Just uncovered! Lost pages to the coveted Mommy Manuel have recently been discovered! Treasure hunters still seek for the book that will make them the richest human being ever! For all mommies would buy it if it were ever to be found.
- Kids love to be naked. So you will find yourself chasing a buck naked almost four-year old, who happens to be laughing hysterically, over the couch and through the kitchen, down the hall and into the bedroom closet. Its inevitable. Try not to fight it. It will make the workout easier.
- You WILL be excited when your sick and dehydrated baby finally drinks enough to soak her diaper, her pants, and your shirt. So excited in fact that you will inform your husband about it with a big smile on your face while squeezing your baby tight until it finally dawns on you that it would be a good idea to stop with the squeezing. It's only making the wet spot bigger.
- When you are dancing like a silly monkey on a sugar high with your kids around the kitchen and you happen to leave your curtains open and your neighbors happen to see you, you have no one to blame but yourself.
- Don't let the guilt get to you. Accidentally spilling that whole pan of freshly made mac n' cheese into the sink was just an accident! It was only 87 cents. Of course, with that much money you could have bought a chocolate bar. Never mind, feel guilty. Feel very guilty.
- Count your blessings. At least your two year old is chewing on all his siblings toothbrushes instead of yours! Oh, and that one old toothbrush that you use for cleaning? Ya, ummm... count your blessings that your baby didn't grow horns after finding and chewing on THAT toothbrush a while ago.
- Try to understand. Cleanliness begets messiness. Messiness begets nastyness. Nastyness begets cleanliness. Cleanliness begets messiness. Messiness begets nastyness. Nastyness begets cleanliness.... Its a lose/lose situation. But the feeling you get for the two minutes that the cleanliness lasts will be enough to hook you and make you want to try it again sometime.
- The secret to being the ultimate mommy, the best cook, and the greatest housekeeper, is also the key to having most well behaved, obedient, helpful, and polite children. And that is
We will keep you updated on the progress of any other discoveries made. If you would like to become involved in the cause, contact Serene. She will be happy to accept any donations, especially big ones. Free babysitting is also an acceptable donation.
P.S. I so appreciate everyone's comments regarding my dad. I truly, do. I tried responding to most of the comments through email but a lot of your profiles have a "no-reply" email address so I don't think most of you got them. Sorry.