July 14, 2010

The "Perfect" Family?

Sometimes people say strange things. Granted, so do I.

And I know they mean it in the nicest way possible, or as a compliment.

But I have to wonder sometimes too. Did they stop to think about what they just said? Granted, sometimes I don't.

Besides being accused of NOT knowing where babies come from, there has been one thing that I have been hearing more and more often. You ready for this?

K, here it goes.

They say: "Two boys and two girls? Oh what a perfect family!"
I think: Good thing they don't know what my house looks like right now!"


They say: Oh wow, two boys and two girls! You have the perfect family!"
I think: Well, you obviously missed the cat fight that took place on isle six."

Perfect family? Apparently having an even number of boys vs girls makes you the perfect family!

Gosh, I guess it really is easy to be considered perfect after all! Who knew?

It's funny since my husband and I got that a lot when we had just our first two.

"You have a boy and a girl! That's perfect! Now you guys can be done!"

I must have missed the memo that it was necessary to have both genders before you can be done having kids.

But I guess with having TWO of each gender, people don't even bother asking if we are done anymore, they just assume we are.

See, I come from a "perfect" family of four boys and four girls. My husband on the other hand comes from a "not-perfect" family of seven boys and two girls.

See how that works!

Yea... me either.

But it would seem we are constantly flopping back and forth between perfection and imperfection.

Not Perfect


Perfect


Not perfect


Perfect


And someday, we will no longer be considered the perfect family. And I think it will be great!

Heaven forbid we mess up our perfect family. *gasp*

This message is brought to you by the "No, I am NOT pregnant foundation" where we really do know where babies come from.

38 super cool people speak:

Sarah loves it all said...

Now you've got my head spinning with genetics and math equations! Isn't it so funny how landing a seemlessly unlikely outcome of gender probability somehow means you've won the genetic lottery? I find myself saying things like that to people too! What does that mean for my family's 3 to 2 ratio? My parent's must have messed up somewhere... ;)

Cherie said...

Great post and it is funny how the world views things.
It's been going on a long time too.
I got this same stuff when I was a young mother also. My oldest 2 children - a boy and a girl - I would take to the mall or where ever and I would get the "Oh how perfect you have a boy and a girl - I guess you are done". Huh??? What??? I don't think so. It always astounded me that people would think the family was complete just because you had one of each sex.
Then I had another 2 kids - a girl then a boy. Two of each now.
Then I had another boy and just astonished them all! Ha Ha

Garden of Egan said...

Ya, try getting that comment from your own mother when we had baby #2"Oh, you have a boy and a girl, now be done will ya?"
I kid not.

Our family ended up NOT being perfect. I always thought it was the way I had parented. Glad to know it's because we have 2 girls and 3 boys.
Whew.

T said...

we're just imperfection all around... my fam 5 girls, 4 boys. M.O.T.H.'s fam - 8 boys, 3 girls and us... with our imperfect 3 boys and 2 girls...

and my friend... me thinks thou dost protest too much! (but smart to clear up the pregnancy rumor before it started - next time you can just post a picture of the negative line on the clear blue easy)

Katherine said...

Yeah, I think you're pregnant. It's been WAY too long.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Perfect, not perfect. I love it. Here in Pennsylvania "perfect" strangers used to tell me that I had "the million dollar family" when I had just one boy and one girl. I realized that for every child you add after that, people start to deduct $250,000 from that figure, because no one says that to us anymore!

TEAM LINDSAY said...

We just had baby #2, a little girl, and folks have been telling us we're the "perfect little family" ever since the 20-week gender ultrasound (since we have an older son). And yes, everyone assumes you are done once you have one of each. Hmmm... not so sure about that :P

Acting Balanced Mom said...

I'm working on upsetting the applecart... i only have another few months to enjoy my 'perfect' family of 2 before adding another boy to the mix... oh well... we'll never be perfect again... perfection is so overrated...

Gina said...

Totally brilliant. People are so weird. I can't believe how many people think that more than 2 kids is a lot!

Don't get me wrong, I am quite sure that 4 kids is tough, but, really? Just two generations ago that was below the national average. What has happened to us?

Sorry to rant in your comment section. Your family is perfect, but not for the reasons people think :)

Holly said...

I haven't been perfect since my first 2!! Biologically I really got unbalanced... 1 girl and 3 boys! Put yours, mine & ours together and we have 6 boys and 4 girls... WAIT!! That means I messed up hubby's BALANCE; as he had 3 of each before I came along... UGH!! I'm ALWAYS messing things up!! GAH!!

Good thing WE finally figured out where they come from!! We stopped at the 10 Commandments instead of going for the Baker's Dozen!! LOL!!

Lisa said...

I am totally screwed. Three boys, one girl. WHAT TO DO? I'll have to adopt. I know, when you screw up YOUR perfect family by having another, I'll adopt it...if it's a girl. Or twin girls. Thereby making my family just right and keeping YOURS perfect also. Good plan?

Kristine said...

I get it too. I had 5 girls in a row. I hear all the time "God Bless You!" to which I reply, "He has". Or "Are you going to try again, for a boy?", or my favorite it "Now all you need is a boy!". This sends me over the edge because 9 times out of 10 my son is standing right next to me. But because he's the oldest (17), with 5 small sisters, people tell me we need a "baby" boy. To which I reply, "I know what its like to have a baby boy. He was one once." I guess once they're teens they don't see the gender thing anymore. We are by far the perfect family, so you won't be alone :)

Sue said...

So true and so funny. Sometimes I think people just mouth platitudes without thinking. I know I do.

I am going to work on speaking a little more mindfully in the future...and maybe just observing how often I say one of these types of things to someone...

People are odd creatures, aren't we?

=)

Kami said...

Too funny! Perfect, not perfect, perfect?! I get that alot with just having 2 kids; a boy and girl. Heaven totally forbid that I too will mess up this 'perfect' family! Haha! You're so funny!

Stacy said...

Well, I have two girls, one boy, and one as-yet-to-be-determined baby. Since we're not finding out until the baby's birthday, I guess I still have a chance to have the perfect family.

And I always thought the perfect family would be one that never fought, always had clean clothes, and clenaed up every mess they made without being asked. Now that I say that, I think I'd rather have the second kind of perfect family...

Valerie said...

Enjoy your perfect family while you can! :) We are an imperfect family since I have two girls and one boy. My youngest is still telling me we need another boy so I guess she agrees with those people. She doesn't seem to get it that I'm not having a baby girl or boy as long as I'm single now. :)

Royalbird said...

I've been told before too that even-more-perfect would be having the boys first then the girls, so they can be the good big brothers we know they'll be and watch out for their sisters. At least, in theory I guess that's how it's supposed to work.

I have five brothers and they didn't care who I dated or "look out" for me. And the guy I married could beat any one of my brothers up, so I guess that theory doesn't always pan out.

But your family is still perfectly adorable!

Anonymous said...

Well, so much for my GREAT guess of thinking you were expecting. I was acutally wondering that the other day...June has passed..

You DO have a perfect family because it grew from a love that has grown and on a path back to our Heavenly Father. Interesting to see how many chidren you will be blessed with along the journey.

Love Maria

iamwoman said...

I get that too! People really are silly..although I think I have even caught myself saying, "a boy and girl...oh that is so nice!" is that the same thing? oh gosh I hope not!

ldsjaneite said...

Word to my not perfect family!

Cluttered Brain said...

Hooray for your perfect family!
Love it!

Amber said...

When I get the "do you know where babies come from?" I just respond "Yes, and I like it!" Works every time.

Anyway.

I'm working on keeping my family absolutely perfect by having twins each time I get pregnant, one girl and one boy. I'm pretty sure my plan is the best ever. Plus, perfection is totally my thing.

: )

Saimi said...

Hmmm, we must have done something wrong when we stopped at three boys...NOT....

People do say crazy things, my boys are very close in age and when the third one was still an infant a lady came up to me and said, "Are you going to try for a girl next time?"

I'm like, "Lady, I ain't trying for anything!"

OK so I didn't really say that, but I thought it!

Shultzybabe said...

So next time just pop out twins. One boy and one girl. ;) I'll never be perfect. 3 girls and one little boy on the way for us. That's it. We are done after this one gets here. We'll never reach perfection. Oh well.

The Martos Fudge said...

Oh good I can finally sleep now. Knowing that I have a perfect family... And here I am trying sooooo hard to ruin it all.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Yes well see I've got a perfect family right now and I don't like to mess with perfect, so I'll let you do that mmmmm k? :)

Mama Smith said...

Whew....I knew we were the "perfect f-a-m-i-y"!!!!! (smile)

Mama Smith said...

OPPS! Ha...Ha...I didn't even SPELL FAMILY right....(smile)

Braden said...

This is why we have five children. We had 2 boys and a girl. We then added two more boys trying to get a girl. That was a joke the universe played on us, though. We finally wised up. Now we are imperfect and happily so. The end.

Angel Day said...

Did someone tell you, you didn't know where babies came from, before or after you had kids?

Evelyn @ Hanging by a Silver Lining said...

We must be meeting the same people! Haha! Great post as always Serene! Just...perfect. hee hee

M-Cat said...

Sheesh - I've been wondering where my family fit into the "perfect" world and I can see now that we are not. 3 boys. So imperfect!
And I wouldn't have it any other way! : )

Kazzy said...

Whenever I used to go and get manicures the ladies would make a big deal over me having 4 boys. "Good luck, 4 boy!" they would yell. LOL

It's hard to know what is perfect, because it is different to each and every person.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Angel, it was after when they all started coming so quickly!

missy said...

I'm soo glad to know that I measure up to someones idea of perfection. Two girls followed by two boys for us. We get that "perfect" thing all the time and our kids aren't that young anymore. My other favorite question is "Why do you have four kids?" -- "Because I didn't want 5! " How crazy is that question. Sheesh. Love your blog.

Ben, Heather and kids said...

haha.. great post!

we had 4 kids (2 boys, 2 girls.. gasp... perfect) in under 4 years. so we've heard everything under the sun (about our spacing, the genders, the amount of kids, you name it). the whole thing makes me roll my eyes, grit my teeth, pull my hair...

(after hearing over and over if we knew where babies came, i'd often reply, "No, but we're having fun trying to figure it out!"

Brenick said...

well hey, if i had 2 boys, 2 girls.. my hubby would be getting snipped. it sounds perfect to me!! i dont know if i will make it to four though, if god gives me ANOTHER BOY, then i am done. a woman can only handle so much. lol.

The Wifey said...

We have an "imperfect" family and I love it. I actually got asked why we didn't have any boys today at the post office. "3 girls huh? Didn't you want a boy? Are you going to try for another boy?" Sheesh. I am happy with my 3 girls and little "imperfect" family thanks.

BTW...your family pictures are adorable!

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