"Beware of Destination Addiction... a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are." ~Robert Holden
Somewhere along the line I seem to have forgotten how to look at and enjoy the little things, those mere moments that are here and gone in the blink of an eye.
I never wanted to be that frustrated mom. The one who was always overwhelmed, upset, grouchy, and boring.
I am in no way implying that it's not okay to feel that way sometimes. I'm sure we all do.
I just didn't want that to be my state of mind, my life, or the way my children remembered me.
Joseph teaching Savannah how to play chess.
I'm not so sure she's getting it.
I needed to change my attitude.
Easier said then done.
As I've reflected on this change in myself, there are many things I could attribute to it.
But one of the biggest things is simply that I allowed myself to become lazy.
It is easy to know what we should be doing, it's another to actually do them.
Over the last year I began to feel justified somehow in skipping out on the work that needed to be done so I could do something easier or more fun instead.
I am not saying that we need to wear ourselves down or never take time off to relax.
Heaven knows I'm all about a night out, a good book, a fun movie, and a giant bag of chocolate.
But there is a big difference between taking a break and a breather, and simply not doing.
(This is the section where I droned on and on about this topic in great detail, then I deleted it all. You're welcome.)
“Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's a day you've had everything to do and you've done it.” ― Margaret Thatcher
As I have made a bit more effort to just... do and be, the atmosphere in our home has shifted a bit.
But this time for the better.
Possibly in part because I am feeling better about me.
Claira making her first peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She wouldn't let me help.
Jelly everywhere people. Seriously, E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. But she was so proud.
We woke up this morning to snow.
Jackson was fascinated by it.
Even though we were dealing with the craziness of the morning and trying to get Alayna and Jacob ready for school, I took him out into it and he was down-right enthralled.
I may despise the icky white stuff, but he was loving it!
After a while I took him back into the house where he instantly demanded to be taken back out again.
It was only then I remembered to try and capture the moment.
I told Savannah to grab the camera and snap a few shots of Jackson despite the fact that I had serious bed head and bad slept in make-up going on.
I may have missed out on the original smiles, but not his fascination.
I want to be like Jackson when I grow up and find joy in all the little things.
"Happiness is not a destination, it is a journey."