May 24, 2011

Birth, never a dull moment.

Wow, this post is really long. Sorry. You get extra bloggy brownie points if you actually read the whole thing.

Thursday morning about drove me crazy. I was having contractions alright, some really hard, painful ones even. The problem? They wouldn't stay consistent! Gah! They would come and go, come and go, much like my sanity.

And seriously, that's just cruel.

Still, even if they didn't remain consistent, the longer I was having them, the more uncomfortable they became. Hubby and I were calling each other back and forth with updates but it wasn't until my super awesome labor and delivery nurse neighbor, who'd been helping me through the contractions, took me on a walk around the block that they were coming about every two minutes and getting mighty uncomfortable.

So, when hubby came home for lunch, I refused to let him leave again.

See, he wasn't fully convinced that I was in labor since I wasn't balling or threatening his life... yet.

But I decided it was time to go, and since I was the one in pain, I didn't allow hubby any choice in the matter. So we headed out for the hospital and arrived roughly at 3:30pm.

By the time we were in the room and I was dressed in one of those super fancy and totally flattering for your figure hospital gowns, my contractions were painful enough to make me teary-eyed.

At that point hubby was starting to believe that maybe I was in labor.

When they asked if I wanted an epidural, I hesitated only a moment before saying YES!

I was having a ton of back labor. Everyone has their limits when it comes to pain, and mine ends with back labor. I was worried she was going to be posterior like the boys, and I wasn't going to get caught in that world of torture, pain and agony without some help.

So they called the anesthesiologist, and soon he arrived with all his happy meds.

Little did I know what I would have to endure first.

Now, you have to remember, I've had three epidurals and one all-natural birth before. My previous epidural experiences have been cake, cheesecake really. A slight pinch here, some pressure there, then.... happy land!

Well... *cracking my knuckles* he got me all prepped and ready, then he said, and I quote, "Okay, I'm going to insert the numbing medication so a slight prick..."

A slight prick? A SLIGHT PRICK!! That was not a slight prick! Holy stab my back Batman, that hurt! I was so surprised by how much it hurt I couldn't stop myself from jerking away. It actually hurt enough to bring tears to my eyes.

Then I had the gall to apologize for jerking. Pish, what was I thinking? I was the one with tears of pain running down my face!

But oh, it gets worse.

Much worse.

After he "supposedly" numbed my back he said, and I quote, "K, here comes the epidural needle so lots of pressure but no pain, okay?"

In that moment, when he inserted that gigantic torture device into my young, tender flesh, I tried not to hate him. Really, I did. But oh, did I ever feel that needle go in. And let me tell you, it made the other needle poke feel like a soft breeze brushing across my back.

By this point I was sobbing. Big, black tears fell from my face and I briefly wondered why I had bothered to put mascara on that morning. I was only mildly embarrassed when I noticed all the snot pouring out as well.

I was too busy entertaining thoughts of revenge and torture.

So, after I apparently surprised everyone with my obvious ability to feel said epidural needle, I was pricked yet again while he tried to numb me, yet again.

And I tried not to hate him, yet again.

But finally, blessedly, he had everything in and all the pain started to subside.

And I briefly considered forgiving him.

Anyway, skim over the part where I was super nauseous so they gave me anti-nausea meds so I didn't puke during labor, which knocked my lights out for the next two hours, over which my contractions frizzled out, even though the doctor had already broken my water. (Broke my water? That just sounds weird. How does one break water?)

Well, Claira's head was down, everything was ready, except that there were no more contractions. So, they gave me just a couple doses of pitocin to get things rollin'. And boy did they start rollin'!

The contractions came fast and I started feeling a lot of pressure. Up to this point I had kept my epidural on the lowest dosage. But soon I was seriously contemplating pushing the magic button that gives you another dose.

I was checked and sitting at six centimeters. Less than five minutes later, I gasped and a bit frantically told Hubby to call the nurse! I was pretty sure that baby was coming out! 

My gracious Hubby turned off the TV, called and nurse and pushed my happy meds button for me all in a matter of seconds. But seriously, I thought it was too late. The pressure was so intense that it was painful and I was suddenly very happy for my epidural. The nurse came in, called the doctor, got everything set up and within a matter of minutes, I was up and ready to push.

In that moment I really, really wished I hadn't waited so long to push the epidural button as it takes a while to kick in. Because I seriously went from six centimeters to fully dilated in a matter of minutes. It all happened so fast!

She was practically crowning when the doctor showed up and three pushes later...


I can't help but think Hubby looks all smug in this picture, like he was the one who had just delivered a baby.

Okay, in truth he really is great and super supportive. Can't help but love him, even if he did eat cookies in front of me while I was in labor.

Even though it's the fifth time I've done this, it still feels pretty amazing.

Okay can anyone tell me what's wrong with this picture? Anyone?

I'm sure you ladies have it figured out but in case the men don't, let me spell it out for ya.

He's sleeping, I'm not. *sigh*

After little Claira was washed and returned to me, I really was quite surprised.

Is it just me, or have the bows they put on the baby's head changed a little bit?

*sigh* My cute little baldy. She didn't like getting her picture taken, too bright.

 Friday evening the kids stopped in for a brief visit.

Seriously, this is what happened.

"Mommy! Baby Claira.... COOKIES!!! Mommy can we have the cookies? And the drink? I'm thirsty! I'm hungry!"

Ah, I feel the love.

Poor Alayna was out cold. She didn't wake up for anything and slept the whole time they were there. Which is probably a good thing, she has a cold.

Oh my heck... did I do all THAT? Five little monkeys.

Heaven help me.

You think I was joking about the food? Here they are, eating my cheesecake,

And if you look at each one of the kids hands, they are all making off with something.

Going home Saturday afternoon.

And now that I haven't slept in four days, or nights, Luke is back at work and the kids are bored stiff since it's rainy and cold outside. I'm pretty sure my head is going to explode and my eyes are permanently bloodshot. I might just break down and call for help here soon.

Good thing they are so worth it.

P.S. Thanks again Becka for coming up to help me!

31 super cool people speak:

Neisha said...

haha, so like kids to want the food more than look at the baby.
she is a doll! :)

the fowlers said...

I can't wait to do that again. You're seriously pushing me toward epidural. And now I know the anti-nausea meds were to blame for my fog! I was so out of it but I had to take them the whole time.

She is so cute. And I love seeing your stinkers making off with your loot. I wish I could come bring you dinner! :)

gigi said...

Good job little mama she's a real beauty! Congrats and I love her name.

Mama Smith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mama Smith said...

You, my darling daughter, will ride through all of this...and will BE a "sparkling" gem...Just a little more "polishing" for the "finishing" touches...! BEAUTIFUL...WONDERFUL...PICTURES! (smile)

Wonder Woman said...

Wow. What a great story and one I can relate to!! My kids wanted all of my food, my husband slept afterward. I can only blame it on endorphins we get and they don't.

Claira is beautiful and oh-so-lucky. Wish I were there to take some kids off your hands.
Congrats, again, lady.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Are the "brownie points" made of real brownies, by chance???

The dr missed the spot when I got fetinal with wasn't that painful,but i barfed!

Momza said...

All of it.
The words, the feelings, the family, the momma, the baby.
Sleep when baby sleeps!

The Tolmans said...

She is so sweet and you are superwoman! I can't wait to snuggle her! And if you need help let me know, I do live kinda close ya know! I'll come see you soon, just wanted you to get settled!

Jess said...

Hi Serene! Congratulations, she's beautiful!! Sorry that I don't live closer to grab some kids off your hands in the afternoons. Double dang. Call for help before it gets worse!!! I can't imagine how exhausted you must feel! One amazing mama!!!

Jackie said...

I hope I look as good as you after giving birth. Wow girl!

The Bagley Family said...

This post was seriously food for the soul! The pictures were darling and now I want a new baby:)
I am going to go back and look at the baby pictures again and LOVE the pictures of you and Luke just looking at her. That is always my favorite part of new babies...sit and just look and look...

Romulo & Lydia said...

congrats! it seriously is a miracle! you are a pro at this mommy thing so i'm sure you will be fine...wish we still lived at wymount because i too would take a kid or two off your hands!

Claudia said...

Congratulations!! I am so happy for you :)

M-Cat said...

Love me a good birthing story (I'm so weird) and you get to push a button for your epidural meds? What the? I guess since I had my kids in the days of the dinosaurs.....

Everyone looks great and well, and happy! Yippeee
Congrats again!

Carrie said...

I LOVE birth stories. Your is excellent and she is so totally cute!

Scrappy Girl said...

She is beautiful! Congrats!

Cherie said...

Good job and beautiful pictures - I cannot get over how AMAZING you look! I always looked horrible (no really) after birthing a baby!! You look so good!!

kids do the darndest things said...

Congratulations! She looks so tiny compared to all your other big kids. And can I just say that you look amazing... even for someone who just had a baby.

the Damsel in Dis Dress said...

Awwww! So glad everything turned out okay. You and baby are gorgeous! Reminds me so much of when my #5 was born. My kids were pretty bored by the baby but boy was the hospital bed cool! Up down up down...

Royalbird said...

Beautiful baby, beautiful mama! Your epidural, slowed contractions, then sudden dilation and crowning--my story was pretty much the same. Congratulations!

Joe and Heather said...

Aww, Congrats!! Adorable family =)

Morgan -Ing said...

Way to go! She's awfully cute! No matter how you slice it, birth is hard work. Congratulations to your family. I hope you're surviving. :)

ldsjaneite said...

I had so many thoughts when I read this: 1) I don't have a problem with needles, but I always suspected I'd have a problem with THAT one. You've confirmed it for me. :-) 2) I think Claira looks a lot like Jacob--sans bow. 3) Don't forget to one day get a picture of all 5 monkeys jumping--just beware the falling off!!! 4) You always look fabulous--even right after labor! Go you! 5) Absolutely beautiful family.

Amy said...

I read the whole thing. Do I get points? :)
Mean old anesthesiologist. You should have asked him how long he'd been doing that. Give him a big slice of humble pie since you couldn't eat any of your cheesecake.

Congratulations, she's beautiful!

Jodi said...

Congrats she is just beautiful!

Rubber Ducky said...

What is up with your hubby eating cookies in front of you??not cool.. Anyway, Claira is a bueatiful baby just like her mamma :)

Garden of Egan said...

She's beautiful. Ya done good!

Ya, that is a cute little family. And you are right, Luke does look smug.

Hope you are doing OK and able to get a little sleep.

Garvin Smith said...

I read the whole blog. Absolutely riveting!

Anna Denney said...

So...I am in your parents ward and read the post your mom put on the relief society blog and saw this post (can't resist baby stories). And I just have to say that I know how you feel about that epidural needle. I have twins and another boy so I've done the epidural thing twice before this baby and it NEVER hurt. This time was pure torture. Nothing has ever hurt so bad in my you are not alone. : ) I felt like such a wimp freaking out about an epidural so I figured you might like to know it has happened to others too. : )

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Anna, thanks for commenting, and ICK!! I think my back is hurting again just thinking about it! So sorry!!

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