May 14, 2009

WARNING: For Women Only

If you are a man and you are reading this post, I have some words of advise. Run and hide my friend. Just run and hide.

I have three sisters and four brothers. Of my sisters, I have one older and two younger. Next week, the last of my sisters will be getting married.

I was the first girl to get married. Since my husband and I both come from large families I did NOT want to have to deal with bridesmaids or groomsmen or the like. So I just skipped over that whole part. But at my sister's weddings, we have tried to match or at least be color coordinated. AND I was pregnant at BOTH of them, of course.

Sister One and Sister Two weddings. The first picture I am about two months preggo with Joseph and the second, several months along with Jacob.

I know, I don't pull the long blond hair look very well.

This time around I'm not pregnant (yea!) the colors are brown and blue and us sisters and my sister's best friend are all going to match.

But it has been one serious cause for drama. Since we are all different shapes, sizes and heights, and with one sister about to pop her second baby in a couple months it has been, well, interesting. Not to mention the great diversity of preferred styles.

So and so doesn't like their legs, so they don't want a knee length skirt. So and so doesn't like their arms so they don't like such and such shirt. They don't like heels, they don't like that outfit, that's too tight and on and on! It has been, well, quite dramatic.

But at last, we have it all figured out... I hope. But then I realized something. The skirt that my sister in Florida picked up for me is a size small. Umm, well, I'm still packing 10 extra pounds of baby weight so I called her up and asked if she thought she could exchange for a medium cause I don't know if I could fit into a small. We talked about how the material is stretchy and she asked how much I weigh, blah blah. She sounded confident that I would fit just fine in the small. Still doubtful I couldn't help but add, "I don't know, I'm still not sure if I can fit my big bum in that thing."
She laughed AT me and said, "Oh, don't worry, you'll be fine. You've always had a flat butt."

WELL! I wasn't exactly sure how to take that! I have never thought I have a flat bum. In fact I find it rather, um, biggish. But flat? Hmmm, don't most women consider that a bad thing? It's still processing with me cause I think my back end could use a little help.

Then the other day, I was watching a show and I'm going to skip all the details but in one scene the mother was talking to her adult son and said the following,

"Newsflash sweetheart, she already has body image issues. Its an intrinsic part of being a woman. Every woman in the world has some part of her that she absolutely hates."

After running through a list of things about themselves that a woman might hate she goes on.

"And nothing you can say will change how we feel. What men don't understand is, the right clothes, the right shoes, the right makeup, it just hides all the flaws we THINK we have. They make us look beautiful, to ourselves. THAT'S what makes us look beautiful to others."

Its funny, after listening to that I remember my mother always telling me that if I felt beautiful, than others would think I was beautiful too.

I suppose its human nature to find flaws about ourselves and so we seek ways to hide those flaws. THAT is why our relationship with God is so important. Because He can fill in those flaws we THINK we have and don't become obsessed with trying to please others.

HOWEVER, finding those things that make us feel beautiful help as well. For me, cute earrings, a good bra, and a good hair day help me.

So, help me out here ladies, what do you do to make yourselves feel beautiful?

14 super cool people speak:

Kira said...

Only you would have the gall to flatly state what many of us refuse to or just try to ignore. If a girl can find something that fits comfortably with class that won't stain with kids, she's glowing. Lucky girl she is.

Heidi said...

I like to dress in formals, put my hair up, and do the make-up thing so no one can tell I'm doing the make-up thing (unless you are an educated observer). Unfortunately, I can't always dress in a formal gown, and I'm really too lazy and cheapskate to do the hair and make-up every day. So I compromise by trying to dress sophisticated or elegant (in a toned down way) and put on foundation. Not sure how well I succeed in the look, but I usually do feel at least pretty. Beautiful? That's a harder one for me to feel on my own on a general, daily basis.

Katherine said...

Earrings do work wonders.

Brittney said...

haha.. so true.. I think about all the women I think are awesome and my heroes and I realize that none of them are perfect-looking super models, but they all seem comfortable with themselves. We all care way too much about how we personally look when most other people really don't care about how you look. It's more about how you act that attracts people to you :)

Mona said...

GET DRESSED. Number One. And I love how Ardeth Kapp Perry said once in a Women's Conf. talk, "I just LOVE make-up. It makes me look so much better than I FEEL." I never went a day without make-up as a young mommy. And if you REALLY want to improve your self-image to YOURSELF, you HAVE to exercise. It gives you confidence like nothing else. You are so right - it isn't about how you LOOK it is HOW you FEEL. I used to tell that to my Weight Watcher classes because it is soooo true.

And, by the way, I MUCH prefer directing men to women in stage productions because women are sooooo worried about HOW THEY LOOK! and give costumers grief to no end.

Go back and read the musing: "Whose Body Is It Anyway?"


Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Kira: Oh I hear ya babe, I hear ya.

Heidi: LOL, hey, whatever works! I feel loads better with foundation on. I think it would be fun to wear formals more often. Too bad there isn't more occasion for it.

Kathrine: Yes, yes they do.

Brittany: Its so true. People who are confident often feel good about themselves. You can just feel it coming from people.

Mona: I remember that post. And I COMPLETELY agree about exercising. I feel so much better now that I have started doing it again. Makes a HUGE differance for me.
LOL, and I love the saying by Ardeth Perry because I feel the same way.

Elizabeth said...

If I got to the effort of putting on eyeliner and eyeshadow (or, um..ANY makeup) I feel a lot better about the way I look. Or if I make any extra effort to fix my hair. That doesn't happen very often!

By the way, I totally watched that episode of Castle! Do you like it? I think it's kind of a fun show. We watched the whole season. And when she said that I just had to nod and let Trent know I agreed, because he's funny about stuff like girls getting all dolled up (not that that ever stops me if I feel so inclined), he just doesn't see the point, because girls don't "need" to do that to look good. But I totally believe that it's okay to do a little bit to make yourself feel pretty.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Hahaha! That's SO funny that you knew where that came from!
I have to admit, I do like that show. I think its fun.

Mama Smith said...

As a YOUNG woman and had eye lashes...I loved highlighing the only true feature worth showing eyes...Now, that most of my eye lashes have fallen out...I RARELY, if ever, put on makeup...Does that mean I am now a "free spirit"? (smile)

Katie Wood said...

I usually cut my hair if I am feeling gross. That way however I am feeling about myself, I will get a lot of compliments. I figure if most people are looking at how funky or spiky or brave or whatever my hair is, they won't notice the bulges and bumps so much.

Sara Lyn said...

If I'm comfortable, I'm happy. Especially if my hair isn't doing its flyaway thing. :) Shorts and tee-shirts and I feel great!

Garvin Smith said...

You're right, I shouldn't have read this post.

kbankids said...

Hey Serene-
Good thoughts. Tell ya what though. I always feel better about myself when I have accomplished something more than what I look like. I always wear mascara because i look half asleep without it but being active (outside not house work) is the number one booster for me.

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

wow - you look so beautiful pregnant!!

let's see, to make myself feel better, working out actually helps boost my self esteem a ton. If I don't have time that day to do that, then spending extra time on my hair or make up helps. And I won't ever turn away a new outfit either!

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