November 19, 2009

Mom, it's all your fault

Its true, the dentist said so.

And quite frankly, I don't think its fair that I am the one who has the mouth full of cavities while my husband walks away torture free.

Granted we each had to sell a kidney in our early years of marriage to be able to pay for the dental work his teeth needed, but that was years ago. I'm the one who brushes regularly! Then the dentist had to ask the question. How good at you are flossing?

Well, pish, you know... good... it depends... on your opinion of what good is. I may not floss every night, but I floss!

Still, the five cavities and three potentials were hiding in between my
teeth, hoping to escape notice. Never mind that my plaque was impressively minimal and my gums were the epitome of health. Nope. That tiny piece of mint flavored string ruined it all.

Then I had to argue that Luke never flosses! (okay, I'm exaggerating)

That's when I found out that it's all my moms fault. Evil bacteria is genetic. Poor Joseph has two cavities. One that will probably require numbing. Poor kid. Apparently he had some defects in those teeth. Deep groves or something.

In a nut shell, I have a high maintenance mouth. I would say that Luke has a low one but his gold tooth says otherwise. Perhaps we could pull it out and sell it! What do you say Luke?

If you are completely grossed out by now, well I can only say its your own fault. You're the one who kept reading.

(sigh) I was then feeling a deep need for chocolate. A very deep need. But the dentist bill was enough to forgo spending a dollar on my deep, never ending need to creamy milk yumminess. So I came home and promptly started scouring my cupboards for anything. All I could find was cocoa powder. So I hopped on the Internet. Pretty soon, I found a Chocolate Shortbread Cookie recipe. I happen to like shortbread and I happen to like chocolate, just in case you didn't notice.

I made up the recipe and tasted the dough. Have you ever poured out a dry chocolate cake or brownie mix and then picked up a clump and popped it into your mouth? (if you haven't I would have to wonder if all your metal facilities are in working order) Well, it tasted kind of like that, only soft and moist. I liked it! So I kept eating it.

Now that I've had my fill, I have no desire to try and cook it. I think I'd rather just eat the dough. Still, I'll post the recipe in case you want to try it.

Oh and uh, try to get past the toothpaste and toothbrush that are staring accusingly at you from behind the cookie dough. Don't let it get to you! Just be sure to brush and floss tonight before you go to bed.

Now young moms, please try not to associate it with any diapers you've changed recently. If you are now truly grossed out, well I can only say its your own fault for reading.

And my mom's, for passing on evil cavity creators.

And when my kids have to deal with their owns kid's dentist bills, I'll just point my finger grandma and tell them to pounce.

In the meantime, eat chocolate.

Holiday Chocolate Shortbread Cookies.

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
1-1/4 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup Cocoa powder
1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) White chocolate Chips


1. Heat oven to 300°F. Beat butter, powdered sugar and vanilla until creamy. Add cocoa; blend well. Gradually add flour, stirring until smooth.

2. Roll or pat dough to 1/4-inch thickness on lightly floured surface or between 2 pieces of wax paper; with cookie cutters, cut in holiday shapes. Reroll dough scraps, cutting cookies until dough is used. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.

3. Bake 15 to 20 minutes or just until firm. Immediately place white chips, flat side down, in decorative design on warm cookies. Cool slightly; remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely. Store in airtight container. About 4-1/2 dozen (2-inch diameter) cookies.

8 super cool people speak:

CJB said...

I too have a hard time with flossing. Until I went to the Dollar store and found a packet of 50 flossers. I keep them next on my coffee table and floss while I watch a movie or read a book. You can't beat 50 flossers for a buck!
Happy flossing!!

CJB said...
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Heidi said...

My tooth problem is hereditary through my mother, too. Ours affects only the females. And it's a problem with acidity. I had to learn on my own that brushing twice a day BROUGHT the cavities, not prevent them. So I can only brush once a day. But the last year I have had to learn how to floss. It's know something I actually enjoy. Weird, I know. What I don't get is why you have to worry about the kids' teeth when at least the ones they have now will fall out anyway!

And, um, well I always knew my mental faculties were a little wonky. But this proves it--I never tried dry cake or brownie mix. Of course, I don't like cookie dough either. This recipe looks so easy. I must add it to the ever-growing list of things I want to make.

Good luck with the flossing and brushing!

Kirk and Cami Hull said...

I love the recipes you post! I tried the wheat thin one yesterday. Yeah, it was gone in one sitting.

Mama Smith said...

Ha! Since my mouth has paid for my dentist's BEAUTIFUL HOME and help put his kids through college...I can honestly say...per what YOUR DENTIST said..."It was "MY" MOTHER'S FAULT...that I had such lousy teeth..."...PLUS, I was told it was "Hereditary" that I have HIGH Cholesterol, hence "heart disease"...I can blame that on my DAD...Whew...I am "absolved from all "teeth" and "heart" related problems...Just tell your was their "GREAT-GRANDPARENTS' FAULT"...Ah...Now, I rest from all "guilt"....(smile) P.S. Caleb's mouth, I do believe, has us all whipped! (smile)

Mama Smith said...
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Brittney said...

haha, I have pretty good teeth I think, though I still have three cavities. The teeth cleaning lady always thinks I have been flossing diligently even when I haven't. The last time I went I didn't bother to correct her and just wrongfully accepted the praise :)

Garvin Smith said...

Brush once a day. Floss never.

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