March 28, 2012

Little Mermaid

That's four times now that this little one has managed to help herself into the bathtub when she was already dressed and ready for the day. Little stinker. I think she wants to be a mermaid.

Still, if you only knew what happened around here in the space of a mere hour yesterday morning, this picture might not be so cute. 

Just... take my word for it. *eye twitch... twitch... twitch....* I don't want to think about it.

Now, I'm off to pack for our family trip! *squeeeeee*

Warmer weather, here we come! My flip flops are so excited I can't even keep them off my feet.

March 26, 2012

Bikini Bread and Scrambled Eggs

Last night, Hubby and I were discussing what our meal plan is going to be for our family trip. Since Jacob had taken a three-hour nap after we got home from church, he was the only child still awake.

I was brainstorming out loud some easy homemade snacks, and I said,

"So Jacob, what would you like better? Homemade rolls, or zucchini bread?"

Jacob: "Uhh... homemade wolves!"

Me: "Haha, no not wolves,  R.O.L.L.S."

Jacob: "Oh. Then I want.... bikini bread!"

Maybe I was just slap happy but I was laughing so hard. Hubby just kind of smiled, clearly not finding it quite as amusing as I did.

Reminds of me of a few days ago when he-who-shall-not-be-named passed gas in the kitchen. Just moments later Jacob walked in, got the most disgusted look on his face and exclaimed, "Ugh! It smells like scrambled eggs in here!"

I'm sure he had meant "rotten eggs" but the mix-up of phrasing had Hubby laughing so hard he was doubled over with tears streaming down his face. I don't think he breathed normally for half an hour because every time he thought of it, he burst into hard laughter all over again.

I thought it was funny, but not that funny.

Still, it has become a new phrase in our house because Hubby just can't let it go.

I try to teach my boys.... ALL my boys, manners but sometimes *shrug*, what can you do.

March 23, 2012

Five Things Every Stranger Should Know Before Speaking to Me

Dear Stranger,

I recognize that it is human nature to pass judgement upon first impression. I really do. We are all guilty of, at one time or another, jumping to an inaccurate and on occasion, unkind conclusion about someone without knowing them at all.

But I hope you'll forgive me when I point out that my life is none of your business. So please don't feel like you have a say about it, even if in some strange way you think you are helping. And I state that not in anger, but simply... saying. 

So before you say anything to me about my children, there are a few things you should know.

1. Please don't insult me or my children by asking them if I plan on having anymore kids. It is not a topic my husband and I discuss with them. Although since for some reason you must think we do or should, I would like to know just how you asked your toddlers to decide for you how many more children you can have.

2. Really? Wow. Not that you deserve a response on this one, but yes, I do know how "all this happens". By "all this" I assume you mean creating these small human beings with their own independent thoughts and feelings that will some day grow up lead their own lives and have an impact on society? And no, I don't want reading material about it. My husband and I are quite good at what we do and we rather enjoy it.

But next time, just for kicks and giggles, I may just say no, and then ask you to explain it to me.

3. Don't ask about how I'm going to afford to send all my children to college. It's called earning, saving, budgeting, and hard work. Then teaching my children how to do all that too.

I have some uh, reading material about what all that is, if you would like it.

4. Yes, my "hands are full", and yes of course I'm busy. A parent with one child has their hands full too. And I have a number of amazingly awesome and incredible friends and family members who'd give up a kidney to have their "hands full".

Now, I totally understand that the "full hands" comment it sort of the universal saying when you can't think of anything else, and I don't fault you for it. But maybe you could come up with something original like, "Those are some wickedly awesome Superwoman skills and I think it's fan-tabulous that you have your own Superhero Squad!"

We'd be best friends forever.

Besides, I like having full hands, especially when they're full of wiggly, giggly, cuteness.

5. If all else fails, just smile and tell me how cute my kids are.

If none of them have their hair combed, tell me you love the way it sticks out in a big poof-ball.
If they dressed themselves and are wearing a striped shirt with plaid shorts and knee-high florescent socks, tell them how totally cool their socks are.
If one... or all of them, is screaming and hitting a sibling, smile and tell me you have days when you feel like doing that too.

Because at the end of the day, none of us are perfect and I personally don't need strangers to try and make me feel guilty for not being a better parent.

Especially because I suspect that they aren't so perfect themselves.

The only thing that you need to know about me is that, I love my family.

I feel I should add that this post was written in good humor and is in no way meant to make anyone feel bad. I just secretly want everyone to call us "The Superhero Squad".

Because THAT, would be awesome.

The End

March 21, 2012

Alayna Gets Mad at Diego

Catching Snowflakes

I confess, I find the Dora and Diego kid shows to be highly annoying. I won't say anything else about that in case you happen to love them, and giddily sit down with your child to learn spanish... or something, and clap your hand to all the *shudder* songs.

It's okay. You're secret is safe with me.

Despite the fact that the Dora and Diego characters supposedly try to involve the watchers by asking them questions and giving them instructions on how they can help, none of my children have ever spoken back to the fictional characters before.... until Alayna.

Yesterday after chores were done, Alayna was watching her new favorite show - Diego. *cringe*

At one point during the show, Diego says, "Everybody stand up!"

Alayna stands up excitedly and says, "I am!"

Diego continues, "Stand up, stand up... Alayna interrupts and says clearly annoyed, "I said.... I. AM!"

Diego, "...stand up!!"  Alayna, "Grrrr...... I am already-YA!" *humph* She then folds her arms across her chest, pulls her face in a huge frown, spins on her heel and starts to stomp away.

Then Diego bursts into song and Alayna comes running back to participate.

*awkward silence*

 Should I be worried?

March 19, 2012

Little Green Men

I try, you know? I really do try.

But Friday night at our house was the epitome of Bad Mood Invasion. 

Everyone was cranky, right down to deceptively innocent looking one in diapers.

But I was determined! I was! We were going to do it! Because gosh-darn-it, memories were going to be made! Happy ones! Because I said so!

*clearing throat* Said ever so lovingly of course.

We make Leprechaun traps for St. Patrick's Day ever year. And I'm woman enough to admit that the ones we've made in the past were kind of lame. But this year, I found a way cute idea at

So I started making the traps with the intent and hope that the kids would all join in and we would have a grand ole' time as a family.

Heh, ya............. You know what? Let's just skip over the whole attitude part altogether and imagine us all frolicking through a world made of chocolate.

So much better.

But despite the cranky-kids-who-will-not-be-named, they really were excited about their traps.

And wa-la! Three traps in one.

What can I say? The kids had to add their own "personal touches".

You see, the ever questioning Savannah insisted that the Leprechauns would be too smart for traps and demanded to know all the mechanics of how they would work. The two hats with false tops were easy to explain. The hanging basket set to land over the cup? Not so much.

I'm sure I mumbled a lot, and "hey what's that over there?" a time or two.

Because I couldn't figure it out either.

And in case you're wondering what that big, weird, white thing is? It's the basket disguised as a cloud.

Yes, yes it is.

I was fresh out of cotton balls so I had to improvise.

Toilet paper seemed the next best thing!

And the spoons in the cup? Savannah's idea. Something shiny to attract the Leprechauns.

Oh ya. We're awesome.

Soon the kids were in bed, excited to see what their new Leprechauns would look like as they planned out their three wishes.

I, on the other hand, stayed up late making a bunch of newborn headbands and at 1:30am, finally went to bed.

So when the kids were up and pestering me the next morning before 7am, I couldn't crack open my eyes. I swear someone glued them shut. So like any totally awesome and incredibly amazing mom would do, I simply pulled the covers over my head and gave them permission to check their traps.

I may not have had the strength to haul my carcass out of bed to get pictures of the kids, but I smiled as I heard all the exclamations of wonder and excitement when the kids discovered all the goodies left behind by the mischievous little green men.

Maybe next year, they will be really cool and leave behind little green footprints and a note.


March 16, 2012

Tutus and Twirls

Haha! Hey mommy! I wook wike you! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

Oh nuts. 

She must have caught me dancing in my tutu again.

Haha! Dis is funny! *crash, fall....oof*

Or... maybe she just walks like me.

Because pish.... come on. Me? Dance around in a tutu? Pah! *nervous cough*  I would never do such a thing!

Heh.... really! *crossing fingers behind my back*

March 14, 2012

One Drizzly Morning

The alarm on my phone goes off. Barely cracking my eyes open, I flail my hand around to the top of the dresser next to my side of the bed until I manage to find my phone.

I push snooze.

Five minutes later, the alarm sounds again and I push snooze, again. I do this every five minutes for half an hour, until Claira decides she's too annoyed with my alarm clock to stay asleep any longer. She stands up in her pack-n-play at the foot of our bed and starts crying at me.

She knows we're there and she won't give up.

She needs to move out.

I finally manage to stumble out of bed, knocking my hip against the changing table and stubbing my toe on a dinosaur toy left on the middle of the floor.

Ignoring the dishes still sitting out from dinner as they stare up at me accusingly, I manage to make her a bottle and get her calmed down. Then I briefly start up the mental battle. To go back to bed or to stay up and be productive, that is the question.

Finally deciding to be a responsible parent and not return to blessed oblivion, I go to the kid's rooms to start getting them up for the day.

The two children that don't have school are already awake, of course.

The two that do have school are still asleep and I spend the next 20 minutes trying to convince them to get up and going.

The next half hour flies by in a tizzy as I scamper from room to room gathering up shoes and gloves, backpacks and homework, then packing lunches and pouring cereal, all the while vowing to myself that, one of these days, I'm going to start having the kids get all their stuff together before bed. And while I'm at it, start going to bed early myself.

Never mind that I've been saying that for months now.

Daddy emerges from the bedroom to leave for work and we have family prayer.

Jacob is laying in the hallway whimpering. He got his kindergarten immunization shots yesterday, two in each leg, and now he refuses to walk anywhere since his legs are sore. I carry him to the kitchen and get him and Alayna some breakfast.

Claira attacks my feet, demanding attention. Setting some Cheerios on the floor so she can snack, unintentionally like a puppy, she is temporarily mollified.

It's time to get to the bus stop and now I'm frantic. Joseph is still working on his breakfast and I'm still tackling Savannah's hair. Calm requests turn into barking orders. Get your coats, hats, and gloves on... hurry! Nevermind brushing your teeth, just get ready! Soon winter clothes are flying and the kids race out the door.

I have to call Savannah back because she forgot her backpack.

I watch them for a moment as they walk away. Then another kid from the corner yells, "Buuuuuss!" And my children take off running.

Relieved we made it in time, I pick up Claira who is trying to escape through the open front door, and I immediately feel wet warmth on my side. Blast, I forgot to change her diaper.

Cleaning her up and changing my sweater, I take her back to the kitchen and tell Alayna to quit dancing on the counter and Jacob to quit cutting up the cereal boxes.

So naturally Alayna decided she could since I had only specified Jacob.

I plop down on the couch on pick up the laptop. The overcast, rainy weather has made me a little nostalgic and I sit down to write this post thinking how someday I'll want to remember these times.

Halfway through Claira starts emptying the kitchen cupboard and is soon screaming because she pushed it shut on her hand. I pull her out and calm her down.

As I make my way back to the couch, I grab a handful of chocolate chips. True story.

I continue writing this post when Jacob announces he has to go potty. Claiming he still can't walk I hide a smile and carry him to the bathroom.

Claira is throwing a hissy fit so I make her another bottle. She's the happiest baby alive in that moment.

On my way back to the living room, I grab yet a another handful of chocolate chips thinking that if nothing else, I drank my fiber drink this morning, and hey, that has to count for something!

At least, that was my justification.

And now, at this very moment, the kids are asking to play a game on my kindle.

I guess that's my cue to sneak in a shower!

Ouch!! Claira just bit my knee!

True story.

March 12, 2012

Weekend What-Naughts

We were out of town yesterday for my newest little nephew's baby blessing. Say hi to Jayden.

I know right? So. Stinking. Cute.

Takes after his mom, definitely. *insert smug smiley face here*  The bros-in-law can't push you over or throw water on you when you're behind a computer screen! HA! So I think I'll stick out my tongue too, just for good measure.

Because I'm amazingly mature like that.

Just ask me.

I actually remembered to bring my camera this trip as I had every intention of capturing my children surrounded by their gazillion cousins as the soaked up this play-time bliss.  There is almost nothing my kids love more than their cousins.

My new favorite cousin-related incident is: Jacob asking me if he could go home with "Germy". "Mom? Can I ride in Germy's car? Can I go home with Germy? Germy and I are playing!"


Hahaha.... poor Jeremy. I don't think I'll ever be able to think of him as anyone else now.

But back to what I was saying, I had every intention of taking pictures. But I didn't take a single one. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

I spent the whole day trying to stay awake!

Granted the late nights, early mornings, time change, and altitude adjustment didn't help. I was truly dragging.

You know it's bad when strangers comment on how they caught you nodding off in church.

Oh curses. Busted.

But as always the kids had such a grand time. Alayna even managed to come home with a giant hand-me-down Care Bear (thanks again Michelle... I think) that she won't let anyone else touch.

Don't believe me when I say she's sassy? Go ahead, touch her Care Bear.

I dare you.

DISCLAIMER: I am not to be held responsible for any missing appendages, stitches acquired, medical bills, or psychiatric help needed after the completion of this dare.

Just sayin'.

March 9, 2012

Teeth and Toenails

I know, she's adorable. Right down to her razor sharp teeth.

I have become accustomed to Claira crawling over to me and hanging out at my feet. She likes to plop herself down on them and hang onto my pant legs. It's just her thing, it's how she rolls. I really don't think anything of it.

That is, until I painted my toenails.

The weirdest part is that it's not even a bright color. It's more of a shimmery pale pink with a coat of sparkles on top.

'Cause I like sparklies, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Now, however, instead of just happily hanging out minding her own business, she's like a cat chasing a light. She claws and paws at my toenails until she just can't take it anymore. She leans in for the kill and... *chomp* uses those mighty sharp teeth to bite me! On my toes!

True story: I'm making dinner, Claira crawls over, I give her a couple cheerios. Next thing I know *chomp* right on my toe!

Isn't there some kind of saying about not biting that hand that feeds you? Ya ya, no need to point out it's my foot, not my hand.

True story: I'm standing around, chatting with someone who has come over. Claira appears on the scene, crawls over to me and settles in to watch us talk. Next thing I know *chomp* there goes my toes again.

I think I'm going to have permanent teeth marks embedded in my skin. She has never, ever shown interest in my toes before.

I think I should make a sign and hang it on my front door:

WARNING: Painted toenails, enter at your own risk.

The other kids have decided that, toenail polish or no toenail polish, it's just safer to keep to the high ground.

Smart kids.

March 7, 2012

Joseph Turns Six

Joseph had a birthday.


I hear this happens every year, but time seems to be going by faster and faster while I'm getting slower and slower.

And wrinklier.

I think kids need to ask permission before growing up, it's only fair.

He turned six years old and I thought he would make a big deal out of it and want a party and presents and cake and ice cream and balloons and all the trimmings!! But he didn't really ask for those things, well, other then the cake. His birthday seems to have come and gone without a huge fuss.

That actually makes me feel kind of bad. So I'm going to stretch out his birth-day into a birth-week.

Monday - Bowling with the family
Tuesday - Cake
Wednesday - Balloons
Thursday - Present shopping (he'll get to pick out what he wants this year)
Friday - Invite friends to play.

At least, that's the plan. And we all know how well I stick to plans.

Hey you, over there behind that computer! I heard you laughing, er, snorting really. And you! Did you just... Roll. Your. Eyes? *gasp* Rude.

I can stick to a plan! Sort of..... well, there's a first for everything ya know!

Anyway, yeesh, where were we.

So Monday we drove a couple towns over to hit up the big fancy bowling alley (we had a coupon).

The kids were so excited I thought they were going to pass out!

But there was one thing I never expected, a blasted arcade was in the same building. And for my kids, arcade trumps just about anything in this life.

So sure, we had fun, but there was plenty of whining going in in between because all the boys wanted was money for the arcade!

It wasn't so bad when they were actually bowling, just when they had to wait their turn. And with six of us on a lane, it took a while.

Birthday boy!!

It got pretty darn serious at times.

Life and death really.

Savannah tried her luck at rolling the ball but when that didn't go very far very fast, she opted for the easy method.

She likes to win!! She gets that from her Granny.

Oh, don't looked all shocked and surprised mom, you know it's true. Haha!

Jacob was just happy there were snacks.

But I think of all the kids, Alayna was the one who had the most fun. That girl was just a big fluffy ball of bursting energy.

Every time she knocked some pins over, she jumped around shouting, "Ya ya ya! I win I win!"

It was so bad you could hardly bowl 'cause she was always in the way!

My brother Abe and his wife Annie and their twins came over to hang out with us.

Aren't they cute?

The twins kept Claira company.... sort of, while Abe had to go and show off.

Pish, whatever. Just because I kept getting gutter balls....

I'm pretty sure that in this picture I'm shouting at the ball to "stay in target... stay on target..." but clearly I lack The Force. Yoda and I need to chat.  I think I hit one pin, on the end.

And then Hubby had to go and kick my trash with all his fancy moves.

Whatever. I did my part by standing around and making fun of myself.  Comic relief, that's what I'm here for.

Apparently my backside was the only part of me that was ever aimed at the camera.

That's called evasive talent.

Or something.

After bowling we finally let the kids go wild on the arcade for a while. Which is a nightmare in and of itself.

You know what? Let's just not talk about it, okay?

Alright fine, if you must know, Joseph's family night party started with laughter and excitement, and ended in tears.

Because we didn't have enough tickets for all the kids to get a prize.

Five bucks in tokens will only get you so far.

Anyway, by Tuesday morning life was good again (thank goodness) and so last night we broke out the cake!

Yea, yea, yea. No mocking thank-you-very-much. Just because poor Sonic looks like he needs to shave doesn't mean you need to give ME a hard time about it. It's not like I had anything to do with that!


Oh well, at least Joseph was okay with my lack of cake decorating skills.

Claira rather enjoyed all the festivities!

Happy birthday little buddy! Despite all my shortcomings as a parent, I hope you will always know how much I love you. 'Cause I do, lots and lots.

Oh... hi Jacob! Sure, you can join in the picture too. I need more pictures with my handsome boys.

Don't mind us.

It just comes naturally.
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