March 23, 2010

The Conqueror or The Conquered?

It was to be Batman's proudest moment.

He was going to show the world that he was just as brave and strong as the average, everyday female.

But not everyone can wield the power of the mighty curling iron.


It takes skill, cunning, bravery, and hours upon hours of hot, grueling practice, usually with a member of the male species looking over your shoulder who taps his feet and impatiently asks, "are you ready yet?"  

This is just the first level of difficulty.
Once you have mastered the skill of selective hearing, you must then learn focus. 

This is done by learning to deal with mini people clinging to your legs, screaming your name, and even biting your toes in an attempt to divide your focus. 

If they are successful and you burn your neck, you will bear the mark of your failure as you venture forth only to hear people snicker behind your back as the word "hicky" is whispered.

Indeed, this is an art that takes years to master. 

But even then the curling iron is only as good as the the hands that use it in combination with the hairspray that turns your smooth counter top into a rough surface upon which you can sharpen your kitchen knives.

All this is done in an effort to conquer the hairy enemy.

 

Batman put of a good fight alright. He gave it his all. He tried and he tried. 

But in the end, the one solid truth that has ultimate power in the dividing force between the conqueror and the conquered stood between him and ultimate victory.


He is male. 

For woman alone has the power and skill to wield the mighty curling iron.

No children were injured in the creating of this post. The curling iron was off. Do no call social services. You will only end up looking foolish.

15 super cool people speak:

CAMI said...

Love it! Very cute kids Serene!

Linda said...

Purses and curling irons? The sun needs to hurry and come out so that kid can get out!! :-)

M-Cat said...

I feel for batman. I can barely master the curling iron, or flat iron myself.

Wonder Woman said...

Hilarious! Also, I have the same curling iron. I love it. Heats up fast and gets so hot. Awesome.

Garden of Egan said...

So darling!
No I wouldn't call CPS on you...you should have seen what have done to my spawn.
Love it!

Sarah loves it all said...

OK- you amaze me. Your posts are genius. I love how you take everyday things and turn them into super fantastic posts. Some day I'm hoping you'll teach me. Also, I love the empty toilet paper roll in the background.

Jessica G. said...

I wonder what my son would think of my flat iron - he may try to fry burgers with it. Actually...that's such a bad idea...

Charlotte said...

Too, too funny. I have yet to perfect the art myself. Loved the hairspray comment, nothing like realizing your bathroom is coated an inch deep in it.

Sue said...

Clever post! (Don't tell anyone, but I'm not too good at wielding a curling iron either...)

Thanks for your kind comment on my blog. I'll be back to visit yours again. (I like being entertained, and yours fits the bill!)

=)

Amber said...

HA!! I haven't mastered it yet, either!! I'm all about the au natural look. (Meaning: I put in the gel and hope I don't look like I just rolled out of bed.)

pennylutz said...

Love it!

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Hahaha, loooooooooooove this! I remember being 9 years old and curling my brother's hair and putting him in a dress. Poor thing, haha!!!

I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

Once again, you have dazzled me with your wit and hilarity!!! lol! so cute! My son wears a superman cape everywhere. It irritates my mom. But I LOVE it. SO cute.

And thanks for the cocoa flavored hugs! I need them! LOL!

Tonya @ Live the Adventure said...

Too cute! I normally just blow dry and go (when I have an awesome cut that is) but this week I wanted something a little special. Don't you know I burned my forehead! Owwwch!

Rachel Sue said...

HA! It reminds me of watching the neighbor boy barely be able to walk around in one of my daughter's dress ups. He just wasn't built to walk in a dress.

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