June 30, 2010

Teeth VS Claws

I realize I could lose readers due to this post, but it's a risk I have to take. For there comes a time in every one's life when they feel they need to take a stand, voice their opinion, and do what they can to change the world!

*cough* Err... I'm totally blaming that on my lack of sleep.

Generally speaking, I'm not much of a groupie.

Although I have seriously considered making a "Team Chocolate" shirt, just to make sure people know where I stand on important matters.

But I don't own a single fan t-shirt of any kind, or have a poster of anyone. Not so much as a key chain that belongs to a famous character, book, movie, or person.

I'm sure as many of you know, due to the rather large bags under your eyes and the caffeinated sodas in your hands that you're guzzlin' down as you read this, that the new Twilight movie, "Eclipse" premiered last night.

My new friend Gina had a spare ticket and invited me to go in a very, I'm Gina and I won't take no for an answer type of way. That's why I love her.

She even lent me a t-shirt so I would fit in. Now that's true friendship.

I met up with Gina and her super-cool friends and waited hours at the theatre for the movie to start. Think hyper, giddy women on a caffeinated sugar rush confined to a very small space.

It was awesome.

Despite the sea of raging romance-deprived estrogen that ravished the movie theatre last night, I was only mildly disturbed by the number of 600-year old women wearing "Bite Me" t-shirts.

I was, however, surprised at the mildly impressive number of men there representing Team Testosterone. I have to wonder what their wives/girlfriends threatened them with in order to get them there and temporary turn over their man-card.

I admit I had been a little hesitant to go. I liked the books but had groaned and rolled my eyes all through the first movie, and laughed my way through the second.

That being said, here are few things some of you may or may not be happy to know. Don't worry, no spoilers.

- The movie still did not make enough money to provide enough shirts for Jacob.
- They hired a new make-up artist who was actually successful in making Edward look hot.
- The fight scenes were really pretty good and I believe would be "male" approved.
- The acting significantly improved. Bella is capable of showing emotion after all!
- There are some pretty dang good one-liners in the movie.
- Jacob is still whiny and Edward is still dumb.
- The romantic parts are still super-cheesy.
- Go Team Edward!

Hey! Who said that last one? I'm Switzerland.

All in all, I thought this movie was WAY better than the other two. I enjoyed it.

After I got home and removed the sleeping children from my side of the bed at 3am, I snuggled beneath the covers and fell into a deep sleep that I awoke from just in time to be late for Joseph's T-ball game this morning.

If they only knew what I give up for them.

Because I'm a good mother like that.

June 28, 2010

Savannah's Sign Gallery

Due to the amount of interest shown in Savannah's door sign shown my last post, I have decided to open the doors to her personal gallery and invite you all to come forth and be inspired.

As we are a non-profit organization, large donations of intrinsic or cocoa value are required at the end of the tour.

Thank you.

Step right this way and please watch out for the diaper left in the hallway.

Behold, Savannah's inner closet door.

This is where the signs reside until needed. When their service is required, they then make the journey to her bedroom door, to the place of honor and recognition.

Title: I am Mad
Medium: Graphite on paper
Artist: Savannah

By far, the most popular piece, this sign has often held the place of honor.

As if it wasn't obvious by her severely pouting face, folded arms and growling voice, this little artist wants to make sure we understand how she feels.

Title: I am Sad
Medium: Graphite on paper
Artist: Savannah

Coming in close second, this drawing expresses itself without the need for words. I also find this to be quite an accurate portrait.

Whenever I am crying like this, I feel like one of my eyes are bigger than the other as well! Brilliant really.

Title: I am Glad
Medium: Graphite on paper
Artist: Savannah

The eyelashes are a touch that I personally love.

This is a very thought provoking piece. Don't you wonder why her eyes are closed? Is it peace? Contentment? Or maybe she's trying to hide something by not looking directly at me?

Title: I am Mad and Sad and Glad
Medium: Crayon on paper
Artist: Savannah

Truthfully, I dread the day when this sign adorns the bedroom door.

Which emotion should I address first? Will one emotion grow stronger if I show favor to one over the other? What if the faces start fighting?

This is very intense for me. It puts all my motherly skills to the test.

Title: No Moms Allowed
Medium: Crayon on paper
Artist: Savannah

Reserved for only the WORST of offences, like taking away a treat or a toy due to bad behavior, I suppose she resorted to this method upon discovering that locking the door doesn't work.

Title: Yes, Moms Allowed
Medium: Crayon on paper
Artist: Savannah

It's always nice to know when you are held in good favor and are allowed and welcome to come in.

If anyone is interested in special ordering their own set of signs from Savannah, please contact Serene @ Signs for the Emotionally Confused.

I suspect she will do well in marriage. I can just see her designing a "I am mad" sign for her husband....

June 26, 2010

3 reasons why you should have kids

3. They are always willing to help with the yard work.

No matter how dirty the job.

Until they are about five years old.

But that's beside the point here. *clearing throat*

2. They have a way of letting you know EXACTLY how they feel, without ever saying a word.

Or maybe it's just a girl thing?

1. They have AWESOME fashion sense and are always willing to bring you flowers.

Now that's real love for ya.

What more could you ask for?

P.S. I try and limit the amount of times I check my stats to just once a week. So today, when I did, I was astounded at the number of hits I got yesterday!

Because let's be honest, as totally awesomely fabulous as my blog is, it's not THAT great.

And yes, that makes perfect sense to me.

Turns out, my Walmart Cart Train post was featured on Mormon Times!

I know right, I was almost blinded by my own awesomeness!

Okay, not really.

Still, I haven't felt this famous since I ended up on the local news in my sweats!

June 25, 2010

T-Ball is Kicking my Trash

Note: Please adorn saftey gear now. Stray balls and flying baseball bats lay ahead.

Joseph had a make-up T-Ball game yesterday, since one of his games had been cancelled due to rain.

When I announced we were going to a make-up game, Savannah was devastated. Was she invited? Could she go too? Did she get one?

After I explained I wasn't talking about cosmetics, her interest died quickly.

But the other team didn't show up, so there was no game. Joseph could have cared less, and I was overjoyed! Ecstatic really.

I *loathe* T-ball.

No really, I do. There are many things I try to like for my kids' sake. Like not sleeping and under-cooked hotdogs. But T-ball? I'm stugglin'.

I think I would rather give up chocolate forever rather than ever do T-Ball again.

And next year when both boys play, I'll remind myself of this and wonder how I could have forgotten the loathing so easily.

Granted, if I only had to deal with the one kid who was actually playing, it would be quite doable. Perhaps, and I say this with chagrin, even enjoyable!

But no, every Monday and Wednesday, we load up into the car, which in and of itself is a workout, then drive to the park, tell the one to go find their team, while I wrestle with the other three to stay close by.

And don't go over to the playground because I can't watch them and the game.

Don't pick up other people's trash, like straws and gum, and put it their mouths. Though in both instances, I wasn't always successful.

Don't raid unwatched diaper bags, and drink from open cans of soda left sitting around.

Don't chase after the dogs people are walking through the park.

Watch carefully while they scale the peeling bleachers.

To not run off with kids I don't know who have cool toys.

Run them to potty breaks that they supposedly didn't need to take before we left.

To keep them away from that blasted Snowie stand.

You know what the best part is? We don't do this just once, but TWICE a day since my two oldest kids are on different teams. That's right, rinse, lather, repeat. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Just shoot me now.

And why not just let my kids play T-ball while I go push the other three on swings, you may ask?

Good question.

Besides the obvious that every kid loves to be cheered for and should have their parent whooping and hollering for them, I have other reasons.

Exhibit A: Savannah, the one we did NOT originally plan to put in T-Ball.

She does surprisingly well. She enjoys playing and knows the other kids on her team from church. And whenever she touches home base, she is just down-right euphoric.

On the flip side.

The first time she ever got "out", she balled. She really did. She sobbed on my shoulder and begged to go home.

After I calmed her down and convinced her to stay, she got out again. It was almost too much for her.

At another game, when she was tagged out, I found her on her knees in prayer at the bench, begging for help to run faster.

She really hates to lose.

So, while I did have to send her to a game once without me out of necessity, I want to be there for her when she gets out and cheer for her when she crosses home plate.

Exhibit B: Joseph, the one we thought would LOVE T-Ball.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get him on a team with people he knows. He doesn't do well with the new and unknown.

Still, for how much he loves to play baseball at home, you never would have guessed it watching him play with his team.

He hates playing on the field. I have to stand out there with him or he simply won't go. Which often leads to other little ones running onto the field to get me and disrupting the game.

He does seem to enjoy batting and running, but he really struggles with the down time in between.

He pouts and moans and groans and wanders off most of the time.

Now that there is only one week left of games, he is finally starting to let his coach help him and to play with his teammates. He even made a friend. Go figure.

Everyone seems exhausted and grouchy at the end of every game. And I usually work up a sweat.

T-Ball is kicking my trash.

June 23, 2010

Of bad guys and car seats

I was at my wits end. My four-year old had been pushing all my buttons all day and I finally just couldn't take any more!

So things wouldn't get out of hand, I picked him up and took him to the car where I buckled him into a car seat. I closed the door and walked away so he could scream it out and I could calm down.

After a few minutes, I went back to the garage and climbed into the driver's side so I could turn around and look at him.

We both just kind of looked at each other for a while and I finally started in on my sad speech about how I didn't know what to do with him, how to help him be happy, to listen and obey, be nice to his siblings, etc. etc.

He just sat there with wide eyes and tear streaked cheeks, quietly listening to my speech.

Finally he interrupted me.

Holding up his hand in a manner common for people who are trying to get their point across, and shaking it back and forth, he said the following in about two very solemn breaths:

"Mom. If you wiw not be wude to me, I wiw not be wude to you. That's the deal."

*brief pause*

"If I wiw give you my heart, then you wiw gwow to be this tall (he holds up his hand to a height about the top of his head) a hundwed times tall. Yea, a hundwed times tall. Then you can fight all the bad guys. Betause bad guys are weal, huh mom. And then I wiw fight the bad guys like *POW* and then I will win."

*brief pause*

"Okay, I am happy now. Deal?" He thrusts out his hand toward me "Deal?"

After fighting back my big smile, I solemnly shook his hand and said, "Deal."

June 22, 2010

To my dear Brother-in-Laws

I'm sure you had good intentions and thought you were just teaching my boys how to be men. I suppose it's a natural thing to want to instill such skills in mini male specimens.

And I'm not saying there haven't been many emergencies where I, myself have taken my children, both male and female, to find a nearby tree.

But ever since I left my boys in your care this past weekend, and you showed them how the great outdoors can make a great substitute for a restroom, I've had two public potty nudist shows take place at the park, and one attempt to moisten my entire driveway in the front of our house.

And I'm not sure how many neighbors were out and about.

Next time, please be sure to pass along the rules of engagement for such behavior.

Your favorite sister-in-law,

June 21, 2010

Happy Seven Years!

Thursday afternoon my husband calls me up. "So, what do you think you want to do for our anniversary?"

Me: "Oh man, I don't know. I've been online all day trying to think of something fun and different to do. But I'm pretty much coming up blank."

*eruption of laughter on other end of phone*

Him: What'd you do, google 'What to do for your anniversary'? That's just bad honey. That's worse than me!"

Just so we're clear, I did NOT google that. So there.

So then I asked Mister Wise Guy what his big idea was. Believe it or not, he actually had one!

They had to resuscitate me from shock.

He made some phone calls and convinced his mom and sister-in-law to watch our kids Friday night and all day Saturday. I don't know what he offered them but it must have been something good, because they agreed.

So after work on Friday, we drove down to his parents house and dropped of the kids who happen to absolutely LOVE going there, and then drove up to Jackson Hole, WY.

True to our nature, we hadn't planned a dang thing. We just sort winged it.

Saturday morning, we took the big tram in Teton Village up to the top of Rendezvous Point which sits at 10,450 feet.

Ah look, here we are surrounded by the beauty of the mountain! Oh wait... that's just the tram tower. 

See that ity bity little white peak there behind my head? That's the Grand Teton, which sits at 13, 000 something feet.

 And now that I'm in a picture with it, I'm officially super cool.

Not a bad view! I won't tell you which part of the picture I'm referring to.

Here we are being all romantical, because "romantical" is a cool word.

View of the Snake River. I hate this picture because it makes my thighs look huge. 

So rude.


And by my choice of footwear, it was obvious I had come prepared to trudge through the snow.

When we were done shouting our love from the mountain top, we did something that I've always, always, always wanted to do!

We rode a ski lift! Which, now that's it's summer is called a bike lift. Wahoo!

We rode it twice, because it was free with our tram ticket.

Being all romantical again. Especially since this photo accents my chicken pock scars so well! Looks like I got tasered right in the forehead or something.

Told you I was cool.

Even our feet wanted to be romantical.

As you can see, it was so busy I can't believe we got a seat!

I was trying to squish the little people walking below.

And now you've seen my extra-long toed, size 9.5 to 10, super long feet.

Your life is now complete.

Your welcome.

Next we took a stroll through downtown.

And I tried to swim through the salt water taffy barrels but the store employees didn't appreciate it and kindly asked if I would control myself.

These truffles fascinated me! They looked super cool but I couldn't bring myself to try one.

I think they look like sushi. *shudder*

Okay, and they were a dollar each. We got the ones that were only 75 cents.

Because we're money conscious like that.

I wanted this sign for my kitchen. It says, "Whoa! You missed it!" there is the middle.

But in the end I decided that it would trouble if every time I went to leave my kitchen I encountered this. I would have to turn around and go eat more candy! I'd probably never leave.

I'm sorry, but the Jackalope is kind of cute.

I'm not ashamed to admit it.

After I was almost malled by a bear, we went to this super-mega-ultra cool store that I simply can't remember the name of now. The whole thing was filled with the most amazing "nature art". Meaning, things that have been found in mines, quarries, etc. that have been shaped into these gorgeous art pieces. 

Like petrified wood tables, mammoth tusks, bright blue butterflies arranged in frames, and gems and crystals in all shapes and sizes. I should have taken pictures but I was too busy gawking.

Check out this bad boy.

$145,000! We thought about getting it for out living room, but decided that kids might think it was a big sucker and treat it accordingly.

So we passed.

John Wayne ain't got nothin'!

Happy Seven Year Anniversary to us! I had such a great time!

I'm still working on trying to convince my man there to post on my blog.

I think I'm wearing him down.

Lisa told me once that I have snuffleupagus eyelashes. Maybe I'll try batting them profusely at him.

How could he refuse!
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