March 21, 2011

Fist fighting and flying disks-in Church

Hubby was out of town yesterday. This obviously meant I was getting the kids ready and taking them to church all by my lonesome. Eh, no biggie, right?

So, I got the kids bathed, with only about half a gallon of water splashed onto the floor. Miracles do happen. The other half ended up on the walls and bathroom door. But at least they were all clean, and so was the bathroom after I made them wipe it all up.

I got them dressed, and for once in the history of our home, no one complained about their church clothes; until I told Joseph he was not allowed to wear his Bob the Builder snow boots to church. That didn't go over too well.

I got them fed, with minimal cereal finding it's way to the floor. Although I couldn't say the same for the crackers the kids snuck into the living room. The enormous pile of crumbs over by the little dvd player totally gave them away.

But, believe it or not, we were at church on time.

Things were going well, surprisingly well. Alayna sat on my lap, with Jacob and Joseph next to me, and Savannah sat on the end. They were contently coloring and I just thought, Wow! This is going really well! 

Oh I was feeling so pleased.

Until about halfway through the meeting....

Alayna, getting quite restless as she always does, had started searching through the diaper bag for anything that would peak her interest.

She happen to find this little toy.

It's just a cheap-o toy that I think the kids got in their Halloween baskets. But here's the thing, when you squeeze the two sides in together, it shoots the little disk out.

Well, I was okay with her playing with it, anything to keep her calm and quiet, and she was happily squeezing the little disk into my hands.

But after a few moments, a small commotion to my right had me turning to see BOTH my boys, fists raised, teeth bared, as they just started laying into each other.

I'm talking, full out punching each other.

Yes, my boys actually got into a fist fight in the middle of Sacrament meeting.

Ah, the reverence.

I turned my attention to them and broke up the fight. Once I was assured they had stopped, I turned back to Alayna, just in time to see her shoot that little disk out several feet away.

I'm seriously starting to question our choice to always sit near the front of the chapel.

When someone picked it up for us and tried to get Alayna to come get it, she freaked out, assuming he was taking it. And the small, limited space where we sat didn't give her much space to throw a good tantrum, so she tripped over the diaper bag and fell backwards.

Can I just say that girl has a very good set of lungs.

It wasn't ten minutes later when I experienced some major de'ja vu.

I was keeping Alayna distracted when out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Joseph elbowing Jacob repeatedly and with force in the stomach.

Seriously? What's with the violence all of a sudden! And in church of all places! Again, turning my attention to them to break up the fight, Alayna managed to get the disk to shoot off yet again, luckily missing any poor, unsuspecting listeners.

At least we had that much going for us.

I can only hope, oh so fervently hope, that someone out there can tell me that boys fist fighting in church is perfectly normal.

'Cause when I dream, I dream big.

26 super cool people speak:

gigi said...

Oh, Bless your heart!

I witnessed a grown woman punch out another woman in the hall at church. It was about 25 years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday!

Kudo's for even going.

Amanda Joy said...

My kids aren't at the "deck each other" stage yet, but I can imagine how it will be in just a few short years. Abbie purposely aggravates Asher, she will most definitely be the pesky younger sister. Sorry you had to deal with it on your own.

Sarah said...

Those are the kind of BIG dreams I have too! Big, Huge dreams:)

It's no comfort really, but yesterday Jacob was doing full on hand stands into back bends on the bench. That's when I marched right out of the chapel with two other ones following behind us. (Me hubby was trying take the count in sacrament meeting, hence not sitting with me at that particular moment:)

Big Dreams!

Cassie said...

Dang great time to be sick! That would have made me laugh. Don't worry my boys can't sit by each other half the time because they start fighting over something. I am sure they will get into it sometime too!

Tristan said...

Ha. I so feel for you! Sometimes it's an accomplishment to get through Sacrament meeting with no blood drawn. :)

Things we regularly have to do:
1. Separate arguing or even just talking children.
2. Take someone out so everyone else can hear the speakers (or take the sacrament reverently...)
3. Smile and grit our teeth while one child makes loud comments about someones clothing - which is NOT modest according to our family's standards. We're real popular....we've got a few teens and even some moms that dress like "Barbie", quite literally. Yes, it has sleeves and barely hits their knees, but is as form-fitted as they can get it and just makes them look older, not younger. We work on dressing modestly/not to draw attention to our body parts. I'm glad my kids are learning the lessons - maybe it's time to work on speaking kindly and not judging others? LOL

dieMutti said...

See? This is what it is all about - it touches my heart to see/hear about the craziness that is sacrament meeting! We teach them reverence, but sometimes it just backfires. But they will remember we took them, right? Umm... right? :)

We have a sister in our ward (mother of teenagers) who (bless her heart) has made reverence her personal soapbox. She bears her testimony of it monthly, makes comments in relief society, and has given more than one talk about it. Her idea is that if we were all better parents (like her, I guess?) there would be utter silence in sacrament meeting. It has definitely made me feel guilty. Of course I can do better, and we try. But yesterday before I grumped when kid #3 intentionally knocked down kid #4, I realized that my family is happier when we don't force the appearance of perfection. Our Church is about families, kids will be kids, and somehow I still feel the spirit and the truth of what is spoken. And so I kissed kid #4 and sent kid #3 to sit with dad. And I sighed, and then I smiled :)

Sue said...


Reminds me of the good old days when my kids were little and my husband was in the bishopric.

We had some interesting Sundays on my row back then, and the hubs had a front-row seat!


Kristina P. said...

I have a hard enough time keeping my husband on task during church. I don't know how you do it!

Whitney said...

I remember my brother would fold the program into a sharp point, and then fold his arms and use his new weapon to poke me. He looked so innocent, and when I finally smacked him to get him to stop, I was the one who got in trouble. Ah.. Sacrament Meeting....

Carrie said...

I fervantly believe that just GOING to church for 3 hours will bring you eternal salvation. You're good to go;)

Saimi said...

Blame it on the Supermoon we had the other night! Full moons have strange effects on small children and animals.

Brittney said...

haha! You should definitely stay in the front of the room. You're keeping everyone else entertained and awake... which is a very important purpose!

Doran & Jody said...

Muah ha ha ha...I mean, sorry.

Utah Mom said...

I just found your blog (again) today. I love this post because it is so true and makes me feel a little better about our huge battle over the crayons yesterday at church.

My favorite Sacrament Meeting/kid moment ever (wasn't my kid, probably why I love it). The kid on the front row threw his sock and hit the speaker. It so surprised the high councilman that he started to laugh and it took him a minute to get control and finish his talk.

Charlotte said...

Completely normal. Totally. At least for my family. I have seen my out-of-primary age children go at it. Although my favorite is when I don't realize a noise making toy is in the bag until one of the kids finds it and starts playing in the middle of sacrament.

Jess said...

oh, that is the real-deal woman! AHHHHH! I am SO sorry, and do you love how sitting in the front burns holes in your back from stares? I think it keeps kiddo less distracted, but does it? He yells out the names of people he knows who give talks (Bronson's dad!!!!) or say prayers (Hi Jordan!!) or testimonies, or lead the music. And the whole ward waits, I feel, for his loud "AMEN" at the end of prayers. And this is between the marathon of pulling things outta the sack to play with/eat/mutilate quietly as to promote reverence. haha. So awesome that you have something amazingly funny (in hindsight) to document about your family!!)

housewife said...

I am glad, after reading all of these comments to your completely awesome tale of sacrament, that I am not alone in the quest for one Sunday that will run as smooth as butter! I'm not going to repeat my MIL and tell you it will get better...because quite frankly, I don't believe it will! :)

hjsmith said...

My dear Sister(:
I will asure you, your dear sweet boys are not the only ones who fist fight in church(:
Having a year of 5 kids on my own while Josh was deployed I saw and heard it all and wondered why do I the kids get anything out of church...did I(:
Yes it is setting the example and I truely believe, if not hope that will hold big down the road(: fist fights, telling, screaming, sippy cups airborn amongst other items like books etc. Sorry to say but you're not alone(:
It is always worse when you are on your own.
I have been told over and over again that it does get better(: and of course this too shall pass(:(then it will be teenage stuff to deal with, but we wont get there yet(: )
It is a huge blessing having a big family(: We learn alot from our kids and patience is definately a big one(:
Hang in there girl. Thank you for always sharing your stories and keeping it real. It helps to make me feel better knowing it isnt just us who go through it too(:

The Martos Fudge said...

I am sorry you had a hard day at church, being Hubbyless is hard. If it makes you feel better we had a horrible day too. I am ashamed to say I came home after sacrament. It was THAT bad.

ldsjaneite said...

Yep. It's normal for boys. Right through teenage-hood.

This post made me laugh, because I was remembering how they always say you shouldn't yourself to a family that seems perfect at Church, because you don't know what home life is like for them. I guess you don't have to worry about that! And you know I say that with all love and gratitude for the smiles you bring me with your tales of terror. I may not smile as much when my turn comes, but I'll at least be slightly more ready! :-)

Stef said...

Ha. I love it! Mostly because this time it wasn't me. But oh, sister. I have so been there. 4 boys...oh yes. UFC has nothing on us Sacrament attenders.

Mama Smith said...

It sounds like to me...that you need to "institute" the "3 SCOOP" method of handling the kids...We did...and look how you turned out! (smile)

Cheeseboy said...

Well hey, at least you were on time, right?

I love playing with those flying disks. I think it would be cool if the Bishop shot them off the stand during exciting hymns like Called To Serve.

Stacy said...

Hi. My name is Stacy. Allow me to introduce you to my heathens. Enough said.

My nine year old spent half of sacrament meeting this past Sunday doing the ugly cry because we wouldn't let her sit with her siblings. She's even more of a reverence problem than the two year old. And that's saying something, especially since Max's latest sacrament meeting is seeing how loudly he can burp and how many people he can make laugh doing it.

And yes. We've had fistfights. Between my two very dressed up little girls.

And enquiring minds want to know: what's the 3 scoop method?

Garvin Smith said...

I was going to recommend the three scoop principle also, but I see your mom already beat me too it.
Dang! That happens so often!

tomiannie said...

Bahahahahahaha! I just found your blog from your three scoop post and oh my holy moly -- this made me laugh so much. As a mom of three very "active" and "lively" (pronounced: completely irreverent) children, I feel your pain! I can't wait to read more on your blog. Thanks!

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