September 20, 2010

It's Monday. Don't read this.

I had big plans for today, big plans!

I was in bed by 10pm last night with my alarm set for 5am. My list of things that desperately need to get done sat next to my alarm.

Oh ya, big plans.

It was about midnight when I awoke to Joseph trying to climb into bed with us. Luke tried to tell him he needed to go back to his own bed.

"I tan't", he answered, "Weetub frew up eveweewhere." (translation: I can't, Jacob threw up everywhere)

Luke managed to get up and walk him back to his room.

A few seconds later, he comes back. "Serene, I need your help." Groaning, I more or less swan dive out of bed and staggered my way over see the damage.

Now, I've seen a lot of nasty things in my limited time. But I can honestly say, I wasn't prepared for this.

The boys have been sharing a queen mattress that belongs to our neighbor. They don't use it and so we've kept it at our house for when company comes over. But Joseph's twin mattress also resides in the same room. They just think it's cool to sleep together on the big mattress.

So, I walk into their room and gasp. Throw up covered... no, coated the two pillows at the top of the mattress, small amounts spread and smeared all over the sheets and blankets. A perfect pile of even more regurgitated food, sat waiting for me over on the twin mattress as well.

I started to step into the room when my foot encountered even more. At least, I assumed it was throw up that was squished and strewn all over the carpet until I noticed the guilty underwear.

Suddenly, I wasn't so sure it was throw up.

While Luke washed the boys, I started the laundry. Once everything was stripped clean and the mattresses dowsed  in disinfectant spray, I set about with rubber gloves, a bowl of soapy water, and a rag and scrubbed the carpet clean.

Then I vacuumed and proceeded to soak the carpet in disinfectant spray.

Finally, everything, including the boys, was scrubbed clean.

We leaned the mattresses up against the wall to dry and made a makeshift bed on the floor where it was dry for the boys.

It was over an hour later when I crawled back into bed, head pounding from the headache that started to creep its way out from behind my eyes.

Not two minutes after I closed my eyes, I hear gagging noises making their way to my room. I sat up quickly, head screaming in protest, and flipped on the light. Jacob was standing there, his head tipped up doing his best not to throw up everywhere. So I quickly led him to the bathroom where he continued to dry heave for a minute. Poor kid.

All was quiet until about 4am. I heard the gagging again.

Flying out of bed, I ran to the bathroom to find both boys dry heaving over the toilet.

After I put them back to bed again, I prayed that that was the last of it. And I was so sure they were going to sleep in this morning.

When I finally made it back to sleep, I was blissfully unaware of anything until Luke rolled over and announced it was 7:40am.

Great, I was the one who slept in. Throwing off the covers, I leapt out of bed to go get Savannah up for school. Alayna was already awake and by the time I got Savannah up and dressed, who came out of the bedroom, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?

Yup, the boys. How in the name of a bad night's sleep do they managed to jump out of bed as if nothing had happened?

I'm sitting here at my computer, looking like something the cat dragged in. I hear putting a cold spoon under you eyes helps the bags go away. I may just have to try it.

I'm sure this is not something you wanted to read this morning, but I felt I should record it.

Because when my boys are older and decide that I'm just not a cool mom (however unlikely that may be :)  I'm going to read this post to them.

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure this demonstrates unconditional love.

And now, I'm going deduct my services from their future allowance.

*Update: Jacob just threw up grape juice all over the carpet.

It's going to be a good day.

I can tell.

26 super cool people speak:

Jackie said...

I am going to copy and past this post to my blog, it's uncanny, I had the EXACT same night.

Mine started at midnight, included poop in the shower, sheet washing (and tent washing...because yes, he was sleeping in a tent)

Jealous that yours is over. He still dry heaves every hour or so.

Hang in there girl. Maybe we could at least let them all play together while we sleep, it's not like we have to worry about it spreading :)

Get some rest.

Sue said...

Ah, sweet memories! I always used to put mine to bed with a spit-up bowl. (We used the tall green plastic one that was actually a tupperware lettuce crisper.) Needless to say, I could never quite get myself to crisp any lettuce in it!


PS. Start having everyone drink a full glass of Welch's grape juice (not the white one) at every meal. That will usually stop the spread, because it changes the ph to one that isn't friendly to stomach flu bugs.

PPS. Good luck!

Scrappy Girl said...


I hate times like that. Yuck. Hope they are all better and that you get to take a N.A.P.

Cassie said...

So is that a no to me asking if you want to do pictures tonight?? Just kidding I wasn't going to ask that. Just so you know I am extremly good at photoshop if that happens on picture day, I get asked about extreme things to get rid of, bags under eyes are nothing! ;)

Seriously though I have had those days, I feel sorry for you and don't wish that on anyone! If the neighbor reads this she might not want the mattress back.

Kristina P. said...

It's days like this that I seriously question if I will ever have children.

Neisha said...

ugh! We had a night where we had to shampoo the carpet. not fun in the middle of the night.
hope you get some time to nap today!

Lisa said...

Oh, I just don't know what to say, except that I AM SO GLAD IT'S NOT ME ANYMORE!!!! Bless you for taking your turn and helping me to laugh on Monday morning. :):):)

One Cluttered Brain said...

UGH. That sounds just as entertaining as encouraging my Non-writing daughter to complete 5 stories before 3 oclock in the afternoon....
i know I know not throw up but trying to get HER to HARD....
She just doesn't wanna....
Is she even my daughter?
GRape juice??
You deserve a time out girl!
Chocolate+ bubble bath = Serene.

Jess said...

Dude, that's gross! Soo soo nasty. And I am truly sorry.

Patty Ann said...

Oh Serene, I am so, so sorry. (glad it's not me!) But so sorry for you! Hope all is better tonight and that no one else gets sick!!

Meagan said...

Wow. Good work Serene. And I do really think that you should show your boys this when they get old and "too cool" for Mom. Hopefully they'll sleep tonight.

kelly said...

On the contrary, I'm glad I did read this. Makes my meager migraine yesterday seem so much less terrible. ... Even though it stinks that this happened to you. And your boys. Oh, and the mattress.

(BTW Found your blog from MMB)

Stacy said...

Oh wow. Just wow. If I had to be cleaning that up, there would be one more person vomiting, I'm just sayin.

And I'm also feeling grateful that it's just me that's sick at my house, because it's easier to take care of a sick me and stay in arm's reach of my inhaler than it is to take care of sick, whiney kids.

Good luck.

Michelle said...

Bobbie just called, and we all had identical nights...Whatever it was, showed up on Saturday while we were all happily playing together. Yuck.

M-Cat said...

Oh MY HECK! Puke is the ONE, the ONE thing I can't do! Poop everywhere? Okay. But not the puking.

You are a strong woman!

ldsjaneite said...

Well, having been a victim to a few bouts of food poisoning, a stomach virus or two, and all my lovely stomach "episodes," I'd diagnose stomach virus and say lucky you that only those two got it and the other 4 of you didn't. But then, where DID that morning energy come from?! I'm out for the count after any one of those 3! Great job at being an awesome mom. You have my testimonial if the boys ever dare question that you are.

Amy said...

Ugh, I am so sorry. Yeah, I know it's not my fault, but this was just a bad, bad night for you guys. Wow. Poop and throw-up. It just doesn't get any worse.

Parenthood... I have so much to look forward to, don't I.

Amber said...

What the world? Did this virus like hop from me to Jackie to you? We had the same thing this last weekend. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

But I'm really glad I read your version. It had a lot less swearing than mine.

; )

Lara said...

Motherhood is so thankless sometimes. Poor you. Poor kiddos! Here's hoping it's a quick one that DOESN'T spread all through your house!

Mama Smith said...

Oh...I am so sorry...Wish I could live closer to you...for times like this...........

Garden of Egan said...

You poor thing.
I hope you still got a few things done.........besides laundry.

I sooooo remember those days.
I'm pretty sure I spent 10 years in a coma from lack of sleep.

Anonymous said...


THAT is just the worst!!! I am still trying to determine if it is better for ALL the children to have it TOGETHER....or ONE at a time! After our similar week...I think the carpet is HISTORY! When the direction changes...the disgusting carseats just have to wash...over and over!

Hope ALL of you are BETTER!!

:D Maria

Kristin at My Art and the Mom in Me said...

Aw, man...

Unconditional Love is what that is. for sure.

Braden said...

Ohhhhh!!!!! Been there so many times. You have my sympathy!!!

Charlotte said...

Throw up (with some other end stuff mixed in): the bane of a mother's existence. Once I instituted the "you clean your own barf" rule they make it the toilet more often. But sometimes there "clean up" is worse than the original mess.

Teachinfourth said...

Wow, quite the adventurous time there…hope everybody is back up to normal soon. You, my friend, are a trooper...

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