There I was, perfectly happy and content to live my simple little life, frolicking around in the realm of my imagination with the cutest little rose colored glasses adorning my nose as I looked out at all that lay before me.
But Something had a different plan in mind. She found me early on in the bliss of my innocence and happiness. I could feel it's slimy hands pick me up and bring to it's gaping jaws and razor sharp teeth.
Before I could yell for help, I was plunged into warm, wet darkness. I could feel it chewing, gnawing on my head, blissfully unaware of the amount of pain it was causing as its drool ran down my little body.
And yet, it seemed to be enjoying my discomfort as my rose colored glasses were swallowed whole and the fragments of my imagination were scattered in the wind.
But I held on... barely. I could feel the threads of my sanity dangling in the air as I was left hanging, completely helpless.
I finally couldn't take it anymore. I could feel myself being stretched beyond the limits of comfort, beyond the limits of discomfort, and into a world that only Elastigirl understands.
I knew at any moment, I would snap.
And snap I did. With all my might I broke free from my slobbering captor as I fought back like Indiana Jones' whip delivering justice with a sting that bumblebees can only dream about.
But the damage to me and my little self was too great, I could not fully escape its iron grip. After a brief session of relief, I was once again plunged into wet, slobbery darkness.
Don't they know there's only so much one poor lowly little indestructible boneless lizard can take!?
And that Mister Director was my first lead role. The film "Danger in the Toy Box" was a big hit! My whole family watched it! And believe me, that's a lot of lizards!
So if you could please consider me in your next film, "Terror in the Toilet" I would be honored.
Yours faithfully and soon to be major star,