our marriage...our date nights consisted of going to the temple...or going to the grocery store...Later...when you could watch yourselves...date night was a simple cheap dinner out or to the temple...Now...we either go to the temple...or stay HOME...and watch a movie...Depending on the movie...one or both of us...generally are asleep before it is over...or if it is a movie we have never seen...we manage to stay awake through the whole movie...Now, that is a "progressive" marital relationship...(smile)

Krista said...

I love it! Yes, that is true love when you can swap saliva without kissing. Our date nights usually involve bringing our nine year old, because even though we have two teens, they are very busy. They do take her once in awhile - and here's the other part of true love - you talk about the kids while you're finally alone. Loved your post!

Jackie said...

Thanks for the run down. Now I can say I have seen the movie, right?

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yea, so glad you got out! We haven't had a date night in a million years! So you know, that means I *still* stink like dirty diapers and mac'n'cheese! HELP!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Sue said...

Soooooo romantic. I admit to being just, plain jealous.


Garvin Smith said...

I'm not sure what we did more on date night, the temple, or grocery shopping?
Some friends from Florida told us when they were young they would go into a card shop, pick out a special card, and "give" it to their spouse. They would enjoy the card, put it back, save the money, and enjoy the date!

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