How to play with them, how not to play with them. How to feed them, how not to feed them. How to discipline them, how not to discipline them. How to raise them, how not to raise them.
So it is good to know that my children are always doing something highly important, extremely productive, thoroughly creative, and vigorously intelligent.
I'm especially proud of the way my children taught the neighbor kids how to play "Road Kill".
And the importance of learning to speak "Cricket".
I recognize that these are rare, admirable, and highly coveted skills that all parents would wish their kids to possess.
See? I could start up my own advise blog!
Besides, I'm not sure I'm ready to give up my secrets on say... how to blow up kitchenware, or how to back into the garage door while it's still opening. And I know people are dying to know how come my children are so logical, and why they are such profound readers and home decorators.
But these are skills, true talent that I'm just not sure I'm ready to impart with.
I hope you understand.