April 24, 2010

"Did you ever get the feeling...

... that you were being watched, and that maybe that thing watching you is... ehhh, a giant elephant in the sky?"  -Horton Hears A Who

Heh, and you know those times when you just feel like every little thing you do is wrong and horribly awful even if it really isn't it just feels that way because someone else has it more together than you do and you know you shouldn't compare yourself to others but sometimes it's hard not to especially when it feels like everything is spinning out of control and you are at a loss as to how stop it all and get back on track and save your children the embarrassment of having such an awful parent who seems to goof up everything all the time and who wonders why the heck they were even given children if they are just going to mess up their lives with their own imperfections and so you feel like the scum of the earth for even existing and having the gall to become a parent in the first place and messing up all of humanity and bringing nothing but chaos and destruction to the world!


*massive intake of breath*

Do you know that feeling?

*crickets chirping, blank stares*

Whew... *nervous laughter * me either.

17 super cool people speak:

Sue said...

I think I did know someone once who mentioned that sort of thing...

No one I knew really well, of course.

=)

Scrappy Girl said...

Um honestly...I think those are my exact feelings 5 out 7 days around the hour of 5 or 6 or 7 o'clock pm.

the fowlers said...

uh, i have no idea what you mean. not every day or anything like that. especially not when i compare myself to, say, for example, you!

(i'm totally serious. you make me feel like more of an amateur than i already am!)

Cheeseboy said...

Yes... yes I do. And my kids are not even 10 yet.

Patty Ann said...

I think, Serene, that we all feel like that from time to time. Just wait until one of your children makes different choices that lead them away from what you know is true. Than, you feel like this everyday and wonder what you should have, could have and needed to do different. Thanks for posting. It is always good to know that others think the same things.

Evelyn Perkins said...

Ha! Daily! No! Hourly! ugh.

Teachinfourth said...

No kids of my own yet, but I feel that way around some of the classes of students I teach. Good thing there's always a tomorrow to make it all better.

Found your blog via Abe's…give him glory.

Pearl said...

ummm...feeling those thing RIGHT NOW! I had to leave church and take 2 children with me because I could feel all the stares burning into my back as i tried to keep the kids under control during the most important part. Good thing I'm just a speck on a small flower who know one really pays attention to....

Saimi said...

I'm on board with Patty Ann.

Words of comfort that can keep from beating ones self up is the saying, "Teach them correct principals and let them govern themselves"

If you've done this, the rest is up to the wanderer, along with lots of prayers and love!

Hang in there Serene, you're doing a GREAT job!!

Garvin Smith said...

Raising children is years of dull pain, spiked with moments of intense joy. The total of the two must be equal as there must needs be opposition in all things.
While I'm certain all conscientious mothers feel like failures, they are really not. You mother felt like you have expressed on occasion, but look at how well you and your siblings turned out! Your children will turn out equally awesome. However when your girls experience motherhood there will be times they too will feel like abject failures. Satan does his job so well!

Heidi said...

Except for the children part, yes. I completely understand it all spinning out of control and feeling like I've messed everything up and what in the world am I doing with the responsibilities I have that I'm not able to meet as well as I should and, and, and...?

What? Oh. Of course I'm not feeling like that right now. Not at all.

Mother Smith said...

Oh...Sarah...I have beat myself up...many many many times...over the years...over the way I handled things in the past...

I finally had to stop...I can't do anything about the PAST...except LEARN FROM it...ALL I can do is LIVE IN THE PRESENT...and do the best I can with it...

At the end of the day...when we RETURN and REPORT our day to our LOVING FATHER...We can simply "Evaluate" with the spirit...how we handled this PRESENT day's exams...If we feel we can do better on the EXAM in our Mother 101 course...that was given on this day...then, RETAKE IT TOMORROW...and see if you can do a better job at it...Chances are...you will get a better GRADE...

Life is all about mini EXAMS...Our MOTHER 101 COURSE...will be one of the TOUGHEST courses you will ever take in this life...The textbook and tools you are given are...PRAYER, SCRIPTURES, and LIVING prophets of God...Through them, you will discover the "Pearls of GREAT PRICE"...that will show you HOW to PASS THE COURSE!!!

YOU, my darling daughter...will SUCCEED...! IN SPITE of all the POOR MARKS I had during my Mother 101 Course...Look how all of you turned out!!! (smile) YOU are LIGHT YEARS AHEAD OF ME, Sarah...when I was your age!!! YOU WILL SUCCEED!!!! A MOTHER KNOWS!!!! (smile)

Garden of Egan said...

Even though I'm now an empty-nester.........I still feel that way. Sorry to burst some bubble that you may have had thinking that when they are raised and out of the house that it will be all better.

No, you don't have the market on that.
I've come home from church in tears for the past few weeks.

The crickets you heard were from all of us ..... crickets can't chirp when their mouths are hanging open cuz they thought they were the only ones feeling that way.

Love ya!

M-Cat said...

I feel that way from the time my eyes open in the morning until they close at night. I think I just got very good at pretending it's all good.....

Charlotte said...

Wait, are we not supposed to feel like that all the time? At least you can make me smile about it.

Rachel Sue said...

Yep.

Wait. Did I just say that?

Mikki said...

Ok, I'm visiting from Tauna's blog and just had to comment on this one. I don't know if you go back very far and read old post comments, anywho, I SO TOTALLY RELATE to this post! I felt this way in church today. And always, after one of my shrieking bouts. My poor kids.

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