February 28, 2011

Fire Breathing Dragon Mommy

image from google

There are a handful of things that bring out the wild-eyed, fire breathing dragon in me.

Potty training is one of them.

Just thinking about it makes smoke come out my nose.

So is liquid splattered across my kitchen. Not a spill, a splatter. There's a huge difference.

I just...  I mean, it's just so... grrrr... it just gets to me, you know?

Well, the other day must of been national Splatter Serene's Kitchen Day, and I just missed the memo.

It all started when I handed Jacob a full cup of juice. But instead of sitting down with it, he decided to take a swig while standing in the bar stool at the counter.

*plunk, splash*

I whirl around to find Jacob crying and mourning the loss of his juice. But seriously, why the heck was he crying? That was my right!

Sticky pink juice was scattered across the legs of all three bar stools, up the wall, across the counter wall, and had stretched it's blasted fingers across my kitchen floor.

Fire-breathing dragon mommy appeared on the scene to handle the clean up.

Later that day, Alayna was eating a bowl of cereal. She decided to pick it up so she could move something that apparently was annoying her from the counter.

In the process she tipped her bowl and poured milk and cereal down onto her seat, which then proceeded to splash it's way down onto the wall, the bar stool legs, and the floor.

Fire-breathing dragon mommy appeared on the scene to handle the clean-up.

Just a few minutes later, I was reaching over the counter to give something else to Alayna when, as I turned away, my elbow hit a cup of milk one of the kids had left there on the edge, and it fell to the floor, splattering all across the floor, up the stove and refrigerator.


Wild-eyed, fire breathing dragon mommy appeared on the scene to handle the clean-up.

A while later, after yet ANOTHER splatter attack by Jacob's juice AND Alayna's milk, wild-eyed, fire breathing, wet towel flinging, super annoyed and frightfully frustrated me, walked to the the counter, tossed my fifth towel onto it, closed my eyes and sighed heavily. Throwing my head back in exasperation, I swore that if one more kid made one more splatter...

I opened my eyes.

Wait... what the? *blink blink*

Oh. My. Serious?

I then recalled that a couple days earlier, I had been using the blender and decided to toss a handful of ice into it without turning it off first.

I'm usually pretty good at it but that time, I was too slow with the lid and so I had made a big splatter mess across my counters, walls, and cupboards.

Apparently, I missed the ceiling during clean up.

At least my kids aren't that good yet.

Serves the fire breathing dragon right for getting so annoyed at her children. I'm thinking she needs to learn to swallow a glass of ice water whenever smoke starts coming out her nose.

13 super cool people speak:

Sue said...

I am the messiest food preparer ever. Things like this happen to me on a daily basis.

However, like you, I do not like an icky-sticky spill on the floor. And...even as they grew older...even now that they're entirely grown up and not even in residence...it never fails that if the floor is freshly mopped, one of my kids will spill on it.

Fool proof!


Charlotte said...

I think I will never check my ceilings. And there is some rule out there that a newly mopped floor must be spilled on within 30 minutes. (At least you know your kids will be thrilled at the chance to re-mop the floor!)

Patty Ann said...

Oh, Firebreathing Dragon Mommy lives at our house too. I always make the kids clean up their own spills. They don't like it at all, but once they have to do it a few times, they do take things a little easier. Until they are teenagers that is....then they do it on purpose in the name of "fighting" with the siblings. I will never forget the day that I looked up and found perfectly round marks on the ceiling from throwing bologna at each other. I can't in all honesty say that I miss the mess, but I do miss the fun. (I am also very grateful the little girls were not in existance than to learn from the best!)

kdfamily said...

As I read this post, I could feel your pain as if it were my very own. It was almost like it was happening to me and I was re-living one of the days where we think that we can't handle another spill, splatter or accident. I like the end of the post too. At the end of the day when we gather our family in and realize that those spills aren't as bad as we thought (ok, they were bad, but we're over it now)and we are lucky to be mothers, life is good again. Thanks for this post. I'm glad that I'm not the only Mom who transforms into a firebreathing dragon and back again into the mother I want to be.

gigi said...

I am praying for you :)

Here's to Spring coming your way quickly!!!!!

T said...

one huge perk to my Vertigo issues is that I can't look up... ever... so whatever my ceilings look like I just don't care - if they bug other people - other people can clean them. (note to self - watch out when adding foods to blender... or "other people" are going to get annoyed with me)

Garden of Egan said...

That was sorta funny.

I did this with a jar of homemade spaghetti sauce.
Ya, it hit the ceiling.

I think I was the MOTHER of all firebreathing dragon moms that day.

Cute that you were able to take pictures of it!
Next time take a picture of the flames coming out of your nose.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

way to catch yourself...I have had those moments recently where I gave Guy the what for for doing something and I turn around and make the same mistake...figures!

Amy said...

Inhale... exhale...
Days like this merits a big piece of chocolate. Dr. Amy's orders. Or maybe Nurse Suzie :) right?

I hate splatters too. You're right there is a HUGE difference!

Stef said...

Splatter is the worst! But it would be aweful if your two pet peeves came together. Potty training and splatter. Let's just leave that one alone!

Mama Smith said...

I loved this post...I think you built up the ability to extend FIRE...cause you never did it growing up! Hardly a "puff of smoke" would come from your nostrils...(smile)

Larsen said...

Sucks. So sorry!

Ben, Heather and kids said...

i'm trying to get rid of the fire breathing dragon at our house. but she's persistant.

the other day i needed light bulbs, while the isle i was constantly hounding my kids to keep AWAY from the shelves, don't touch, you break a bulb- I'll...
so as we leave the isle, who knocks over a package with her purse. grr

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