Jacob's Logic

First of all, I'm a little crushed that out of the 192 of you that stopped by yesterday, only four people liked my Christmas tree.

Fine.

I will be expecting 188 packages of consolation chocolate to arrive before Christmas.

Just kidding!

Maybe.

Okay... no I'm not.

Anyway.



There was a miffed little four-year old boy over the fact that daddy was only allowing him one ice cream sandwich.

The conversation went like so.

Jacob: (arms defiantly folded across chest) *humph* Fine! Then you will die, and the new daddy will give me a big ice cream sandwich!

Daddy: I'm never going to die. I'm going to live forever! But, when you get big like me, then you can have as many ice cream sandwiches as you want.

Jacob: *whinning* But we can't be big 'cause we poop and we get smaller!


If Jacob ever goes on a date with a really tall girl, I can only hope he won't use this logic on her.

Just sayin'.

Hey look at my tree! Isn't it so pretty.

A couple weeks ago, I was mocked... twice, (and no smart alecy remarks about that thank-u-very-much) for still having my Halloween decorations out, my Fall/Thanksgiving decor up, and Christmas lights on the house.

In all fairness to me though, I kept meaning to put my Halloween stuff away, and in this case I believe it's the thought that counts, right?

As for the Fall/Thanksgiving stuff, well that stays up until the day after Thanksgiving. No Christmas decorations allowed until then, when I break out the tree!

Well, except for the house lights. See, for the past TWO years, I have tried to get hubby to put up the lights on our house. "Tried" being the operative word here... and failed. And since there is usually snow around here by Thanksgiving, I was stinkin' determined to get my blasted lights up this year!

So, just after Halloween and while Hubby was out of town, I borrowed a ladder, and got those suckers put up!

And go figure, no snow yet this winter.

And yes, they look awesome.

Not that I'm bias or anything, just right. 'Cause I'm always right.

Just ask me.

Scaling the roof to put the lights up? Meh, whatever. I use to do it all the time as a teenager. No, not to sneak out of the house or anything, just for fun, because we could. My sister's window emptied out onto the perfect spot. So climbing all over the roof was like riding a bike.

Anyhow, I don't usually write a post and say, "Hey look at my tree! Isn't it so pretty." But this year I am.

Because I want to.

So there.

I have always been a blue and silver kind of girl, and so for the last few years, I've had a beautiful velvet, royal blue tree skirt with sparkly silver snowflakes on them, and the rest of the tree was covered in blue/silver/iridescent sparkliness.

Because I love sparklies, and snowflakes, and snowmen.

And I'm not ashamed of it.

These three posts are the closest I can get to showing you what it looked like, if you feel you really must know. One. Two. Three.

But last year my colors felt rather bland. Don't know why, they just... did. So this year I totally changed it up and I need your opinion.

I know, it kind of looks like my tree is sprouting from all the extra added stuff. But anyway, what do you think? Huh? Huh? Needs more... something, right? Yes, no... I don't know.

Wait...

Ah ha!! Busted!

Ah dang. Fine, never mind. No you're not in trouble you ridiculously cute thing you.

All she has to do is flashy the adorable toothless smile at me and she can have whatever she wants.

Sadly, I don't think that look would work for me if I lost all my teeth.

*sigh* Some people have all the luck.

Anyhow, what do ya think?

If you don't like it, just lie to me, and tell me I'm fabulous.

On second thought... don't lie. Just send me consolation chocolate instead.

How to be a lame blogger 101

Welcome to "How to be a lame blogger 101".

Before we begin, please make sure all checks, money orders, chocolate bars, or shoe bribes are sent to SERENE.

Thank you.

Let's begin.


1. Change your name to Serene.

2. Think about blogging approximately 3654 times, but actually do it. Then change your name to Serene.

3. Bring your camera with you everywhere, but don't actually use it. Then change your name to Serene.

4. Write something really boring, like "how to be a lame blogger 101". Then change your name to Serene.

5. Name your next baby Serene (preferably if it's a girl, but that's optional). Because clearly that's what this post is about.

6. Change your name to Serene.

The End.

Sorry, no refunds.

If you have a complaint, please inform me if you find the complaint box. I need to leave a note. My jeans and I still don't seem to be getting along.

Not that I'm blaming anyone. Eh hem....

Anyway, I hope you all had a rather fabulous Thanksgiving. So spill it, what'd you do and where'd you go? How much turkey did you eat and which pie did you devour?

Pecan.

Not that I'm admitting to anything.

What'd we do? Well, we drove in to my in-laws place. Turns out it was to be just our family and Hubby's brother Mike with his daughter Isabelle. It was chill, relaxed, low-key... nice.

Savannah loves and I mean LOVES her great-grandpa. Since he can't see, she makes sure to take good care of him. Helping him move from room to room, playing with and reading to him. I've even seen her help him with his food.

I didn't grow up around extended family, so it's nice to see my kids enjoy theirs.


Anyway, all was good until... not long after we got there, a bunch of Hubby's other siblings kept calling in for my mother-in-law and breaking out into song.

Like as in, "Happy Birthday to you...." kind of song.

*gasp* I could have... should have, whacked Hubby on the back of the head. How could he! He forgot his own mother's birthday!! And I, being a no good, dirty-rotten daughter-in-law, didn't even know it!

Now I have guilt.

So yes, Thanksgiving Day, (aka, Barbara's birthday) my MIL did all the cooking, while we did all the eating.

Hubby is in deep, doggy trouble... from me.

Just sayin'.

Anyhow, we came home late Thursday night because Hubby wanted to do something he's never done before.

Black Friday. *gasp* The horror!

He had one item in mind. One he's been researching and saving up for for a loooooong time. And even though he left the house at a reasonable 7:00am, his parting words to me were, "I feel stupid, going out Black Friday shopping."

What is the item you ask? Well, I'll tell you later since it's on back order until after New Year. But I will say, it's going to be a whole lot better than this.

So tell me, did you brave Black Friday? If so, did you get anything good?

Kid Craft: Turkeys!

Every once in a while, I'll look at something that I should be throwing away and think, Huh, I bet I could make something really cool out of these.

I totally inherited that trait from my father.

Since I started canning a couple years ago, I confess, I've saved the used lids from the jars.

What!? Don't look at me all weird, I have plans for them. Several in fact.

So there.

I'm actually feeling a bit miffed at all your scoffing.

Okay not really.... okay maybe a little.

Anyhow, for Family Home Evening last night, I tested out one of my ideas, and seriously, the kids LOVED them!

I think I may have just graduated to the Moderately Cool mommy level. Someday, I plan on hitting Super Cool Rock Star level.

Ta da!! Turkeys!!

No, not me, the one in my hand! Sheesh! Some people, I tell ya.

Anyway, if your kids are older they will be able to do them fine but since our kids are younger, Hubby and I did most of the cutting and hot gluing. Still, the kids were quite involved. Their favorite part was picking out all their colors and such.

I just used a bunch of felt fabric that I had on hand.

Anyway, here's how you make them.

1. Cut out a circle of felt about 3/4 inch bigger than the lid. Put just a bit of hot glue on the inside of the lid and glue to the circle.

2. Cut a line in the felt every half inch all the way around the circle.

3. Put a little glue on each flap and use your thumb to tightly push the felt down and over the corner to secure it to the lid.

 4. Cut out a circle for the body (about 1.6 inches wide)  and a smaller one for the head (about 1 inch wide), glue to the front of the covered lid.

5. Add some googly eyes, a wattle (I googled it to find out what the red thingy was called. Your welcome) and a beak. Cut out seven feathers (mine were about 2 inches tall and 1 inch at the widest part, tapering down to half an inch) and attach to the backside of the turkey.

6. Decorate with any other embellishments!

7. If desired, you can write names on the turkeys with puff paint.

I happen to have a bag of actual feathers on hand so some of the kids opted to use those with the felt feathers, while others wanted the feathers without the felt ones. Just be creative!

Seriously, the kids were so excited about them. Joseph only looks stoned because he's been really sick. Poor kid.

The kids were especially proud of Claira's. We discovered this exceptionally large feather in the bag and everyone was more than willing to make the baby a "special" turkey. So cute the way they love their baby sister.

 I think I'm going to attach some twin or yarn to the backs and hang them somewhere.

So there you have it. Proof. We are a family of turkeys! 

Probably not Pintrest worthy or anything, but we sure had a blast!

A Thankful Post

Being Thanksgiving week and all, I thought I would write a little thankful post in honor of this wonderful holiday. 

This is a card given to Hubby from Savannah when he finally got back from his business trip.

Dear dad, I

missed you

very very much.

You'r the

best dad in

the world!

You done

so much for

me. I figured

that my life is

not better wi-

thout you.

Love,

your daughter,

Savannah H.

I for one, am thankful that she figured that too.

This is a picture Savannah drew on Sunday during church, clearly paying attention to the speakers and all. *cough*

I wish that dad

would stay the way

he is.

Savannah - Oh no!  He is nuts!

Dad - Yea!

This is

how he

use to be.

Then

he did

this.

I am thankful that Savannah has already figured out her father is nuts.

It will save me a lot of explaining in the future.

And I don't know about you, but I think Savannah has an artistic touch. Her drawings look pretty accurate to me!

Breaking Dawn... Literally.

Normally I wouldn't subject you poor readers to more than one post on certain topics, such as potty-training, toenails, and Twilight.

But I'm afraid I must, just this once.


What do you get when you stick a bunch of society-deprived, high on sugar, stay-at-home moms together in a confined space for several hours?

It's just the way it is.

It's unavoidable.


Don't judge.


But my night out with the gals was a blast! They really are the greatest group of calm, mature women ever.

I want to be just like them when I grow up. Aren't they cute?

As for the movie itself, "Breaking Dawn"... all I can say is, best (very slow) comedy ever. Seriously.

I laughed at the funny parts.

I laughed at the serious parts.

I laughed at the "romantic" parts.

I'm so glad Gina brought me. She's my partner in crime, the alpha-female of the group. I love that girl.

These pictures depict some of the scenes from the movie.

1. At the wedding when every one's saying their toasts.
Bella's dad, "I'm a cop so I uh, know stuff." Bella's friend, "Then Eward was like, all about Bella... even though she's not the captain of the volleyball team... kidding! Kidding...."

2. The honeymoon scenes. FAR too much skin and way too much time devoted to it. Close your eyes.
I've been told that since I have "so many kids, I must not know how babies are made." Who knew all I had to do was go see a Twilight movie to figure it out!

3. Uh, must have been another slow part and we just got bored.

4. The scene where Sam and Jacob have a... what I can only assume was suppose to be an intense conversation, while in werewolf form. "Abomination!"
Wow. I've never laughed so hard.

5. The one and only fight scene in the movie. It was at night, and you could barely see what was going on. So sad

6. When Jacob imprints and they show the baby at the end. She was totally, funny/scary computer animated. I think I'm going to have nightmares about that.

But the most interesting part of the whole experience, was the scary number of male specimens there representing Team Testosterone. I bet a third of the movie attendees were male.

Opps! That guy caught us taking his picture. Awkward.....


The whole gang in all their homemade t-shirts. Made with all kinds of TLC I'm sure.

My Team Chocolate shirt filled me with pride.

A couple of my favs.

And there you have it. My night in a nut-shell.

Some things however, will never be told, (like certain people bringing in certain food to the movie) and some pictures will never be shown. And if I ever see them posted anywhere, I think I'll die of embarrassment.

Then come back to haunt Gina.

P.S. Thanks Gina for letting me use all your photos!

Which TEAM are you on?

In a few hours, I will be picked up at my house by a group of Twilight loving, fanatical maniacs (which I'm not) to go see the new "Breaking Dawn" flick.

As in, the midnight showing.

I'm bringing body armor and tampons, in case anyone gets a bloody nose fighting over seats.


I know we're not allowed to bring outside food to the theatre and all, but really, do you think they would care if I melted a few pounds of chocolate into a mug to bring along?


Nah, you're right. Better save that for the morning when I have to be all awake and responsible.

Because clearly, drinking melted chocolate in the morning rather then the middle of the night, is the more responsible thing to do.

Yes, I know, I am obviously someone to look up to.


Now, this is the same group of gals who brought me to opening night of "Eclipse" last year. Or rather, my friend Gina TOLD me I was coming. Not asked, told.

And I'm good with that.

Because all I have to do is sit here and reflect on my experience from then to know that this will be another night to remember.

Nothing like a room full of 200 year old women wearing "bite me" t-shirts to strike fear to your very core. Who cares about vampires and werewolves when you get to see that!

You can read all about it if you'd like so you don't feel left out. I promise you'll laugh... a least a little bit. TEETH VS CLAWS

Anyway, as is tradition I guess with this group of gals, they like to make fan t-shirts for the show.

And after re-reading my post from last year, Gina made me up my very own team fan-shirt.

Seriously, have you ever seen anything so totally magnificently, stupendously, fantabulolsy, deliciously incredible in your entire life!?

I think NOT!

And so I must thank my bodacious babes for the wonderful gift!! I will treasure it always and wear it all the important events in my life.

Church, weddings, childbirth, parent-teacher conferences... I will forever wear it proudly.

Four Common Parenting Mistakes (not mine of course)

4. Don't repeat something over and over again to your children in the mistaken belief that they'll actually listen after a while. They tend to pick up on that tactic, it will come back to haunt you.

MomcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhavea
drink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink  *deep breath* momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhavea
drink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink momcanIhaveadrink....



3. Telling your kids what they are allowed to cut with scissors, is not the same thing as telling them what they are not allowed to cut.

They're all about loopholes.

2. Teaching tact is a whole different battle than teaching manners.

Jacob: Mom, were you ever small like me or are you always just big and old?


1. Refrain from allowing the baby to playfully put their fingers in your mouth. 'Cause let's face it, even if they're not crawling yet, you really just don't know where their fingers have been.

(Overheard from the living room)

Jacob: Haha! Claira! Don't put your fingers in my nose!!

~~~

Jacob: Mom! Claira's fingernails are bleeding!
Me: What! Why?
Jacob: Because Alayna bit them off for Claira.



*awkward silence* Ack...I think I need more mouth wash.


P.S. My "Three Scoops" post is being featured over at Or So She Says today! Swing by and see me there!

A man and his business

It was the Primary Presentation for our ward at church yesterday. (children ages 3-11 put on a little program about what they're learning in Primary)

My three oldest children were up on the stand with the other kids.

It was easy to pick out Savannah from the group as she made it her goal to belt out the songs louder than anyone else.

Jacob too was unforgettable as he went up to the microphone to say his little line. His smile was so big I thought his face would split in half and he giggled so hard through his part that everyone in the congregation laughed.

But it was Joseph who really took the cake.

Near the end of the program, he walks off the stage and over to me to tell me he needed to go to the bathroom. I whispered back that the program was almost over so he should just hold it and go back up to his seat on the stand.

Visibly upset, he stomps back up to his seat, and as he passed the leader sitting on the end of his row, very loudly stated, "Mommy said No!!"

He then throws himself dramatically into his chair head first so his back is to the crowd. After a moment he turned to face me and gave me the biggest scowl I have ever seen. I was sure I was going to erupt into flames his glare was so intense. By now, those sitting near me and ducking their heads to hide their laughter.

Awesome.

Then during a song, and yes, from up there on the stand, Joseph yells out and calls down to me, "Moooomm! I'm going to wet my underwear!!"

Now all the leaders sitting near Joseph up on the stand were ducking their heads, bodies visibly shaking as they tried to contain their laughter.

Great. Just great.

I finally had to wave him down for fear of what he would yell out next, and told him to go do what he had to do. And he did.

When he came back, he runs up to his seat, big smile on his face, and joins in the song.

Fabulous.

When I recounted the story to Hubby, he laughed and said, "Well what do you expect? You should never get between a man and his business."



Thanks for the insight there honey.

Trick-or-Chocolate!

Every once in a while I go through a phase where I feel rather adventurous.

Like this one time, I decided to try ketchup on my eggs. Ick.

So a bit of adventurousness hit me over Halloween weekend. Definitely not the 'take all five kids to a corn maze and hope we don't lose one' kind of adventurous, more like 'let's make some fun cookie bats' kind of adventurous.

I know where my priorities lie.


Our Best Bites came through for me and my adventurous streak. It made the perfect Sunday afternoon activity.

The words "chocolate covered" tend to do that to me though.

It's my one weakness.

First I showed everyone how to make them, turning my back whenever I needed to lick chocolate off my fingers. It's strange how so much chocolate accidentally gets on my fingers while I'm baking.

But I don't want any of the kids to learn how that accidentally might happen to them too.

'Cause I'm a good mom and all. Just doing my part to keep them on the straight and narrow and do better than me.

Unselfishly of course.

Nothing like dunking oreos into a bowl of melted chocolate to make the world go round.

Even if I did have to slap Hubby's hand a couple times to keep him from eating it all.

Only I'm allowed to do that.

Unselfishly of course.

It was also a big day for Claira. Daddy gave her her first taste of chocolate!

I can read her accusionary thoughts in that moment. 

Claira: Mom! How come you've never given me this divine deliciousness before? You've been holding out on me!

Me: First of all, you're too young to be using words like "divine deliciousness", and second, I'm just trying to save you from chocolate's evil grasp! Unselfishly of course.

I don't think she bought it.

And... Wa-la!! Oreo Bats!

The kids were rather creative, insisting that some bats only needed one eye, while others needed at least six.

I need six eyeballs. I think it would dramatically reduce the messes in my house! But I think I'd end up spending a fortune in mascara.

Guess I better pass.

They were so proud of themselves!

Next we did a little taste testing! You know, just to make sure they were good and all.

I'm fairly confident they passed inspection.

Of course, I've been known to be wrong before.... on rare occasions.

So I ate most of them, just in case.

Unselfishly of course.

The next day was Halloween. I was running behind schedule (which of course has never happened to me before) but I did my best.

We had Mummy Dogs

Monster Jaws

and Cheesy Fingers for dinner.

Perhaps not the most filling meal, but fun nonetheless.

But as I said before, I was running way behind schedule (which as I said before, never happens to me *cough*) and the Trunk-or-Treat was starting about the time dinner was done, so costumes this year were kind of lame. Weak sauce really.

Thankfully, the kids didn't seem to realize it or even care.

My little pumpkin.

I had so many people tell me that night that I'm such a "fun mom". I finally came to the conclusion that I must have looked like an idiot.

But that's okay, I'm use to that. The kids just thought it was cool that I kind of dressed up.

I didn't bother to tell anyone that the hat I've got on is a "kiddie size", according to the tag.

Didn't need to point out that I must have a small head or something.

I gotta the draw the line somewhere.

Anyway, it was fun.

The next morning, the kids got up and asked if it was Christmas Day.