April 21, 2010

Of alarm clocks and toilet paper.


Back in college, before I had wrinkles in places I'd prefer not to mention, I lived in a two bedroom apartment with five other girls. Just in case math isn't a strong point, allow me to clarify. Three girls per oh, so small bedroom.

*That would be me in the middle on the bottom. The weird face indicates I was compensating for lack of oxygen. If I was going to die, I was going to go out smiling!


I was lucky and had awesome roomies who all got along pretty well.  If you could overlook the hair that collected in the corners of the bathroom, the insane amount of shoes strewn throughout the small apartment, and the dishes that always filled the sink to overflowing, they didn't argue about much.

With the exception of two very important things: toilet paper and alarm clocks.

There was a never-ending dispute over who's turn it was to buy the toilet paper or whether to get one ply, or two ply paper. One roommate would always buy the one-ply and no matter how much you bunched together, it seemed to instantly dissolve upon impact.

When my kids go to college, I'll expect them to pay for tuition and I'll cover toilet paper costs.

Because I love them THAT much.

*First time experiencing frozen clothing. At the time, I thought it was cool! No pun intended.

As for the alarm clocks, there was constant grumbling over "so-and-so", or "you-know-who", who NEVER woke up to her alarm and it would beep incessantly for a good half hour until you would hear someone get mad enough to pound over to the poor, homework induced coma of a roommate like a bull seeing red, and jerk them out of their hot-guy-make-out dream and back into reality with a big *WHACK!* to the alarm clock that sat a mere inches from their heads.

I witnessed this ritual fairly often and honestly, I'm only guessing at the hot-guy-make-out dream part because they were ALWAYS drooling before they were so rudely brought back to reality.

At the time, I was a nice girl who never wanted to make anyone mad so I never had the guts to say anything about the toilet paper or the alarm clocks.

Although, I'm fairly certain that once or twice I would wake to the sound of my name being hissed across the room like a bunch of poison filled darts, telling me to either get my backside out of bed or quit hitting snooze.

Apparently, my life depended on it.

*First college dance. "Ha ha... wait, what?"

If I remember correctly, which I probably don't,  it was one of the biggest complaints in our apartment; the six different alarm clocks going off at all hours of the early morning.

Oddly enough, these strange memories came flooding back to my disgruntled mind this morning as I heard the rustle of a diaper walk into our bedroom, *rustle rustle rustle* pause, then *rustle rustle rustle* around to my husband's side of the bed.

My kids know better then to bug me. I am demon mommy before sunrise. It's the only time you'll ever see my horns.

 Vaguely aware that the rustling diaper had ceased its movement and was now snuggled up into our bed next to Luke, I started drifting back to sleep when I was jolted back awake by Luke's distraught cry. He leaped up as though he had just discovered a snake in our bed and exclaimed, "Jacob! You're soaked!!"

Since Jacob had leaked his diaper and soaked his bed, what else was there to do other than climb up into mom and dad's nice dry bed?

Who needs an alarm clock when you've got loving, considerate children to wake you up? Still, if I had to choose between the roommate with the annoying alarm clock, and a urine soaked body crawling in next to me, I think I'd opt for the alarm clock.

Just sayin'. 

28 super cool people speak:

Scrappy Girl said...

Better him than you {wink wink}. When Cutie wakes up first she comes in and climbs up on the bed and crawls under the covers to snuggle with me. When Wild Child wakes up first she bounces into the room and announces "It is light outside...time to get up!"

Royalbird said...

I am so with you on that last sentiment! We haven't needed to set an alarm clock in about 7 years (7 years on May 8th!). Our beautiful children like to crawl into bed with us in the morning around 5:30 a.m. Every day.

Kristina P. said...

I get so mad when my husband gets up and forgets to turn off his alarm. Which means he's in the shower, and I have to actually move!

Lisa said...

Ew. Stinky wet rabbits. I remember that smell well. Kind of glad I get to relive it vicariously through you. Bless your young mother heart. :)

Sue said...

Yes, it's all relative, isn't it?

(But must I spend every segment of my life realizing that I didn't know when I had it good?!)

;)

Cheeseboy said...

Ah yes, nothing says good morning like urine soaked sheets.

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

urine soaked body, hahah! SIiiiiiiick!!! Love all the college pics, you're so cute!

Patty Ann said...

Serene, thank you so much for the laugh today! I was missing the time the girls were babies until I remembered this. They Always got in on MY side of the bed! I can't tell you how many times my morning ritual included cleaning the sheets. Cute college pics! You were amazing (of course!)

See Mom Smile said...

Ah so many memories of too many women shoved into an apt. made of cinderblock. Good times!

Krista said...

You made me LOL at work! (Where I shouldn't be looking at blogs - but since I have nothing to do and school tonight - I just had to look at some of my favs!) The whole drooling dreams thing - oh so funny! My roomie and I had a poster of an old lady fanning herself saying, "So many men, so little time."

Heidi said...

That first picture brings so many memories!!! My Visiting Teachee! My roommie's sister! My mission decision buddy! My Austen/Montgomery/teeth-sympathies chum. *sniff* Oh the memories of those crowded 2-room 6-person apartments.

Honestly, I didn't think they were that tiny unless the roommate didn't clean her side of the room. And I am blessed with the wonderful talent of sleeping through alarm clocks. It's why I have 6--that don't always work. I worry that crying babies or soaked children might not wake me. I guess I'll find out one day.

P.S. You are so lovely in your first college dance picture, but I do believe you've gotten even prettier since.

One Cluttered Brain said...

HAHA! urine soaked sheets. Sounds like a page out of my life. Except not that early. Most of my kids get up AFTER the sun comes up.
Thank goodness.

Loved the college pictures.

And the 1 ply VS 2 ply? Seriously? There is NO comparison. 2 ply ALL the way. 1 ply doesn't wipe anything OFF no matter how much you have. :)

Saimi said...

Hahaha! Serene you are so funny! Love the college pics. I bet your wondering how you went from college girl to mommy over night...Cause seriously, you still look like college girl!

Charlotte said...

I married the roommate incapable of waking to the alarm clock. He does, however, respond to a kick in the back of the legs shoving him out of bed to stop the alarm.

Love the soaked through diaper wake ups. I can say that, because I no longer have to worry about them. I do, however, have two kids who have alarm clocks that they often don't turn off. So it is the circle of life, I guess.

Pearl said...

I too have horns before sunrise!! My kids know better than to crawl into our bed, be it my side or mr. dadman's. Our 3 year old is so proficient, he will change himself should he have an accident in the middle of the night. All I have to do is pick up wet clothes from the bathroom in the morning. It's all about training...gotta train them right ;)

Just One Week said...

I love reminiscing about college! It is amazing how we could live with so many girls in such close quarters (be it 60 in the sorority or 5 in our apartment). Oh the piles of dishes!

Stopping by to welcome you to SITS :)

The Mrs. said...

loving and considerate children who are up before the sun. It's just against nature! I love sleep, why don't they?

Thanks for the friendship on MMB,

Cara

Mama Smith said...

Ha....Ha...Your dad and I now have our PHONE ALARMS go off at the same time...We both...move to shut them off...but, I manage to hit the right area...so it doesn't go OFF...again...Your dad...on the other hand...manages to miss that button...and it will go off a couple more times....See...it never seems to change...even when you grow "older"...(smile)

Garden of Egan said...

Hilarious.........again!
Maybe you should have had him in your apartment instead of the alarm clock huh?

You have such cute ways of telling the mundane everyday stories of motherhood......except you don't do much mundane. Like casserole dish on fire breaking on the floor stuff.

You're never a dull moment I tell ya. I can hardly wait for the next installment. Maybe you should give the kids the keys to the car and shake things up a bit!

Evelyn Perkins said...

I can't remember the last time I set my alarm. I don't know if I even remember how. I loved the "rustle rustle" part. It made me smile!

M-Cat said...

I had roommates for about 3 months before I got married, and I am so glad I didn't have to endure them any longer than that!

And I must be weird. I would take the urine soaked kid. Strip of that diaper to his nakie, and have him come crawl in.

But I'm weird that way

Angel Day said...

Sarah...I feel your pain. Jared said that we should take the bed off the frame so Nathan can on by himself. But instead of going to Daddy's side he always finds mine. This morning Nathan comes in completely soaked!!! Yeah, it has happened a few times.

Rachel Sue said...

That sounds so much like my apartment. 2 of my roomates worked as janitors and had to be up at 4 every morning. And every morning they would hit the snooze repeatedly. And then when they were late, their boss would call. At 4:30 in the morning. I vaguely remember (it was 4:30 in the morning after all) answering the phone one morning and telling off their boss for waking ALL of us up.

Sara Lyn said...

Oh, boy. I don't remember either of those aspects. Was I that roommate everyone was grumbling about? :)

Wendy said...

Oh the fun college memories. And I have to agree I'd go for the annoying clock problems rather than the leaky diaper problems.

I enjoy reading your stuff!!

Lisa said...

What a great post. College days, those were the best. Now my kids are going to college. Crazy! I'm coming over from MMB.

Bethany said...

Ahhh, college. It seems so long ago. Wow, 6 of you in two bedrooms? YIKES! I'm glad you all got along...and actually now that I think about it, I lived in a loft with 4 girls and 2 bedrooms and we all got along really well too :) I miss college (except the cramming for tests!)

NatureGirl said...

You always make me smile little missy...Thanks for the glimpse into you lovely life yet again!

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