July 1, 2009

The Nature of Nature

It was 11pm Monday night. I was just falling asleep.

That's when the smell came.

My nose hairs tried to run and hide but found that they were paralyzed with fear.

Its the only smell in the world that rivals that of the diaper pail sitting in my garage.

I could have SWORN that that skunk was sitting outside our bedroom room with its bum pointed at our bed.

It was awful.

But then I found out while talking to a neighbor who lives around the corner and a few houses down, that they experienced the same thing.

I guess I missed the memo that the "Skunks have Rights" stink protest was to be last night.

Luckily the day dawned clear with no trace of the protest.

I suspect there will be a bug protest next. I ran into a little trouble with I was tearing down the "Buggers Bunk" Hotel. This is where my diplomatic skills came in handy.

I know its your family reunion, I'm sorry. But you need to roll out now.

Hey you guys! You over there! Could you please... oh.

Oh! Umm.. (cough... akward) believe me when I say, this is more embarrassing for me than it is for you. But I'm sorry, its time to take down the Honeymoon Suite.

Oh ya! You think your bouncers can scare me off? The bouncers with really... big and... really painful stingers....
Okay, on second thought, maybe I will come back later.

NOTE: When I returned a couple hours later the hotel had been evacuated except for the earthworms. They were determined to hold their ground.
So force became necessary for the re-location. But I am pleased to report that they are quite happy with there new villa by the tomatoes.

Now, I have a special treat for you. I would like you introduce you to "The Beast".

No, no, no. Not Savannah. The big, giant, child-eating thistle plant behind her.

Today, I killed The Beast. He fought back! He got me good with his back-lash which landed hard into my stomach and leg. And it was, oh so very painful and I admit, I buckled just a little. But I wouldn't give in. The shovel was faithful and we made a heck of a team. The giant is now nothing but chopped up greenery.

I've never seen one that big before though. He was actually quite fascinating to look at. But that's how they draw you in you know. With their bright colors.

The kids didn't believe me when I told them to stay away or he would eat them. But its true. I have proof.

They're sneaky enough. They hide their faces very well. It took me a while. A lot of patience waiting and stalking, but I finally got my evidence.

See? Told ya.

6 super cool people speak:

Kira said...

Umm. That doesn't look TOO doctored. Nice narrative. That thistle was awesome.

John and Jami West said...

That was the funniest best post ever!!! You crack me up!! That's funny because when we moved into our new house in Lehi we had the same nasty weeds and we had a few "Beasts" that John was even a little scared of!!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Oh no Kira, its a real face! I caught it on camera just before he hid it away again. =)

Jami, gotta love the beasts. Do you hack them? Spray them?

Mama Smith said...

Before you completely destroy your "prickly" friend...Here is some interesting information...(smile):
Having just gotten back from VIRGINIA...and with great interest in Thomas Jefferson' garden...you will find...he PURPOSELY GREW "Thistle" in this garden...Here is a little bit of history: In the language of flowers, the thistle (like the burr) is an ancient Celtic symbol of "nobility of character" as well as of birth, for the wounding or provocation of a thistle yields punishment. For this reason the thistle is the symbol of the Order of the Thistle, a high chivalric order of Scotland.
Another story is that a bare foot Viking attacker stepped on one at night and cried out, so alerting the defenders of a Scottish castle.[3] Whatever the justification, the national flower of Scotland is the thistle. It is found in many Scottish symbols and as the name of several Scottish football clubs. Carnegie Mellon University features the thistle in its crest.

Check out the MEDICINAL uses of thistle: http://www.botanical.com/botanical/mgmh/t/thistl11.html

Heidi said...

Sister Smith--you were in Virginia? Did you stop by to visit my little corner of it? Sorry to have missed you if you did!

Larsen said...

WOW. That is one serious sneaky face you have on that thistle.

Glad those beasts are gone from the castle where you live.

thanks for sharing.

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