December 6, 2010

The Santa Card

So, do you think that Alayna coated my kitchen wall in red crayon because she's mad at me? After all, I have had to change her poor, flaming red, sore, burning bum about seven or eight times this morning. Perhaps she just needed an outlet for her pain and frustration?

And after two magic eraser sponges, I'm afraid there is still plenty of red crayon marks to be found.

I wonder if I could order those sponges in bulk? Then I could give them to Alayna for Christmas. It would be better than a lump of coal! Cause' I'm a nice mom like that.

Or perhaps she was just trying to tell us it was time to paint the kitchen?

But it can't be red. My husband is anti-red kitchen walls.


So, I finally pulled the Santa card on my kids the other night. I know, it was a cruel thing to do. But I was just downright desperate, so I did.

And it totally backfired.

It was about 5:30pm of a rather long and difficult day. The kids were bickering and crying, and I was having a devil of a time trying to keep them out of the snacks since they were all hungry.

Finally deciding not to wait for daddy, I dished up their dinner plates hoping a full tummy would calm some of the rather interesting combination of emotions that were shooting all over the kitchen like fireworks.

But the fighting, crying and whining continued on and I was getting desperate. Finally I pulled my last card.

Sighing dramatically, I put down my fork and rather mournfully said, "I just don't know if Santa will make it to our house this year. He only brings presents to good little boys and girls."

The boys instantly ceased fighting and started advocating how they were good boys and how they don't fight and the always listen. *insert rolling of the eyes here*

Savannah, on the other hand, burst into tears, again, and said, "You don't understand! You never understand. It's just so hard! It's just so hard to be a kid!"

Savannah kept on crying and soon the boys were arguing over which one the them was "good-er" as Alayna smeared her potatoes all over the table.

And so, I humbly come before you to offer what words of warning wisdom that I can to make your life just a little bit better. 

Use the Santa card sparingly.

Just sayin'.

19 super cool people speak:

Renee said...

I can totally picture all the kids doing that. LOL :) Miss you guys!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

'nuff said.

Scrappy Girl said...

Dinner time is always chaos for us. I have played the Santa card...and it worked.

The Martos Fudge said...

I have had my share of rainbow walls. And I have to say it... Ready... Don't laugh it really does work. PEANUT BUTTER with a sponge will removed it all. ITS amazing. Try it with the rest of the red... I even got pen out of lather couch with that stuff. Along with a mixture of other things, but it helped. I have pulled the Santa Card at our house too. My son just tells me all the times he cleaned his room and wiped the fridge.

Royalbird said...

Last year we played the Santa card and my oldest son just said (in response to getting coal), "Well, I'll just play with the coal then. That'll show Santa!"

Good luck! I have exhausted many a Magic Eraser cleaning crayon off walls. That is one thing that Magic Eraser doesn't always seem to help with!

Wonder Woman said...

I've pulled the Santa card once this year, but I did it with hesitation. Sorry it backfired for you!

I think what I'm going to do is use two little santa pouches I have and if the kids are good, santa's "helpers" will give them a piece of candy the next morning. Or if they're bad, maybe it'll be a note saying, "remember to share."

I dunno. Husband isn't thrilled about lying to our kids, but I'm one of santa's helpers, right?

p.s. do you read Lara @ Overstuffed? Lots of great xmas ideas.

Sarah said...

Oh, poor kids. I would have cried too at that age. :( It's just so real to them. Savannah's right - it's hard to be a kid. She's smart, that one. :)

T said...

Colgate - the original stuff... not the gel crap - but it's a wonder for removing crayon!

and we apparently have Santa on speed dial because just picking up the phone gets them to quiet down this time of year!

Patty Ann said...

Oh, I so feel for you! The santa card never worked on my kids either. I did discover something that makes dinner time peaceful though. We bought a large roll of butcher paper. I have lots of crayons in a bowl and I put the butcher paper on the table for the holidays. They color and draw on the paper until it is too messy and than I take it off and throw it away and put new paper on the table. The kids love it and even my big kids still color on the paper when they come to visit. It is a family tradition born out of desparation. Try it. It just might work for you too!

Larsen said...

Catelyn would say the same kidn of thing.


Amy said...

lol! No, we don't understand, do we?

You know what my parents used to do? They used to "call" Santa Claus. I don't know who it was they were actually calling, but whenever we were misbehaving, they'd get someone with a very Santa-like voice on the phone.

I don't remember if that ever worked.

M-Cat said...

Just this morning I watched Sissy put a purple chalk handprint on my wall. Not 10 seconds after I told her to put the chalk away before she got it my walls!

Garden of Egan said...

Savannah seems to be like the total drama queen. I can hardly wait to see what it's like when she's 13.

Poor little Alayna. I wonder how she is going to like the magic eraser in her stocking.

Momza said...

LOL @ Egan's comment..."magic eraser in her stocking"!!!
Just be glad they still believe in Santa!

Neisha said...

haha! Oh Savannah!

Cheeseboy said...

Wow, the drama with girls. Thankfully (sometimes) I have only boys.

There's nothing wrong with pulling the Santa card. I honestly think that is what he is there for, for us parents to play his card. It trumps everything.

Sue said...

This post is delightful, Serene. And so are you!


PS. And, I suspect, your children...


Eliza said...

You are such a funny writer with such a refreshingly real but not too negative. I have stalked your blog for awhile now after your comments on my brother's blogs (don't do dumb things and braden bell) Anyway, your little alayna is so dang cute but oh my gosh I cannot believe what a mess maker she is. I have three crazy kids but wow none of them have even come close to what that little munchkin does. You are an amazing mom! good luck with the crayon.

Lara said...

So I tried using it on Sophia the other night and it totally didn't work. I told her Santa wasn't going to like what she was doing and she immediately interrupted and said, "No! JESUS! Jesus isn't going to like it. Not SANTA!"

I guess she told me.

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