March 5, 2012

Flushable Toilets = True Love

I like to believe I'm a fairly tough gal, despite the fact that my bros-in-law think otherwise.

I have seven siblings, with four brothers I learned how to wrestle and how to run away to live another day. With three sisters I learned not to mess with anyone's closet and never, ever, eeevveerr touch their personal shampoo. It was like stealing their boyfriend. Seriously.

I'm not afraid of dirt or mud, unless it's on the bottom of a lake. Slimy... *shudder* Won't do it. Grossness.

Reason one why my bros-in-law think I'm a wuss.

But I've given birth to five children, I'm not afraid to break a sweat or work hard enough to get blisters on my hands, I know how to handle a wheelbarrow and use a drill, I've gone paintballing several times; one time my oldest brother shot me in the bum, twice.

Once on each cheek.

On purpose.

Couldn't sit for days.

True story.

I got my first job when I was 10 years old, shoveling dirt and filling in holes at a neighbor's house whenever their dog when on a digging spree. Did yard work and housecleaning for years before leaving for college. After I got married I worked 20 hours while taking 15 college credits while pregnant and puking in all the garbage cans around campus.

I grew up with baby gators in the pond, bears in the garage, snakes in the lights, spiders on the walls, and cockroaches in the kitchen.

Ahh... Florida. Sounds so romatic, yes? Not.

I like camping, as long as there's a flushable toilet close at hand. The whole hole-in-the-ground thing is beyond disturbing. Not that I haven't done it, I just loathe it. I specify "flushable" 'cause port-o-pottys and just as nasty.

Reason two my bros-in-law think I'm a wuss.

So ya, maybe not G.I. Jane, but I like to imagine I can hold my own when necessary.

But there is one thing I despise beyond all reason: cold.

And that is the biggest reason of all why my bros-in-law think I'm a wuss. I hate being cold. I won't go out in it unless I have to and certainly not for the fun of it. I complain about it often, and so my bros-in-law are always telling me to toughen up and get over it.

But I can't. I just... can't! And THAT is why I'm living in the frozen tundra of Neverendingwinterville. Because I'm cursed. Truly.

So, Hubby and I have decided that for spring break, we are going to take a trip down to Moab, Utah and see the sites. It will be a bit of a drive but hopefully lots of fun. He asked where we should spend the evenings, and I replied that I didn't care as long as I wasn't freezing my toenail polish off and we have a toilet.

Gotta have a toilet. Just sayin'.

Now, if you knew my Hubby at all, you would know how so very, very money conscious he is. I mean, I am too, but definitely not as much as he is. The budget is like his true purpose in life, or his sixth child. Only we've had it since we first got married.

However that works.

Anyway, as we were planning, he started rolling off numbers for hotels and such for the nights we would be down there.

I paused and looked over at him. "Wait wait wait. Hotels? You would be willing to pay for hotels? Really? Why?" I was feeling rather incredulous like someone swapped out my husband and left a stranger.

He replied, "Well, how else am I going to convince you to go? You said you need a toilet and a shower if possible. Plus you don't like the cold."

I know you guys won't understand why, but I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped open.

"You would do that? For me?" It was one of those aaaawwwww..... moments. My husband would be willing to pay for a hotel just so I could have a toilet.

I don't care what other people say, that right there is love. True love.

But I told him a hotel wasn't necessary. It was so much cheaper to stay at a KOA.

So as long as they have flushable toilets, I'm good.

This time Hubby's jaw dropped open. "You would be willing to stay at a KOA instead of a hotel, just to save money?"

I'm pretty sure I was totally sexy to him at that moment. Pure hotness in all its glory.

And guess what? The KOA's do have toilets.

And showers!

And we will be staying in a hotel for one night.

This trip in a few weeks is going to be awesome.

15 super cool people speak:

Brenick said...

you are a better woman than I. haha! this girl needs hotels! i dont camp and i dont do koa. :)

Amy said...

Oooh, have fun!
The whole time I read this super entertaining post, I'm thinking... Serene needs to move to ARIZONA!!!
We have toilets.

P.S. I am never, EVER living in Florida. Snakes in the lights? Oh. my. heck.
The only way I'm getting dragged into that kind of personal h-e-double-hockeysticks is if I'm going to the Harry Potter theme park.

Sara Lyn said...

That IS true love!!!

Saimi said...

AWESOME!! He's da man! You married a keeper for sure!! Have fun in the SUN!!

Moab is the Celestial Kingdom as far as my husband is concerned.

Larsen said...

You two are so the epitome of TRUE you put it on facebook. Wuc, twue wuv.

Hee hee.

cute. I hope you have a great time!

Sue said...

Got a chuckle out of this. Hope you have a great time. You deserve it!


Lara said...

Awww, you two are awesome. My husband and I just got called to teach a Strengthening Marriage class in our ward and I think we may need to use you guys as our poster couple. Have a fabulous time on your trip!

Garden of Egan said...

I gotta agree.
I'd have to trade my firstborn for a flushable toilet.

Mama Smith said...

OH...the MEMORIES!!!!!!!! I just had to laugh...JUST PLAIN FUN!!!!! Nope, I don't MISS Florida...though, the PEOPLE sure were AWESOME! Thanks...for the memories...(smile)

Megan Jones said...

Ah yes, the giant spiders, the cockroaches, thankfully I never experienced the snakes in the lights! Never was a dull moment at the Smith home! You guys should continue a little further south and come visit me in California! We have flushable toilets AND a shower!

Claudia said...

Awww, you two are so sweet!! I keep hearing great things about Moab. I'm only 4 hours away from Moab. How exciting!

Lindzena said...

I totally agree with you on two of those three things - lake mud (and fish, if they touch you) ICK! Flushing toilets, can't live without for very long. But as far as the cold goes, I totally prefer it to being hot, almost any day of the week.

I hope you have so much fun in Moab! You'll have to let us know the most fun things about the place; what to see. I've never been, so I want to know where it is I should go.

Vanessa said...

Sounds like you will have an awesome spring break. And how cute that he would go to hotels. Love them men...

tomiannie said...

THAT is what makes an awesome marriage -- two people who love each other enough to recognize and make concessions for things that are important to the other. Awesome.

Also, I am SO with you on the cold. #1 reason I hated girls camp - I cannot stand sleeping outside. So.dang.cold.

Garvin Smith said...

Have fun!
I may have ruined you though. Had we gone camping without toilets and showers you would have been more acceptable to your brothers-in-law. But, who cares?

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