June 8, 2014

Dear Hubby - 2

Oh Hubby *throwing self on couch, dramatically flinging arm over face* what a week!

I've decided you can't travel anymore. I never make it to bed at a decent hour when you're gone.

Just the other night I stayed up until 2am watching cheesy Christmas movies.

For no good reason!

*hauling self off couch to pull chocolate chips out of the pantry*

There are so many of the little day to day things I wanted to tell you about, but when my dad ended up in the hospital with a very serious case of acute pneumonia, I got distracted with all the things involved in that situation.

(I'll write more about that later.)

For this letter, I wanted to fill you in on a few things about the kids from this week.

*pouring a third of the bag into a bowl, then flopping like a fish rather ungracefully back onto the couch* 

For starters, school is over!

No more school lunches! Wahoooooooooooo!

*doing a happy dance that only involves arms so as not to upset the bowl of chocolate chips on my lap*

I despise making school lunches.

I have no logical explanation. I just do.

Thursday was the last day. I practically had to drag the boys from their beds like sacks of potatoes the last two days of school because they were so tired they didn't want to get up.

Then Friday and Saturday, they were up at an atrociously early hour begging to play on the kindle or to watch a movie.

The universe hates me.

I've decided that I'm going to set up some summer rules such as: no TV before 1:00pm, and have a small set of daily chores for them to complete.

I don't have any ulterior motive for doing this outside of hoping it will dissuade them from waking up before 6:30am.

On rare occasions such as this, my true genius shines forth.

But as you know, the boys received "perfect attendance metals" on the last day of school. So they were pretty excited about that.

Honestly though, I should have gotten the medal.

I mean come one now, let's give credit where credit is due! Am I right, or am I right?

Ah well, I shall reward myself with another chocolate chip.... or twelve.

Oh, on a different note, I wish you could have been here the other night, when the kids found an old stack of "Highlights" magazines.

Apparently there is a riddle section in each one because they were all reading each other jokes.

It was hysterical. One would read a riddle, the others would try to answer, then the answer would be given and they would all bust out laughing.

In that order.

Riddle, answer, hysterical laughter.

Riddle, answer, hysterical laughter.

Riddle, answer, hysterical laughter.

This went on for a while until this joke was read.

Q: Who un-invented airplanes? 

A: The wrong brothers.

*confused silence, blank stares, crickets chirping*

Savannah finally solemnly stated, "I don't get it."

It was my turn to laugh hysterically.

Same with the this one:

Q. Why do cowboys die with their boots on?

A: So they can kick the bucket.

A long confused silence followed that one.

Haha, it was great.

In my defense, Claira asked me to take her picture so she could see how dirty she was.

Oh, here's something else you'll get a kick out of.

Friday night it was Claira's turn to pray. I just want you to know, it was the longest prayer given by a three year old in history.

You have no idea how much I am not exaggerating.

You know how she still talks. When she has something long to say or is unsure how to say it sll, she goes, "ehhhehhhehhhehehhh" before ending with two to three words.

Now imagine for a moment, a twenty minute prayer going on like that.

"Ehhhehhhehhhehehhh wuv each uder"

"Ehhhehhhehhhehehhh baby Jackson head"

"Ehhhehhhehhhehehhh ganny eh papa in hospital"

But then it started getting... interesting.

"Ehhhehhhehhhehehhh eat burday cake"

"Ehhhehhhehhhehehhh go to the pawrk"

I opened my eyes to see if she was goofing off. But her eyes were closed, her head was bowed, and she was being perfectly serious.

I tried to help her end the prayer a few times, but she would only whisper, "No mommy! Not yet!" and just keep on going.

But it all went down hill after this one.

"Ehhhehhhehhhehehhh poop in da toilet"

I admit it, I'm the guilty one who started laughing first. I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. She was being to serious!

That's when she opened her eyes, glared at me, clenched her teeth and harshly whispered, "Don't waff mommy!"

I'm a little ashamed to admit that that only made it worse.

The entire family was just in tears from all the laughing.

Ah well, at least that night ended with everyone in good moods.

You'll be happy to know that I finally mowed down the jungle we call a lawn. Our house seemed to be the only one whose grass was almost tall enough to make a maze with . So Saturday night I did the whole front first in case I ran out of time and couldn't finish the back.

But I did. At 9:30pm... in the dark.

I was waiting for an angry neighbor to start throwing rocks at me or something. It took a little longer there at the end because I had to run in and out of the house to help with the kid's baths and showers.

Muti-tasking at it's finest.

You're welcome.

We even survived church fairly well. It went far better than I imagined it might.

That calls for another bowl of chocolate chips!

Well, I better get to bed before midnight tonight so I can get up and remember to take Alayna to her first t-ball game in the morning.

I wouldn't want to forget it the way I did her last practice.

Epic fail.

Dang. I don't deserve another bowl of chocolate chips after all.

Well, take care and hopefully we get another chance to chat soon.


3 super cool people speak:

Mama Smith said...

After my first good night sleep in days...(well, mostly) this is one of the first things I read...and it certainly is starting it out RIGHT...I had to chuckle all the way through it! HUMOR will get us through ANYTHING, right? If not quite all the way through, then, we can always add a bag of chocolates...and we KNOW...it will definitely...finish the job....smile LOVED IT! (that picture of Jackson on the trampoline...PRICELESS!) smiling just thinking about it!

Raelyn said...

Oh my gosh!! I hope your Dad is alright!! As a survivor of pneumonia, I can personally say this from experience. It is a nasty illness!! ;)
"Q: Who un-invented airplanes? A: The wrong brothers." Crack. Me. Up!! ;-D
I love, love, love the story about Clara's prayer!! As a "published" children's book writer, I spend lots of time describing things. I have twain words for this story. "Too cute"!! ;)
Love you later, Raelyn

Sarah said...

These letters made me laugh and laugh, and then wonder, WHERE HAVE I BEEN? We need to talk!!!
You're the Best, Serene!

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