July 17, 2009

Guest Post

So, I have a friend.

Its okay, you may a take few moments to recover from shock.

But she's not what you would consider a "typical" friend. We've never met in person and we've never talked on the phone. We are e-friends. It started with a little drawing I did of her boys and the emails haven't really stopped. She is one of those people who you can tell have a heart of gold, thinks the best of everyone, and she's really funny.

She's reads my blog and in return, send me her own stories about her three kids since she doesn't have a blog. Many of which include worms in the bed, tadpole gifts, and scissors to clothes.

She sent me this story the other day and it was SO, SO funny I just had to ask her if I could share it.

We are convinced there is a "Mommy Channel" that airs every night up in heaven where everyone gathers around to enjoy a good laugh at us mere mortals while feasting on calorie free/ fat free/ cholesterol free/ and yet somehow full flavor treats and snacks. Because I KNOW there will be chocolate in heaven. And I think this story has been aired more than once.

So enjoy the story and be sure to leave her some love and empathy, and let you know how much you laughed.


Oh Serene...

And that it was...It must have been the "Mommy Channel Special"...what else is there to do but laugh.

Since we were diligently working in the sweat shop trying to make progress on converting a shop into a little apartment for John's sister, it required another trip to Lowe's. The floor plan changed yet again and we were measuring trying to change the would be good-size closet into a bathroom.

We had the tape measure in hand...cleverly borrowed from the tool section, as we gathered our little crew in the bathroom area. Lowe's has the coolest display of bathroom necessities. Caleb-4 years old- was admiring the replica of the old style tubs. "Mom, I like this one...I want one like this." I replied, "Me too Caleb, I really like it." He was into this and just makes the trip easier.

John had little Angle Muffin strapped in the basket, as a good dad would with Jacob 6, somehow nearby, we mosied further into the store in search of more facilities to measure.

Leave it to me to notice Caleb was not beside us...I could see his little head 15' back, still admiring the displays, I hoped. Sure enough, I said to John as I focused his attention to Caleb..."Please tell me he is not peeing in that toilet."

He replied with the supporting, "Lady, I don't know you!!!", and bolted down the nearest isle with OUR other 2 children.

And yes...in a quick moment, one of a mother's worst fears near a Lowe's bathroom display became reality to me. There he was, so innocently and happily, peeing in the display toilet. I interrupted his relief session, pulled his shorts up to cover his little bare cheeks and such, to hurry down the nearest isle to find the hiding family members.

What else is there to do but laugh...laugh so hard you cry. As if claiming the child was not enough, when I finally regained my composure and decided it was time to maybe let the Lowe's employees know that toilet needed to be cleaned. Had I thought for a moment Caleb had done that in orneriness, he would have been helping, but he was so innocent.

When I humbly, red-faced approached the department, there was only one person in sight...it was not his area, (the others must have bolted the same time John & the others did). When I confessed in behalf of my 4 year-old, he said it was not the first time it had happened. But it was MY first time...hopefully my last.

So, as an experienced Mom in this particular area, be very very careful to keep close tabs on the little ones near the bathroom displays.

Huhhh...haaaa, what else do you do but make sure HE hears about this...in his teen years and special reminders as a dad!!

Humbled Mom...

Maria

11 super cool people speak:

Heidi said...

Oh, wow--that is fantastic.

Mama Smith said...

OK...young mother...To help make you feel better...I do have THREE stories...that would involve "3" of our "4" sons...but, I will only share ONE...(at this time)...(smile) Our youngest son...had just learned how to use the toliet all by himself...so when he announced that he had to use the bathroom during STAKE CONFERENCE...I let him...leave...You need to know...our family ALWAYS SITS in the FRONT ROW...So, while the entire STAKE PRESIDENCY and honored guess speakers were up on the stand...this young child...bolts through one of the BACK doors and runs up the AISLE to the front pew...with just his WHITE SHIRT on...holding HIGH IN THE AIR...his church PANTS and UNDERWEAR!!!! Yes...I tried very discreetly...to put back on his underwear and pants...not daring to LOOK BEHIND me...to see how many hundreds of members attending STAKE CONFENENCE...noticed this little boy....Yes...all I could do...was just take a DEEP BREATH...and hope NO ONE NOTICED....(smile)

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Really! How do I NOT remember that!... Okay, so maybe its a GOOD thing I don't remember that. =)

Kira said...

Oh Maria, I will watch the Mommy Channel and laugh.

Mama Smith said...

Sarah...It was your YOUNGEST BROTHER......and I did mention...I tried to "discreetly" put his pants back on...again...(smile)

Joel & Rebekah Greenway said...

That was the funniest thing ever at least she had the guts to say something usually at Wal*Mart we aren't so lucky we find that kind of stuff all the time with nobody to account for it...

GordoSafado said...

Eh, I know the feeling. Sometimes we get kids soo involved with the video games at work, that they forget about the important essentials of life and pee themselves right there at the games (sometimes carpet, sometimes tile). Yes...I humbly admit it is my job to do the cleaning of the mess so, over the years I've learned to watch for the "Dance of Nature" to warn me of the impending danger and make the children use the restroom :)

Angel said...

It was so funny to read but I do hope...and pray...that I will not have that experience.

Mama Smith said...

Angel...you have a BOY to raise...It is all part of the plan...(smile)

Heidi said...

Ha ha--Amen, Sister Smith! Oh my memories of growing up with brothers.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://love.ebiteua.com/]ebiteua[/url]

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...