August 9, 2010

Someone spiked the Cheerios

*insert image of me sprawled out on the couch, arms and legs dangling in all directions, pressing an ice pack to my head and throwing candy wrappers on the floor*

I'm still recovering from yesterday. I swear someone spiked the Cheerios.

Church was THAT bad.

Don't ask. It's better that way.

Just trust me.

And who's bright idea was it to bless them with such strong lungs?

I fail to see the wisdom. I'm going to need hearing aids by the time I'm thirty.

I think I'll swing by the church tonight to see if I can scrap up some my parental confidence that the kids managed to squish into the upholstery of the pew.

Or maybe that was just cracker crumbs?

*moving ice pack from head to jaw*

My jaw is still popping from Alayna's head-butt during prayer.

At least it wasn't my nose this time.

*sigh*

Okay well... enough of that! It's a gorgeous day today, cool and overcast with a breeze. It's just down-right heavenly so...

*dragging flabby carcass off of couch*

...time to be productive and all that.

Wish me luck.


Oh nuts... WHO SQUISHED THE BLASTED STRAWBERRIES!?!?

23 super cool people speak:

Teachinfourth said...

Wow, church is never that exciting for me. Sounds like you have the monopoly on excitement and torture.

Lucky you.

Gina said...

The head butts to the face are the worst. I swear I have fissures all over my cheekbones from them.

Amanda Joy said...

Sounds like how my 17 month old daughter Abbie is. She is to the point now that, even though she is dead tired because church is always during nap time, she won't sleep. As soon as I head out to rock her to sleep she does the dead fish body drag, but squwaks and screams the whole way. She knows that if I make it out, she will miss everything, especially the Sacrament Hymns. How can she possibly dance, if she can't hear the music? I am glad that Abbie is the only one:)

Amanda Joy said...

I meant to say, I am glad that Abbie ISN'T the only one. I am really okay if she doesn't have a chokehold on that market:)

Cherie said...

The headbutt in the face instantly made my jaw hurt - I remember getting a few of those! Hope today is a better one for you :-D

Wonder Woman said...

The Hulk threw a royal at church yesterday, too. We went to use the bathroom just before sacrament, but then he didn't want to wait to go back in. Cried on the floor. It was after the rest hymn when we finally were able to go back in.

Full moon, maybe?

Saimi said...

Those headbutts are the worst, ouch!

Just remember the scriptures say, "It came to Pass" this too will come to pass...if you can hang in that long! Something about enduring to the end?

Hugs!

Kristina P. said...

We must secretly be in the same ward. There were a lot of angry kids yesterday!

One Cluttered Brain said...

ay yi yi.
Squished strawberries?
I am sending you some of Tauna's awesome chocolate RIGHT away.

:)

Stacy said...

Hi, I'm Stacy. Allow me to re-introduce you to my children, and the story of Max single-handedly bringing down my entire ward in the period of one sacrament meeting. Enough said.

Scrappy Girl said...

Ok you just reminded me why I should be embracing this vacation away from my hubby and 3 little blessings! Hope you can find the motivation.

Cassie said...

Sounded like a good day to miss because it seems like all kids are rowdy on the same day! ;)

Sorry I totally feel your pain most of the time we are there!

M-Cat said...

Sounds like we had a similar church story. I am just glad to know that it eventually gets better.

oh wait - no it doesn't. My 21 year old texted the entire time during sunday school.

*sigh*

Sue said...

When I saw your post, I was reading along at a pretty good clip until the part about "dragging your flabby carcass off the couch." At that point, I started laughing, because my mind automatically read it this way:

(carc)ass.

I am ashamed of myself. Apparently, I need a few Sundays in a row to get my language in order. I blame my sons for these occasional lapses.

;)

the fowlers said...

i admire anyone who can get up and dressed and hangs in there through all of church - kids or not. you're practically a saint just for showing up.

Lara said...

At least you were there....

Patty Ann said...

Just remember Serene that it could always be worse! My son once screamed at the top of his lungs as I drug him out during Sacrament, "Help me Bishop, she is going to beat me!!!" Yeah, those were so NOT the days! Glad it is your turn!

The Martos Fudge said...

Oh... Church, that place we go every Sunday, and not learn much... My child screams from the moment I put her dress on till the moment I take it out. JUST LOVELY...

Cheeseboy said...

Oh, I have received a church head butt to the lip and it then started bleeding all over my white shirt.

And that was from my wife!

Okay, my four year old.

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Oi, I feel ya. Been there. I feel like we need to bring our whole kitchen to sacrament to appease the toddler. :P

Garden of Egan said...

I hope you get over the hangover!
Bless your heart.
I remember the days when I wondered why I was in church.....as did everyone else.

Charlotte said...

Just make sure you get to the cheerios first next time. Soak them in benadryl or something. I mean if they're going to be spiked, make sure it is in the right direction!

Those are the weeks where I console myself that at least I provided the entertainment for the 70 minutes...

Braden said...

Just keep repeating--when they are adolescents, you will have your revenge by embarrassing them severely with everything you do!

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