October 5, 2011

The Quiet Game

Have you ever done something a certain way your entire life, only to be told you've been doing wrong all this time?

For example, when I first got married, I glanced up at my new husband one evening when he asked me what in the world I was doing. He looked at me all strange as I started slicing the cheese block the short way.

I was beginning to wonder about him because I was obviously slicing the cheese block.

That's when he informed me that I was slicing it all wrong. He took the cheese block, turned it on it's side and started slicing it the long way.
That's when I knew.

I had married a man from Mars.

I just did not see why slicing it that way was the correct way. Slicing it the other way had served me faithfully all these years.

Must be a Mars thing.

Square cheese blocks are the greatest invention, ever. Just sayin'.

And don't get me started on tomato slicing.


So imagine my dismay when I discovered from my own children that I have been playing the "Quiet Game" wrong all these years.

See, the game was always very cut and dry for me. Whoever makes the first noise loses. The end.

Apparently, that's not how you REALLY play.

THE SCENE: 

I'm trying to cook dinner, help Savannah with her homework, prop Claira's bottle up as she sat in her swing, keep the boys out of the snacks, stop Alayna from coloring her face with the markers, and all five kids are screaming and yelling in order to be heard above... well, each other.

Finally I roared, "QUIET!!"

*deep breath... an epiphany hits* "I know! Why don't you guys play the quiet game? That would be SOOOO fun!"

Believe it or not, the kids immediately started jumping up and down shouting, "Yea! Yea!"

Savannah takes charge.

THE GAME:

"Okay!" says Savannah, "I'm going to start now. Ready... 1...2...3...Go!"

Blissful silence ensues................ for about four seconds.

"Time out! I really need to say something." pipes in Joseph. 

(Hey! I never got time outs for this game when I played as a kid! I'm feeling a little wronged about this.)

After a minute or so of jabbering, they start again. "1...2...3... Go!"

Three seconds of blissful silence follow.

Savannah breaks it this time. "Wait, wait... time out! I have something REALLY important to say."

Jabbering goes on for a minute. Then they start again.

Another three seconds of silence comes and goes.

Jacob bursts out, "Time out! I have something really, REALLY important to say."

This whole "time out" thing continues for several more minutes before Savannah changes the rules.

(Pish... I don't remember being allowed to change the rules either!)

"Okay guys, you're talking too much." she states. "We're not allowed to say 'time out' anymore. If you have something really, really, really important to say, raise your hand and I'll call on you."

(Who put miss bossypants in charge?)

And so again, for the next several minutes, hands shot up into the air every few seconds since everyone had something really, really important to say.

Things like, "Uhhhh.... Oh! There's a fly over there!" and, "Hmmmm.... uh, the cracker is very salty."

You know, profound things. Life and death things.

First it's cheese, now it's the favored Quiet Game. What else about my childhood has been wrong? Huh? Huh!?

What about you? Please tell me I'm not the only one who's been slicing tomatoes all wrong!?

9 super cool people speak:

~Laurie~ said...

lol!!!!!!!!!!! Great post - can sooooo relate! Yes, I have been having a "discussion" with my husband for the last 25 years. I, evidently, put the dishes in the dish dryer the wrong way. Have done it "wrong" for years - and honestly, I am NEVER going to do it right! I think it keeps our marriage fun to do things the "wrong" way - so keep cutting the cheese (HAHAHAHA!) the wrong - I mean the RIGHT way!!

Sue said...

I am one of those awful creatures who fails to fold towels the "right" way.

heehee

;)

Brittney said...

haha, my dad is all about efficiency and doing things the right way (also has engineering brain like your hubby probably has). He informed me in the past that you should cut cheese the way your husband does because it requires less effort since you have less "drag" on the knife since less cheese touches the knife as it cuts. But I say if you want to do it the other way and use more effort, then go for it! :)

Royalbird said...

At least they were quieter and playing with each other, right?

Garvin Smith said...

Scupper, you do everything just right! LOVE, Pappy.

Amy said...

Ha ha ha!! Yes, the quiet game. Totally classic. We used to call it "don't break the sugar bowl."

P.S. I wish you were my neighbor too.

Mama Smith said...

Having learned to IRON since BEFORE my TEEN years...and quite competent in my ability to "IRON"...I ACTUALLY TOOK TIME...in my early years of marriage...and would IRON my husband's shirts...(hey...this art is nearly EXTINCT!) NO COMPLAINTS...UNTIL...he discovered STARCH...and became a "Professor"...Somehow, my IRONED shirts...just wasn't good enough...So, to PLEASE...my husband...I turned over the IRON and the IRONING BOARD to HIM...and he now has the privilege of doing it himself...THAT way...I KNOW they will come out EXACTLY how HE likes them...and I... now have time...to do OTHER wonderful things...(smile)

Charlotte said...

Before they can mess it up with their own rules, just upgrade to the dead fish game. It is like the quiet game only includes the lack of motion. Best game ever invented!

The Bagley Family said...

BAHAHAHAH!! I tried that with my boys once....Peter informed me my games are never really that fun.

I wish I were you neighbour too...you would like me:) I am sitting here eating chocoalte chips...I would even share...a few...

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