September 24, 2009

Cleaning Incentives

I suppose its possible that I might be the only person who doesn't particularly care to spend my entire day cleaning. But just in case you are a bit like me in this matter, I have a special treat for you today.

When the cleaning gets old, and the house is in need of a makeover, sometimes we need... a push, or an incentive to get things done. My children have joined me today to share a few of their special tips on how to get things done. Take it away kiddos!

Okay! First, send your husband out of town for a few days. It helps us work better if we don't have that extra set of eyes or hands around to help out.

Now, for the hard places you know need to be cleaned but don't get cleaned often enough... like the stairs, we recommend the Joseph Special.

Go and do some laundry... or whatever it is you mommas do all day, and leave us to play in the kitchen. After a few moments, we will send someone to go and find you in a very frantic manner. Once you arrive, we will have already spilled an entire container of peanuts down the stairs.

Once we have weathered the mommy storm and start picking them all up we will be just about done when we go ahead and spill them again, just for good measure. This way, it forces you to vacuum them... really, really good.

For your typical, everyday spots that just might need some extra special cleaning, we recommend the Jacob Special.

Leave us to play quite happily by ourselves outside while you tend to the baby... or if you don't have a baby, go pay some bills or whatever. In a not very long amount of time, we will again send one of us in a frantic state to come and find you.

You will then be able to follow the muddy shoe prints from the door, across the kitchen floor, through the living room, down the hall, and into the bathroom. Chances are the kid (willing to risk their mortal existence for this noble endeavor... mom, no interruptions!), will be standing, still with the muddy shoes, on top of the toilet so they can wash their hands... because they want to be clean.

Be sure to toss the child into the bathtub... still with everything on of course, while you race to clean the floor before the baby starts exploring the tracks.

Now come back and run some water in the tub. Don't worry, we'll have some extra mud on hand, just in case it was too easy for you.

And for the places that almost never get cleaned, like the walls, simply turn your back on us for a minute to get the baby some food or to run to the bathroom, or something, and by the time its too late, we will be involved in a food fight! Or at the very least play with our food then touch the walls. This will guarantee you a clean wall in no time.

If you have any questions or would like to acquire our special services, simply contact our mom. I'm sure she wouldn't mind renting us out for a day or 40.


And I would just like to add that my kids are very good at what they do... very, very good.

6 super cool people speak:

Heidi said...

Definitely one of my favorite posts so far.

Valerie said...

Sounds like they keep you busy! :) But I don't think I'll need their special services since my 3 have their own unique ways of getting me to clean.

Michelle said...

Just today we were over visiting an elderly neighbor and Spence spilled a cup of rootbeer...I guess we're helping to get her house clean too...

My rule is I never say to myself "I need to mop" because, within a couple hours every time, there is a huge spill that requires the mop...

Mama Smith said...

All I can say is..."This too shall pass"....but, in the meantime...pray that someone will invent a robot...that does housekeeping...or that you will be blessed...with the powers of the witch in "Bewitched"...where all you need to do is twitch your nose...and PUFF...everything is back in perfect order....Hey...I kept wishing for such things...when you were all YOUNG...(smile)

Becki Underwood said...

Hm, this sounds familiar, but when it gets like this I try to remember that it won't be like this for long, and when it's not, I will really miss having my kiddos around to play in the mud with. :)

Jared said...

I guess there's always ducttape, but man it sure doesn't help the house get as clean! LOL and it would definitely stunt a kid's growth! So sad to even think about!

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