October 23, 2016

A Glimpse of Life through Facebook

Since I dropped from the blogging world, I have missed documenting the quirky, messy, awesome, hard, fabulous everyday life moments. 

I'm also not super active on social media other than to either like people's posts or ignore political rants.

But since there is a solid year+ missing from this blog, I thought I'd skim through my Facebook feed and collect just a few memories that I had posted, all the way back to June of 2015 when I had last blogged.

Well, until recently. Obviously. 

And I'm sorry, but they go from newest to oldest and I'm too lazy to go and switch them all around. 

So think backwards and you'll be just fine.


It is remarkably painful to allow my kids to load the dishwasher how they want when they're doing the dishes. 

This is something no one ever tells you about parenting. I feel like there should be a support group for this.


When your daughter begs you to perform reconstructive surgery. 

On a loofah. 


Sometimes my kids leave me speechless.


Truth: I am currently sitting inside my dirty laundry basket in my closet, hiding from my screaming kids. 

Don't tell anyone.


That moment when your two-year old starts singing "whip nae nae" and you wonder when you lost control of your parenting.


Father's Day Gift!


Pizza at the Park


While sitting through Savannah's graduation ceremony tonight, a grouchy Claira tries to climb over Hubby's legs. She trips, knocking Jackson's OPEN water bottle out of his hands and It lands RIGHT between my legs. 

Oh, in the meantime, unbeknownst to me, Jackson had dropped his chocolate cookie between our bodies, successfully melting his cookie all over my shirt.

The parenting struggle is real. So are the looks people give you when it legitimately looks like you peed your pants and spilled chocolate all over yourself. #parentingrocks #kidsarethebest


SOOOOO proud of this amazing daughter of mine. She was nominated to receive the Hope of America award at school. Love her so much. I can't believe I'll have a middle schooler! Gah!


He's had a long, long, *deep breath* looooong day of tantrum throwing. Being a toddler is hard work! 


I made rolls today. 

Kids: Are the missionaries coming over? Who are we feeding? Who are you taking them too?

Me: I just made them for us for dinner.

Kids: Really?? You never do that.

Hubby walks in the door: Wow, what got into you today? 

For the love! I get it already!


Good to see my daughter is taking her Florence Nightingale project so seriously. Haha! 


Savannah's joke at the dinner table: "I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later so I can mullet over."

This sparked a very intense discussion about mullets. Now all my kids are daring each other to get one. So if you spot any of my kids sporting the look, just know I did NOT condone it.


Jacob: Mom? Next year for fourth grade, can I be homeschooled and learn... *sweeps hand through air* the ninja arts? They have to be really smart so I would still learn math and science, but then YOU could teach me several languages! And I can study sword fighting and how to use nunchucks.

Me:....... I barely speak english.


My daughter made me a chore chart. Still trying to decide if this is a good or bad indication of my life. 


Family Night Smoothies!


*clears throat, taps mic*

Happy Easter from this worst-mom-ever who didn't do a dang thing this year. Not even candy.

I know. I know. *hangs head in shame*

WAIT! Not true. We busted out the sparkling cider. There was enough for everyone to have a small cup. 

So yay! There's that. 


At my niece's baptism in Utah we start singing the third verse to "I am a Child of God."

Claira (age 4) gives an exasperated huff as she throws up her hands. "How many childs of God are there!?"


11-year old daughter: I've had too much fudge in my life.

Me: Where did I go wrong with you?

It's been a while since we've had an evening like this.  


Hubby on the phone in the background: Thanks, president.

Jacob (age 8): Mom? Is dad talking to Barak Obama?

Me: *laughing* What?

Jacob: Well, he said "president".

Me: Um, no.

Jacob: Oh........ Thomas S. Monson?


When the older kids help Jack-Jack get ready for the day.


That phone call you get from the school counselor because your boys got into a fight with each other. 

Over a book. #addictedtoreadingproblems


When you're low on groceries....


In case you didn't know, dragons read. And eat apples, core and all.


Jackson (age two): *turns on daddy's electric razor*

Claira (age four): Mommy! Jackson turned on the shaver and he's shaving his cheeks! And his other parts!

Me: *watching him "shave" his "other parts" (chin), and laughing*

Claira: Jackson, that will shave your skin right off! Put it away before your face is gone! It will kill you!


My children have failed to grasp the concept of winter, and are insistant that they save some of it to "eat later".


Your two-year old might be OCD if: You line up all of his tractors only to have him scream, storm over, and turn around specific ones so they face the other direction, then holds up a hand to you and scowls so you won't touch them.


I didn't get a group picture of all the kids this Halloween. But here is one of Savannah.


Actual Dinner Table Conversation: 

Hubby: What is mom's super hero name?

Jacob: Umm.... Thunder Thighs!


Hubby: Jacob, I don't think that means what you think it means.


Family Night. (featuring Jacob, and his arm muscle wanna-be)


"Macarena" came on the radio and I shamelessly started car-dancing the moves. 

Then I glanced over to Savannah. 

She had the most terrified look on her face....


Hubby to Savannah. "Hey there, trouble."

Savannah: "I'm not trouble. I was born from the womb of trouble!"

Hubby: "Hahahaha!"

Savannah: "Wait, that doesn't make any sense."

Hubby still laughing. "No, that makes perfect sense."


Jackson (21 months) Emama! *points to plate of watermelon*

Me: *holds up small piece*

Jackson: No! *scowls and points to watermelon*

Me: *holds up bigger piece*

Jackson: NO! *scowls deeper and points to watermelon*

Me: *holds up biggest piece*

Jackson: *huge smile, smug chuckle, takes piece and with hand on hip, walks off to show the other kids his watermelon*


Jacob to me: Mom, you could totally be a supermodel if you didn't love pizza so much.

Me to Jacob: ...................................................................

How my kids spent their afternoon. Taking turns tying each other to a chair, then having to escape the chair.  


You might be a mom when: you scarf down food with one hand while simultaneously feeding someone with the other who has recently decided only mom can feed him. And you're glad you didn't bother to remove your apron. And you're the last two eating at the table.


Me: "Claira, you can't eat dinner with us until you stop screaming and speaking rudely."

Claira: "If you don't let me eat, then I will die! *folds arms, raises eyebrows* I will tell Jesus on you."

Four-year olds are so... fun.


What happens when your toddler won't let you finish mowing the LAST BIT of yard in peace...

You turn into a lawn ninja.


That moment when the tooth fairy realizes she's getting old by the way her knees are popping so loudly when she tries to "sneak" into the child's room, that the the child wakes up.


There are days when getting the kids ready to go somewhere is as easy as wrestling a gator with one hand tied behind my back, while blindfolded, while a pack of angry monkeys are throwing bananas at me... while going down Niagara Falls... in a tea cup.

Just saying'.


My favorite picture from Independence Day weekend. 


Jacob just brought me my eighth pink otter pop without being asked. I have trained him well. 


Haha! This face.  Frozen blueberries. Yum!  (At least it's not a marker this time!)


That moment when your 19-month old is playfully feeding you watermelon while you read... until you realize the piece you just accepted from his chubby fingers and popped into your mouth was the same one that had been in his mouth moments earlier.

Because it's warm and tastes like ketchup.


Savannah walks into the laundry room and points to the air freshener up on the shelf. 

"Can I borrow that, mom? Jacob's toots could scare away the devil himself."


And there you have a few Facebook-worthy moments from our lives.


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