July 30, 2010

Indoor Reflecting Pool


See, normally our floor doesn't reflect. It's just your average, everyday, dull, non-reflecting linoleum.

Well, except when it's buried under half an inch of water. 

I know, you're jealous. 

I mean, it's not like everybody has their own personal, indoor reflecting pool!

Maybe next time I'll just turn on the shower and sell tickets for our No-Sunburn Splash Park!

A spin in the toilet would cost extra though.

It's those quiet ones you have to watch out for.

Sneaky little monkey.

July 28, 2010

Take Advantage of the Moment

The truth is, I've been a pretty grouchy momma bear lately.

No no, its true. I don't think I've spoken so often between clenched teeth... and not so clenched teeth, as much as I have this past week or so. 

Grrrr... roar! Hisssss.....

 Yup, that's been me lately.

Oh, did I mention my kids have been incredibly grouchy too? Oh yes, yes they have. About put me over the edge!

But last night was different. 

The weather was cool and overcast with a stiff breeze, and there was a gorgeous sunset. 

And the best part? The kids were in a good mood! *gasp*

Okay, who are you and what have you done with my children!?

They were playing so well together and having a blast. I just HAD to take advantage of the situation to stock up on cute pictures!

Maybe then they'll forget all about having a mean mommy that roars and hisses and think that I was actually pretty cool.

Maybe?... Maybe if I bribed them with chocolate?

I'm not above bribing. 

My four ragamuffins. (I'm loving that word Amy, I may just have to keep using it!)

My little blonde-haired, blue-eyed rascals.
Me and my girls! (I know, bad picture of me so don't poke fun or I'll have to Hunt. You. Down!)

Me and my boys!

My kids, all five of them! - Take One

Haha, just kidding... sort of.

Love you honey!
Come on daddy! Give me a REAL smile! Take Two

Okay, close enough.

The ones who lovingly gave me stretch marks - Take One

The one who lovingly kicked my ribs and punched my bladder - Take Two

To my sweet little ragamuffins: just know that when I eat all your chocolate, force you to take naps, refuse to buy you toys, or make other sacrifices that hurt me more than you, just know I do it all because...

I love you!

July 27, 2010

The truth of the matter

We try, you know? We really do try.

And if I may, with your permission of course, boast of one small thing before I offer up to you, in humble humiliation, the uncensored truth of the matter.

K, here it goes. We have family prayer every night without fail.

*insert super hero image with chest puffed out and fists on hips*

Yes indeed. But before images from the primary lessons form in your minds of families kneeling in a perfect circle, arms folded, heads bowed, reverently listening, allow me to correct your assumption and paint a proper picture.

Usually, by the end of the day, I am done. I am ready! Ready for bed, for peace, quiet, a chance to actually get some work done, for chocolate... again. So I confess I get somewhat aggravated at times when I've been sitting on my knees for ten minutes waiting for everyone to gather for prayer.

As a few fights erupt because one child beat the other one to the floor but the other one wanted to be first, I end up growling and scowling,"Shhhhhhh!!! It's time to be reverent!"

Yea, way to bring the spirit.

In an effort to get their attention, we ask them "how do we pray guys? Show us how to pray!"

They respond, "be wevewent, cwose your eyes, hold stiw.... as they bounce on their knees, bury their head into the carpet with their bum sticking up in the air, or close there eyes and peek so they can keep playing.

Now, we take turns saying prayers so each night someone else gets a turn, even the kids. But before we can ever get that far, there is usually an argument over who's turn it its.

It's my turn!
No It's my turn!
Uh uh! I get to say opening prayer, you get to say closing prayer! (can you tell we attend church?)
No I want to say opening prayer.
No! Grrrrrr aahhhhh *whack* It's my turn!
*clentched teeth* No it's my turn! *poke*

Oh ya, its lovely.

And since we don't condone tackling or playing tag during prayer, it is often the case that my husband is holding one squirmy, hyper child, while I hold another.

It just so happens that my children loathe being manhandled. No truly, I've witnessed them beat up a poor old lady who decided to "save their lives" from an automatic door by grabbing their arms and pulling them away. You know, the ones with a sensor on it so it won't squish you? As horrified as I was, I secretly felt a twinge of guilt at thinking she kind of deserved it. I was standing right there after all and I just chalked that one up to stranger danger kicking in and all that. Savannah was only three and Joseph was two at the time.

Yes, I am a good mother like that.

Needless to say, I've received my fair share of head butts and cut lips as they try to wriggle and squirm their way out of my arms.

Of course, since they hate being held down so much, there is often quite a bit of  screaming and crying. Sometimes if the screaming is too loud, the one praying comes close to shout volume and on occasion, the child trying to pray will start to cry because they "tan't hear!" and "its too woud to pway!"

Oh, did I forget to mention they like to pray in silly voices too?

And as soon as the "Amen" is heard, everyone leaps to their feet and scampers off.


*sigh again*

But hey, at least we have family prayer every night... er, right?

*insert super hero image with chest puffed out and fists on hips*

July 25, 2010

Church Adventures

As I walked into the Young Women's room today for the last hour of church, Karlie, a sixteen year old girl, looked up at me with a huge smile.

K: "You have a very funny son".

Nervous Me: "Which one?"

K: I'm not sure, but I was walking by the bathrooms when he walked out of the men's room with his underwear and pants around his ankles. Then he threw his hands up in the air and shouted, 'I went potty!' It was SO funny!"

Slightly horrified me: "Oh... that would be Jacob."

Nothing like knowing your three year old son flashed a bunch of people at church.


July 22, 2010

Just another day

The wind howled and screeched as it slipped its way through the open windows. Rain beat so hard against the glass that it could have been mistaken for hail. Thunder shook the house and at that moment, the power went out.

Two small figures huddled together in the dark, whispering intently.

Batman One: Hey Batman, do you see da bad duys?

Batman Two: Ya, Dey are over dere! Dey are going to det the smarshmellows! Hurry Batman! Hide da smarshmellows!

Batman One: Tay! Follow me!

In a flash the two small figures leapt from their hiding place.

Oh no! Batman One yelled in horror, here are da bad duys!

Battle cries shredded the silence that had enveloped the morning as the two brave Batmen fought to defend their beloved, imaginary marshmallows.

The battle was intense, there were so many bad guys! After taking a blow or two, Batman Two decided to give the bad guys a piece of his mind.

You are mean bad guy! Gggrrraaaarrrr! Pow! You can't have my smarshmellows!

At last, victory was theirs.

Or so they thought. It wasn't long before they realized that they had more serious problems coming their way.

Uh oh. Batman One said quietly as he started backing away, Here tum da taradactals!  

Yea, said Batman Two, as he too began to back away slowly, eyes intent on watching his feet as he did so, here dey tum to det our smarshmellows!

Ahhhh, and hot lava! Screamed Batman One.


Before you could blink, they were off in a frantic run as they tried to escape the pterodactyls and hot lava that were headed their way.....



... and then we will be happy and he will loooooove me. And I will love him, and we will be happy...

The princess walked through the midst of the chaos, completely oblivious to the lava and pterodactyls as she tried out her 984,635th paper airplane.

*sigh* This is the best one ever! She exclaimed as she sent it sailing, sort of, through the air. Once it crashed landed, she skipped over to it happily, pure joys radiated from her face.

Suddenly she stopped cold in her tracks, as a horrified expression crept over her once angelic features.

Oh no! My marbles! Where are my marbles! she exclaimed.

Panic over took her as she frantically began searching for her marbles.

I lost my marbles! Oh what shall I do? I lost my marbles! (tell me about it)

Soon, she was overcome with moaning and groaning, and nothing could appease her as she searched relentlessly for her lost marbles....


It started out innocently enough. All I wanted was my sippy cup that sat on counter. Is that so bad?

I declare that it not so.

It wasn't MY fault that my brothers left several full cups of water on the counter! Or a half-eaten bowl of cereal!  I mean, come on, its not as if I ASKED them to do that for me.

And my sister? Well, if she's okay to leave her toast sittin' around, then I'm okay to poke holes in it.

Just saying.

I don't know why mom got so upset when she caught me exploring the wonders of how water can alter the appearance and durability of paper. I was merely enjoying the world around me!

I mean, sheesh! Can't a person be appreciated for their gifts?

How dare she interrupt my creativity!

I knew I should have stuck to my original plan of becoming a sumo wrestler, I just knew it!

Oh oh, I know! I bet if I throw myself to the ground while screaming, flop around for a while and push my head into the counter, I bet she'd stop cleaning up and let me get back to my creativity!

Yea! Let's give that a try....


At that moment, lightning and thunder seemed to hit simultaneously as it shook the house so much it set off the piercing fire alarms for a few seconds.

When it was over, there was silence....

For about 3.2 seconds. Because unless they're sleeping, that's about as long as my kids are capable of silence.
Note: I started this post last night, so technically, this was how my day started yesterday.
If that matters at all... which it doesn't so... yea, never mind.

July 20, 2010

It was worth the wait

In the whole of my existence, I have never had a credit card.

Not ever.

And neither has my husband.

We have never bought anything we couldn't pay for in whole, up front. Well, except for our car when we needed an extra seat for baby number four (which is now thankfully paid off) and of course, our house.

My husband finished his master's degree in engineering and we left school two years ago with three small children, no debt, and pretty much all the same furniture that we had when we first got married.

We bought our first house, this house, over a year ago.

I have often joked with my husband that we have a nice house and no furniture to put in it, and does that make us weird?

I have NEVER been embarrassed by the fact that our kids sleep on mattresses on the floor (hey, at least I don't have to worry about them falling off the bed!) or that my kitchen table is plastic, and it folds (at least the kids can't put fork holes in it) or that we had one, solitary couch in our living room. The financial peace was worth it.

Having a decent savings was more important than having new stuff and our families situations were such that there was no hand-me-down furniture to pass along.

The problem arises when we have company over. "So um... would you like a pillow for your spot on the floor?"

Makes for a bit of an awkward situation.

We have been saving up for couches for quite a while now and were about half-way there when it came.

A surprise check in the mail! *gasp* For us? Really?

Apparently we have been paying too much on our mortgage so they had cut us a check back.

I was ecstatic! No truly, I 'm pretty sure I danced over to my husband that night to show him all while singing that we could finally get some couches!

Since we had been looking for some for the last couple months, we already knew which ones we wanted, and we got a pretty good deal on them.

They arrived last Friday and we excitedly brought them in. I was in love.

But now that we had a couch AND a loveseat, it threw our whole layout off. It needed something else, you know?

I thought a big bookcase would do the trick as I LOVE books and have quite a few!

Not being able to find one I liked, I started looking at hutches on craigslist and low and behold, I found one! It was as if it was made, just for me. I L.O.V.E. it!

Since we had money left over from our check, we got it!

BEFORE: Our one couch that we've had since we first got married, a TV that was a gift from a family friend that sat on a wood... thingy made by my husband back in high school.

AFTER: Our new couches and hutch! YEA!

Obviously the room still needs some work, like cute things on the shelves (bonus for being a female blogger, we get to say words like "cute") maybe a plant in the corner, pictures, etc.

But baby steps you know, patience. I know we'll get there eventually.

For now, I'm just loving our new living room!

It was SO worth the wait.

July 19, 2010

3 MORE reasons why you should have kids

We're all friends here, right?

And surely you know by now that if I can post pictures of my basement in all it's, err... played in glory, *cough* yea, that's a good way to phrase it, or admit that my kids have licked yogurt off the floor, that I'm the honest sort, right?

Last time I gave three reasons to have kids, I was in a "loving life and having all these crazy kids" mode.

Today, I'm writing this because I need to be reminded of why I even had kids!

What? You'd feel the same way if you took your family to the Visitor's Center at the Temple only to have your husband wander off, your three year old stomp on the Christus, then jump on the furniture, your four-year old tackle your one and a half year old to the ground who let out a ear splitting screech attracting all 30-something people in the small room, and your five year old sitting nicely, ferociously attacking the touch screen computer as she would get frustrated when it didn't do exactly what she wanted.

It does make one wonder if one should be allowed to reproduce at all. Just sayin'.

So, on that happy note and without further ado, here are three MORE reason why you should have kids.

3. Leftovers are no longer a problem. Leave something out long enough, and it usually disappears.

See? Having kids should be considered "green"!

2. They leave you presents by the bathtub.

I might be the only one here who can say this but, I've never been left a present by the bathtub, until I had kids.

See what kinds of things you can start to boast about once your posterity are involved?

1. Okay, let's just be honest here.

Who WOULDN'T want to have this in their living room?

I know I sure love it!

Oh, I'm actually referring to the kids. Not that fact that they are engrossed in a cartoon that's probably older than I am.

*squaring shoulders*

Feeling better. Now I can face my kid-filled day!

*screaming erupting in the background*


July 16, 2010

Just add water - Part 1

I tried really hard to come up with an inspirational way to describe how well kids and sprinklers play together.

Children are like weeds in the garden of life.

Errr, no. No I don't think that's right.

Like a paper towel, kids soak up water and become a puddle of mush a mother's loving hands.

Okay... nope. That's not right either.

Give a child some water, appease them for a moment. Teach a child to use a hose, appease them for a lifetime.

Okay okay, so I won't be winning any inspirational awards here anytime soon. 

But I get points for trying, right?

When summer first started, the blogosphere seemed flooded with the fears from mothers on how they were going to survive summer with all their kids at home all day.

My answer? Just add water baby! Yes, even if you have teenagers! Gracious, I was all about mud fights and playing in the sprinklers as a teenager!

Then again, you did just see how, er, "cool" I was as a teenager so... on second thought, if you have teenagers, don't listen to me. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Apparently, sitting on the sprinkler makes for oodles of fun.

Although personally, I would think the sensation would be rather strange.

Sprinklers bring out the best in my kids. 

Bring on the team work!

Of course, when you sit on it well enough to make your baby sister think the way is all clear...

... perhaps I should re-think my theory that all kids love water?

Time to step up the fun! Sprinkler under the trampoline does the trick!

And after a day of sprinkler filled fun, you have peace. 

Lots of it.

See how well that works?

And THAT my friends, is what's known as summer survival.

P.S. You can also find me over at MMB today! Yippee!

July 14, 2010

The "Perfect" Family?

Sometimes people say strange things. Granted, so do I.

And I know they mean it in the nicest way possible, or as a compliment.

But I have to wonder sometimes too. Did they stop to think about what they just said? Granted, sometimes I don't.

Besides being accused of NOT knowing where babies come from, there has been one thing that I have been hearing more and more often. You ready for this?

K, here it goes.

They say: "Two boys and two girls? Oh what a perfect family!"
I think: Good thing they don't know what my house looks like right now!"

They say: Oh wow, two boys and two girls! You have the perfect family!"
I think: Well, you obviously missed the cat fight that took place on isle six."

Perfect family? Apparently having an even number of boys vs girls makes you the perfect family!

Gosh, I guess it really is easy to be considered perfect after all! Who knew?

It's funny since my husband and I got that a lot when we had just our first two.

"You have a boy and a girl! That's perfect! Now you guys can be done!"

I must have missed the memo that it was necessary to have both genders before you can be done having kids.

But I guess with having TWO of each gender, people don't even bother asking if we are done anymore, they just assume we are.

See, I come from a "perfect" family of four boys and four girls. My husband on the other hand comes from a "not-perfect" family of seven boys and two girls.

See how that works!

Yea... me either.

But it would seem we are constantly flopping back and forth between perfection and imperfection.

Not Perfect


Not perfect


And someday, we will no longer be considered the perfect family. And I think it will be great!

Heaven forbid we mess up our perfect family. *gasp*

This message is brought to you by the "No, I am NOT pregnant foundation" where we really do know where babies come from.
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