March 29, 2013
Once upon a time, back when I use to have an amazingly awesome and funny blog... at least in my happy place I liked to imagine it was so.
And because my invisible friend assured me that it was.
Anyway, I blogged almost every day.
Totally crazy right?
But I use to write down funny things my kids had said or done, otherwise I'd forget.
As I was going through my junk drawer... I mean *clearing throat" my assorted drawer of miscellaneous papers, I discovered something I had written down and completely forgot about.
It was like finding buried treasure.
Hubby is asleep on the couch while Jacob and I converse in the kitchen.
Jacob looks up at me and asks:
How can I wake up daddy?
I quickly respond:
Well, I don't think you should try right now.
But Jacob doesn't seem to hear me as he is looking extremely thoughtful before stating:
I bet a ham will wake him up!
Or a violin.
No, that won't work, that will just put him back to sleep.
Oh! I bet a whack on the head will wake him up!
A really hard one........
No more Batman for this kid.
March 25, 2013
Today is the first day of Spring Break.
And while having all five of my amazingly fantastic and funny children home all day can be down-right fall-asleep-while-folding-laundry exhausting, and I can erupt into a steaming twitchy maniac at the drop of the third full cup of juice, it is also great and fabulous.
I actually love having all my children home together.
Now, don't look at me like that!
My kids have already done several jobs this morning to earn their movie and game time.
Pish, I also didn't let the boys eat candy for breakfast when they begged. So there.
However the question reminded me I had some chocolate stashed away in my church bag.... Sure it was only 9am but dang-it-all, they were sooooo yummy!
Besides, it's still about 20 degrees outside. I'm looking forward to the warmer weather coming later this week so they can run wild at free at the park!
And I'm wearing flip flops all week.
Anyhow, while my kids have been good sports so far about doing chores, I really need to do some of my own.
Now now, let a girl explain herself!
A couple weeks ago I posted pictures of a some fabric scarves I had made and put them up for sale onto a craft website.
Little did I know that it would result in 42 more orders.
Sure it's awesome! But with that many to make, I moved my craft station temporarily upstairs so I could keep an eye on everything while making them.
So our kitchen has looked like an awesome disaster for over a week now.
It's driving Hubby to drink.... lots of chocolate milk.
He's been a surprisingly good sport about it, though he is quite ready for our kitchen to be a kitchen again.
And despite my best intentions to have everything upstairs so I could keep track of the kids, it took Jacob and Alayna less than ten minutes to destroy the downstairs.
The best laid plans... HA!
March 22, 2013
Me in horrified shock: "Jacob! What in the world are you doing?"
Jacob looking at me as though I had just sprouted horns: "Uh, having a picnic, obviously."
Me trying to decide whether or not to leave them be and enjoy their disastrous creativity that they were clearly enjoying, or to enforce the "no food out of the kitchen" rule and make them clean it all up right then and there: *heavy silence... utter defeat* "Fine, but no more! Please!"
Jacob, seeing that he would live to make a mess another day, happily turns back to shoveling food into his mouth: "Here Claira, try crackers on your bread!"
Ten minutes later...
Jacob obviously bored with his picnic: "Mom? Can I play on the kindle?"
I look over into the living room: "Sure, after you clean up your gigantic picnic mess."
Jacob also looks into the living room, then back at me with incredulousness written all over his features, and in total seriousness asks:
March 21, 2013
They're going through a phase right now.
When these two aren't pummeling each other... lovingly, of course, *cough* they're on a hysterical laughing kick.
The other day at the dinner table, the boys kept goofing off and showed no interest in eating, just pushing and poking each other while laughing hysterically.
I was waiting for a cup of juice or a plate of food to get knocked to the floor and suddenly wished I hadn't bothered to sweep it.
Both Hubby and I asked them to calm down but to no avail, they were too busy laughing at each other to pay us any attention. They were starting to get rather wild.
We finally busted out the word "consequence" and said if they didn't settle down and eat, they'd be getting some.
A slight pause, more hysterical laughing.
Fine. No treats after dinner.
A pause, some whining... more hysterical laughter.
Fine, then no game time on the kindle tomorrow.
A pause, some intense whining and crying... more hysterical laughing.
Fine, you guys can clean the bathrooms, the basement, and fold all the laundry!
Weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth... more hysterical laughing.
Everything we said was met with hysterical laughter and accompanied by the simple explanation from them that, "We just can't stop laughing!"
I'm already seeing their teenage-hood flash before my eyes....
Then there was bedtime the very next night.
Just use your imagination. I'm sure you can figure out what happened.
Maybe it's the hair.
March 19, 2013
While I don't believe in going all wild and crazy for every holiday, (it would just make me more wild and crazy than I already am) I do try to do a little something with my kids.
Generally for St. Patrick's Day, we make leprechaun traps.
Aaaaaaaaaaand............ that's about it.
I don't even wear green.
But this year, we didn't get around to it, even though I had already bought chocolate for it.
Pish, of course I bought chocolate! Oh ye of little faith.
Savannah was a little bummed we didn't make traps. But don't worry, it all worked out in the end.
The kids down-right loved it.
Sometimes my brilliance amazes me.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's all about the candy.
KEEPING IT REAL
Not long after discovering the note, a huge fight broke out over the chocolate coins... before 7:30am. It was so bad that I took them all away, laid down the rule that no friends were allowed over, and we were going to spend the entire afternoon cleaning the house.
I am proud to say that I followed through with that. The kids did earn a chocolate gold coin at the end of every room cleaned.
Now my house it SO much cleaner than it had been, the chocolate is almost gone, and the kids had a good afternoon.
Score one for Mom.
I get an extra chocolate for that.
March 18, 2013
As I was trying to find Joseph's newborn pictures, I discovered that there really aren't that many! While I was sad that we didn't have more of Joseph in all his fuzzy newborn glory, I was also feeling selfishly relieved because what few photos there are of me post delivery, are not pretty.
I looked like Violet who had just reached the blueberry pie dessert portion of Willy Wonka's three course meal gum. Well, minus the blue color.
And that's just a kind description.
Anyway, enough about me, let's talk about
When I took cupcakes over to the school on his birthday, he was wearing this birthday crown. He loved it so much and wore it every chance he got for three or four days straight. He would fly into a tizzy any time anyone else dare to even look at it, let alone try it on.
Hubby and I took him out on a special birthday date. When asked where he wanted to go for a treat, his response was shouted with lots of enthusiasm.
That boy has good taste. He totally gets it from me.
Wowza, I was a lucky girl getting to go out on the town with these two good looking fellows.
Joseph thought he was so funny giving daddy bunny ears, though you can barely see them, and you can't see them at all on me!
He gave it his best shot though.
Once we got our order, Joseph apparently decided he was going to see if he could blow bubbles in his smoothie.
Next thing I know, the lid had exploded off the cup and half his smoothie covered his shirt, coat, and was splattered all of the floor.
He made such a mess.
Totally gets it from me.
Jamba Juice was nice enough to give him a new smoothie.
An even bigger one too. Lucky guy.
So with his shirt and coat sopping wet, we made our way over to the store to let Joseph pick out a birthday present.
I admit, it was so fun watching him oogle over all the toys and as we went isle by isle checking out every option to see what he wanted the most.
Naturally he settled on something much too expensive.
But we were able to talk him down to a compromise.
The next day, these three musketeers put their heads together and worked on Joseph's new legos for hours until they had them all put together.
It was most fascinating to me to watch them work so hard together without fighting!
I'm half tempted to buy more legos, just to see it again.
When I asked Joseph what kind on cake he wanted, I almost kissed him out of relief when he settled on a simple football cake.
Deep down, he must really love me.
The kids chowed down with much eagerness... except poor little Claira.
She was denied cake and ice cream since she refused to eat even a single bite of her dinner.
It did NOT go over very well.
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March 13, 2013
Upon hearing an angry or pain-induced ear splitting scream, it is usually followed by one of two sound groups.
a) more ear splitting screams, growling, and thumping noises as the two go at it like bats out of h... well, you know.
b) lots of shushing and "I'm sorry, I'm sorrys", followed by promises of sugary or intrinsic gifts if they will "not tell mom" and "stop crying".
And occasionally, something else entirely happens.
I walked in upon this the other day.
I asked Jacob what in the world was going on. He explained that Alayna had accidentally hurt Claira so they were trying to make her feel better.
Clearly it was working.
As she sat there in all her cushioned glory, Jacob and Alayna kept faithfully bringing her toys, books, and snacks.
And she milked it for all it was worth. She's a smart cookie.
Totally gets it from me.
Man, I'm feeling a little jealous! After all I endured to bring them into the world, don't you think I deserve a turn on the couch surrounded by comforts while the kids bring me books and snacks?
Ah well. Guess I can always live the life vicariously.
Thanks to all you who have joined me on Facebook! We're having a blast!
March 11, 2013
You know how it is.
You walk into the store for one thing. ONE THING! Well, two counting the chocolate bar you plan to snag off the rack while standing in the check out isle.
Am I the only one who unsuccessfully tries to look inconspicuous when they do that? I can't seem to help myself. Especially if it's only 9:00 in the morning. It's like I don't want the all the other people standing in line (who I'll never ever see again) to know it's not the first chocolate I've had that morning.
As if they would know.
Must be the guilty conscience.
But I digress.
So you go to the store for one thing! Next thing you know you're walking out with ten items you hadn't planned on getting and forget the one thing you went to buy in the first place!
So been there, so done that.
In this case it was a large box of sidewalk chalk this last Saturday afternoon that distracted me from the reason I had gone to the store in the first place.
It was beautiful, just sitting there calling my name, demanding me to acknowledge that spring is coming. And yet, I hesitated. I've lived out here in the west long enough to see SNOW IN FRIGGIN' JUNE!
*clearing throat* Said in the most ladylike manner of course.
And so yes, I hesitated. My hand hovered over the box handle that was just begging to be grabbed. We stared at each other for what must have been at least four minutes. Even I will admit it was awkward.
Then, I caved. I hurriedly snatched the box, tossed it into the cart, and took off speed walking down the rest of the isle and avoided making eye contact with all the fancy bubble blowers before they took it as an invitation to jump into my cart too.
Then yesterday after church, Alayna begged me to let her play with the chalk. It was windy, and still pretty dang chilly, but the sun was shining and demanding to be noticed.
So out we went.
Oh my... I just LOVE these ridiculously adorable monster monkeys!! Ahhhhhhh...... so cute!! Love 'em!
Except at 2:00 am.
But other than that, I love 'em!
I adore watching my kids play. As difficult as motherhood is, and despite the fact that but the end of the day there's a good chance I'll be a bit singed around the edges, perhaps even some smoke coming out my ears. But I sure do love watching these guys play together.
They make me happy.
And maybe I was just in a good mood from watching, "The Sound of Music". *sigh* They just don't make good movies like that anymore.
I was having the strangest urge to break out into song and dance.
Thankfully Savannah distracted me before I could totally embarrass myself by doing those very things outside in the driveway instead of in the safety of the kitchen while making dinner.
What? I'm not ashamed.
Naturally Savannah made a hopscotch game.
And this was her motto.
Probably because she made a 38-hop long game. I'm pretty sure I pulled something while I was attempting to completed the weird maze of oddly-shaped hopscotch... not squares. Hopscotch spaces... areas?
Oh whatever, you know what I mean.
All in all, it was a pretty good Sunday afternoon.
Come on spring, don't let me down!
March 10, 2013
I really hope you can understand and not be too upset, but this relationship isn't working. Truth be told, I just don't like what we do together when we hang out. Every single day it's the same thing. You want me with you, not to relax and hang out, but to work! Always cooking and cleaning, cooking and cleaning. Who do you think I am!? Serenederella?
I even try new recipes with you, all the time! Just to keep things exciting and fresh. But do you appreciate my efforts? NO! You just bring along all your dish friends. I mean, I have nothing against dishes in general, but the ones you spend time with are always get so dirty and smelly! AND THEY NEVER E-HEH-HEH-HEEEEND!
*deep intake of breath* Look, I just need some space, okay? Maybe once you mature and become like the Jetsens kitchen, we can get back together.
Deep down, just know that it's not you, it's me.
P.S. Here is a photo for you to hang onto your wall for inspiration. I have high hopes for you my friend.
I envy those women who find great joy in cooking. I really do.
And it's not even that I really dislike cooking itself, it's mostly the mess cooking creates! And actually starting is hardest part.
Anyway, here are a few Pinterest recipes we've tried here at our house.
Click on the titles to be taken to the recipe. Enjoy!
Baked Creamy Chicken Taquitos
Okay, so this first one isn't a recipe I found on pinterest. In truth, I've been using this recipe for a really long time now. I LOVE it! I know it has become rather famous so I'm sure many of you have seen it. But if for some reason you've missed out on this plate of joyful yumminess, I suggest you give it a try.
NOTE: If I'm in a hurry... okay, let's be honest. If I'm in a lazy mood or if we're running low on chicken (which I didn't feel like cooking anyway) I'll use a can of refried beans instead of the chicken, keeping all the other ingredients the same, and make burritos. YUM!!
Taste: 5 out of 5 stars
Ease: 4 out of 5 stars
Time: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Penne Pasta with Sun-Dried Tomato Cream Sauce
While the creamy sauce was pretty darn delish, (very restaurant tasting) neither the Hubby nor the kids liked the sun-dried tomatoes. You'd like I had put fish eyes in it they way they carried on and on about the evils of having to be my children and eat their dinner. *insert eye roll*
Would I make this again, yes.... minus the tomatoes.
Taste: 4 out of 5 stars
Ease: 5 out of 5 stars
Time: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Broccoli Cheese Soup
Yes, another soup recipe. I've discovered that as long as cheese is involved, my kids will likely eat it.
So it was with this soup. After the big hit the Cheeseburger Soup was, I was curious to see how the broccoli cheese soup would do.
To my exceedingly overabundant relief, most of the kids liked this soup and ate with without too much complaining! And no canned soups at all in this recipe so it's very healthy too!
Hubby did claim that it had a weird after-taste so he thought it was a store-bought mix. But I liked it just fine.
Taste: 4 out of 5 stars
Ease: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Time: 3 out of 5 stars
Oreo Cheesecake Cookies
Do you think it's a bit... ironic that some cookie recipes require you to buy and smash other cookies, just so you can make a different kind of cookie?
Hmmm... cookie for thought.
Anyway, I was finally able to but the brakes on my chocoholicism long enough to refrain from drowning all the oreos in milk before they made it into this other cookie recipe.
Not bad! I was going to give them four stars but my sister-in-law said she's give them five. Lucky girl, she was here when I made them. So I shared.
I've come a long way.
Taste: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Ease: 4 out of 5 stars
Time: 3 out of 5 stars
What recipes have your tried recently?
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March 6, 2013
Once upon a time, I use to tell some pretty dang awesome bedtime stories to my children.
That's right. Not awesome, day-ang awesome.
Just so we're clear.
Like my best-seller, "The Princess and the Troll Part 1 and Part 2." Never mind that I haven't told a story that
They were full blown masterpieces! Not to be confused with the questionable ones Hubby comes up with.
Like this one about a frog getting squished and eaten. Never mind that clearly his was the favorite story among you adults.
But I have discovered something about myself. Much like Cinderella, (minus the blond hair, poofy dress, glass slippers, sweet personality, and the fairy godmother of course) once the clock strikes 8:00pm I under-go a transformation.
Where once there stood a decent human being and loving mother, there appears a wild-eyed, fire-breathing, snarling she-wolf.
*sigh* Well, since I've already divulged this much, I might as well confess the rest.
I'm a werewolf.
There, I said it! So don't judge. If you can love Jacob Black just because of his abs, you can love me for my simple desire to have abs at all.
So, those last few minutes before 8:00pm are vital. I tuck my beautiful children into bed and tell them I love them and that if they come out of their rooms for any reason before the sun rises I'm going to......... eh hem. Sorry. I forgot people actually read this blog from time to time. *clearing throat*
But as I start to close the door, inevitably someone will call out, "Story, mom! Story!"
If there is still time before 8:00pm, I can manage to come up with a somewhat decent story like this one from the other night:
"Once upon a time there was a little piggy who had a curly tail but that didn't matter to him because he wanted to fly. So he went to the witch and asked her to give him wings so he could fly, so the witch turned him into a butterfly. Then he got caught in a spiders web.
Story telling at its finest right there. *insert eye roll*
But if it's after 8:00pm and I've already undergone my transformation, I find myself telling stories like this:
(to be said as a run-on sentence with not stops or breaths) "Once upon a time there were two little boys who wouldn't go to sleep so the aliens came and beamed them up to their ship and made them slaves forever!
I tend to think my work then is done until I hear, "Mom, what does "beamed" mean?"
They should know better than to mess with a werewolf like that.
Hubby and I make quite a pair. He tells bedtime stories like that too, all the time. The weirdest part is that sometimes, I swear the kids love it! Their giggling in the covers totally gives it away.
And other times as I close the door to their rooms, I can hear my children thinking, "Mom needs help."
I feel the love.
What is bedtime like for you?
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March 4, 2013
Sometimes I can't help but wonder...
just how much backwash from the kids I unknowingly consume on a daily basis.
Do you think they blew bubbles in it too?