Fire Breathing Dragon Mommy

image from google

There are a handful of things that bring out the wild-eyed, fire breathing dragon in me.

Potty training is one of them.

Just thinking about it makes smoke come out my nose.

So is liquid splattered across my kitchen. Not a spill, a splatter. There's a huge difference.

I just...  I mean, it's just so... grrrr... it just gets to me, you know?


Well, the other day must of been national Splatter Serene's Kitchen Day, and I just missed the memo.

It all started when I handed Jacob a full cup of juice. But instead of sitting down with it, he decided to take a swig while standing in the bar stool at the counter.

*plunk, splash*

I whirl around to find Jacob crying and mourning the loss of his juice. But seriously, why the heck was he crying? That was my right!

Sticky pink juice was scattered across the legs of all three bar stools, up the wall, across the counter wall, and had stretched it's blasted fingers across my kitchen floor.

Fire-breathing dragon mommy appeared on the scene to handle the clean up.

Later that day, Alayna was eating a bowl of cereal. She decided to pick it up so she could move something that apparently was annoying her from the counter.

In the process she tipped her bowl and poured milk and cereal down onto her seat, which then proceeded to splash it's way down onto the wall, the bar stool legs, and the floor.

Fire-breathing dragon mommy appeared on the scene to handle the clean-up.

Just a few minutes later, I was reaching over the counter to give something else to Alayna when, as I turned away, my elbow hit a cup of milk one of the kids had left there on the edge, and it fell to the floor, splattering all across the floor, up the stove and refrigerator.

Seriously!?

Wild-eyed, fire breathing dragon mommy appeared on the scene to handle the clean-up.

A while later, after yet ANOTHER splatter attack by Jacob's juice AND Alayna's milk, wild-eyed, fire breathing, wet towel flinging, super annoyed and frightfully frustrated me, walked to the the counter, tossed my fifth towel onto it, closed my eyes and sighed heavily. Throwing my head back in exasperation, I swore that if one more kid made one more splatter...

I opened my eyes.

Wait... what the? *blink blink*

Oh. My. Serious?

I then recalled that a couple days earlier, I had been using the blender and decided to toss a handful of ice into it without turning it off first.

I'm usually pretty good at it but that time, I was too slow with the lid and so I had made a big splatter mess across my counters, walls, and cupboards.

Apparently, I missed the ceiling during clean up.

At least my kids aren't that good yet.

Serves the fire breathing dragon right for getting so annoyed at her children. I'm thinking she needs to learn to swallow a glass of ice water whenever smoke starts coming out her nose.