I stepped on the scale for the first time in weeks, yesterday morning before church.
This was a serious lapse in judgment on my part.
I stared at the number looking up at me. Surely there must be some mistake! This scale must not be working right! I thought to myself.
Feeling reassured that the scale must be wrong, I got off, then got back on again. Still convinced that something was amiss, I repeated the motion... three more times.
The number stayed horrifyingly the same.
So as I sat in church, munching on my shortbread Sandie cookies, with chocolate and almond bits, I contemplated on a recent experience.
I had decided to do a little maternity clothes shopping and happened to stop in at Motherhood Maternity to check out their clearance racks. (cause I'm just too cheap to buy anything full price there)
After chatting with the sales girl for a minute, I realized that she too was pregnant. We were about the same height, though she was a little taller, and about the same belly size.
She graciously asked how far along I was, which was about 21 weeks or so at the time. I, in turn, asked how far along she was assuming we'd be pretty close.
Eight months! She replied cheerfully.
I stared at her for a long moment and wanted to tell her I would never, ever shop there again since she all but killed off my self-esteem.
Instead I told her we could never be friends.
Jokingly of course... sort of.
So back in church, as I sank my teeth into my tenth cookie, I realized that perhaps my lack of exercise, late-night eating, and never ending sweet tooth just might have something to do with the atrocious weight gain.
However doubtful this may be, since I am inclined just to blame it on my scale, I suppose I have to consider the very remote possibility.
But it's not likely, cause nothing is ever my fault.
Just ask me.
So here I am at 23 weeks.
I purposefully cut my head off this time as I woke to find half my face red, swollen and a bit deformed. Wouldn't surprise me to find out I have yet another infection, this time in my face!
I feel like I must be setting some sort of weird body infection record with this pregnancy.
Cause I'm just cool like that.
P.S. This is not a self-criticism post. It's suppose to be funny and all in good humor!